Yes, everything I say is calculated.
I've learned that if you keep repeating a lie about yourself, it becomes true.
Like I make stuff up to seem more interesting and eventually it becomes a real part of my personality.
For example until I was like 9 I was a total nerd with no interest in pop culture or anything but I felt like I was boring and forgettable so I started pretending to be really vapid and that I loved the Kardashians and now both of those are true.
One of my fave examples is how I pretended to hate dissections and feel sick seeing them and now whenever we get told we're doing one in class everyone looks at me and the teachers let me go somewhere else.
I change little facts about myself to people all the time and it feels like I play different characters to all the different people in my life 
stop trying pretend yur some kind of psychologist