one time I was around at a guys house and I fell like a quarter way down his stairs while he was walking behind me he had these weird stairs which are different sizes to trip up burglars, I could've died of embarrasment

another time I was on a date and we got on a train together and I hit my head on the back of the seat when I went to sit down

do you have any?

I threw up on a guy while I was... yeah

I hope it's not what I think

This is my worst nightmare

same except u better believe i swallowed it immediately after then hated myself for the rest of the night

I was eating this guy out and he literally farted in my mouth. The half assed apology I got from him after he did it I was horrified but nothing will ever put me off a**. Ever.

i'm screeching

I used to organize these "troll dates" with guys who would insist to go out with me. This is my best one, I was 17.
The guy changed two trains to arrive to my rural town and the first thing I told him was, "you're much shorter than I thought!" Then, I kept speaking in this super country accent he hated, and I walked very fast and talked about nonsensical stuff like my list of favorite cold cuts and cheeses. We arrived at the ice cream place, I ordered two milkshakes for me but I didn't let him try them
He wanted to sit down at a park, clearly to make out, so I chose streets without parks and I kept making imitations of foreign accents. Then, we "casually" met a friend of mine who told me, "Stanyslaw Pryzbylewski! You're back from Poland already!", my date was SHOOK.
At the end I told him to text me when he'd arrive home. He never did

Omfg I'm done

i have waaayyy too many

LOGGING OFF

My vagina queefed so bad during sex, I got so embarrassed and cried lol

One time me and my ex were having sex in my car and we parked in some empty lot. We were going at it for a few minutes, then he went to stick it in. I was in the drivers seat, he was in the passengers seat. He sat his knee up on the middle console to get ready. Then his knee slipped off the console and he went in all at once. I started to bleed, and he pulled out all at once, and we all know what happens when they pull out too fast...Luckily i was able to hold everything in for the most part, but it almost perforated my colon from how fast and far he went it

This one is just awkward:

I was on a trip (it was this summer actually) and I went on Grindr to check if there were any interesting guys...and it was in a big city so obviously there were lots.

So I started talking to some of them, and I told them that my hotel was located close to a big square in the city centre (also a typical meet-up place in the city), so they knew where we could meet up. I end up talking with two guys who seem really nice, but one of them logs off so I start focusing on the other guy...and we decide to meet up. I walk to the square, and I know that he's about to be there, then the other guy texts me that he'll be there in 2 minutes. I was dying on the inside!

Thankfully I didn't run into him, but it felt so awkward.

These stories are a damn mess I wish my life was more interesting

THIS THREAD ALREADY

I was about to give this guy a rim job and as I was kissing down his back he said 'I warn you, I'm a little hairy' but I was like whatever...then I get there and there's like a ring of ****. I was like and immediately started kissing back up his spine and he giggled and said 'see, I told you.'

I was hooking up with a guy in his car, he was supposed to keep a look out since I couldn't see anything in my position but he was so into the moment he wasn't paying attention and a cop started banging on the windows. He made us get dressed leave the car gave us a lecture and let us go with a warning. We could have gone to jail I was so embarrassed and scared shitless. I was so pissed at my partner for not paying attention to our surroundings.

Another time I was on a date with a 29 year old (I'm 18) and it was our first (and last..) date. He was really kind, he held the doors, bought me coffee..it was so cute and I thought he was a gentleman. When he spoke he seemed so intelligent and down to earth, and before we left he said that he wanted to take things slow, not get sexual too soon etc and I thought "Okay, fair enough, maybe he's a keeper and a potential boyfriend".

So I come home...and I receive like 10 naked snaps from him where he asks me to strip in front of my mirror, record moaning sounds and do lots of sexual stuff...I was so surprised and shocked. He had literally told me to take things slowly and get to know each other on a personal level before getting sexual 20 minutes before.

...We never met again.