So this past saturday, my roommate threw me a going away party because i'll be leaving to go to South Korea in 7 days. I have a best friend who is male and ive been really close friends with him for a little over a year. At the point we both got super drunk which led to us getting into a physical fight, and crying on my apartment floor. He has always identified as straight but while we were both drunk, he kept suggesting that we have sex and after 20 minutes of convincing me, i agreed. Not only did I have intercourse with my best friend but i also took his virginity. We talked it over in the morning and decided that we should just put it behind us and not let it hurt our friendship.

But today he came over and said that it would be best if we didnt talk for a while and said "have fun in korea" before leaving

I know that it is hard for him and that his world has been turned upside down by this and im trying not to be selfish but im devastated. Like neither of us have feelings for each other and both of us were fine with treating it like it didnt happen. but both of us have alot of emotional baggage. His stemming from sexuality issues and mine stemming from previous drug abuse and abusive relationships

I'll be in South Korea for 17 weeks (4 months) and when i get back, i'll see if its enough time for him.

I dont want to lose my best friend but i want to give him space.

Do you guys have any advice for what i should do, or has this happened to you?

I do, it just makes me incredibly angry to read sth like this. I'm not even mad at the user, I'm mad he was made believe that this is an "ok" thought. In my opinion, it just shows so very much.

Gworl, "have fun in korea" means "I don't want you to have fun without me".

Idk. I kinda see what he's doing as a bit manipulative. Like, you're not gonna see each other for 4 months, why did he feel the need to tell you he doesn't think you should talk anymore? It's not like you would've been doing much talking anyway. Either he wants you to Fight For This Love.mp3 or he just wants you to be sad about him in South Korea

i took it as sarcasm and he really meant never talk to me again

while we were drunk, he kept trying to kiss me on the lips and kept laughing when i would get mad. I thought he was straight and that he was playing mind games with me and then he kept asking for us to have intercourse and now he doesnt want to talk to me anymore. Its such a rollercoaster situation

I think he needs time to think about your friendship's future and his sexuality. It seems to me he wants that distance from you to kind of get his head around this. Nonetheless, all we can do as a bunch of strangers is guess but the only accurate (well maybe) answer you're going to get is from him.It's not really surprising because y'know, your friendship is never going to be the same. Not only did you have sex but you lost ur virginity to him.

What a damn mess. Good timing that you're heading off for a while to let the dust settle, and you'll obviously be in touch. Sadly I think this will have repercussions for your friendship and "pretending something didn't happen" when you're both well aware that it did is kinda the wrong way to go about it.

Clearly he's having some kind of sexuality crisis through being attracted to you despite considering himself "straight," so some time to sort that out will help him too.

A mess. Good luck!

Your friendship is probably dead (or maybe it isn't I don't know how liberal the both of you are, he at least sounds kind of conservative so I doubt he is liberal enough for your friendship to survive intact). He probably has feelings for you which will also not help your probably dead friendship and if you don't have feelings for him then there isn't a chance of any other sort of relationship. In my opinion you should just cut ties now, rip the plaster off and all that.