Originally posted by moonlight. its not lmao. when this 40 year old guy ****ed me and left me at a gas station at 1pm in the afternoon was NOT it

Originally posted by M A R C I thought you were white. People give me the same reactions when they find out i'm white.

Originally posted by Almodusa Ahh I can't wait for new Gaga music. Buddy are you ready

Originally posted by Almodusa Ahh I can't wait for new Gaga music.

Originally posted by Buddy! MARC always reminded me of Naomi from drag race I always envisioned him looking like ha. IDK why

um

Originally posted by M A R C um

Hi

Ok so you guys know how my uncle died a few weeks ago... After his service we had like 50+ people come back to my house (my uncle knew like everybody, I literally didn't know at least half ot the people who came ) and so there was like a lot of food and beverages etc... WAIT. I have to go kinda off-topic but not really okay so I think I've probably talked a few times in here about alcohol and how I don't drink and don't want to drink even moderately because I know myself well enough + the fact that there are countless alcoholics on my family... Well that night I slipped I guess? I just started..drinking, idk, but before I knew it I was drunk af. It just felt so amazing like I have literally not felt that at ease and that "happy" in over ten years, I swear. Like I walked downtown in my town after everybody left and just started talking to so many different people and like I just felt like all of my problems were gone.
Since then I have gotten drunk twice again, and each time I got even more wasted than the time before (one of the occasions was my best friends 21st birthday so like I guess it makes sense right? But the events that took place that night/morning are a whole 'nother story for another time d). Anyway so the second time I got drunk I drank alone. I vaguely remember walking all around my town and stuff and I remember at like 3am downloading grindr And I ended up having somebody meet me where I was at the harbor in my town and they picked me up and we went back to their house (obviously this is so out-of-character of me to do as you guys know I really don't like hooking up w strangers at all). I can't remember his name, his face or where he lives, and I can hardly put a face to him. I don't remember almost anything, and the things I do are so blurry and vague because I guess I really drank, like...a lot that night. I remember us being in his shower and a couple of other things. But to finally get to the main reason I am explaining all of this... I remember there being a point where I just wanted to stop. Something switched in my mind or something, idfk, but I remember asking/telling him I wanted to stop and I wanted to go home... And I remember him not stopping. I remember vaguely that I was going on and on about something about how I really can't do hook ups or have sex with people because of certain things. I remember him being on top of me as I was pleading with him to stop asking me something along the lines of "I can't tell, is this real or are we roleplaying?" and I remember telling him him clearly that no, we were not roleplaying and that I was being serious, that I wanted him to stop-- and he didn't. (Mind you, by this point there had been no penetration involved). I don't remember how or when things ended, but I remember lying on his bed staring at the ceiling and my eyes were teary and I was going on and on about something, but I can't remember what exactly it was. I remember him bringing me my clothes and shoes. I remember saying something like "wait- you put your penis inside me didn't you?" and he was like "yeah I did". After that he brought me back and I just remember walking a few blocks home (I didn't want him knowing where I lived) feeling miserable and unsure about everything. Then I went to sleep for like half of the day.
So like.........was I raped? I don't to say I was raped if I wasn't. Like I have no memory of him brutally pinning me down of forcefully penetrating me. But I know for a fact that everything I mentioned above did indeed happen. I know that I was begging him to stop and that did would not and did not stop. I don't know for how long or anything too specific. When I woke up I was not experiencing any unbearable pain or anything? Ugh idk. I'm so confused and I'm just pissed and annoyed with myself for even touching any alcohol in the first place because I told myself I was never going to let myself risk skewing my judgement with alcohol. So like yeah I'm sorry this was such a long post and if you read it all the way through thank you. I really needed to vent about this because up until now I have not mentioned this to a single person. I appreciate y'all a lot and how so many of you have been so helpful through different situations in the past.

Originally posted by Nemo hi Ok so you guys know how my uncle died a few weeks ago... After his service we had like 50+ people come back to my house (my uncle knew like everybody, I literally didn't know at least half ot the people who came ) and so there was like a lot of food and beverages etc... WAIT. I have to go kinda off-topic but not really okay so I think I've probably talked a few times in here about alcohol and how I don't drink and don't want to drink even moderately because I know myself well enough + the fact that there are countless alcoholics on my family... Well that night I slipped I guess? I just started..drinking, idk, but before I knew it I was drunk af. It just felt so amazing like I have literally not felt that at ease and that "happy" in over ten years, I swear. Like I walked downtown in my town after everybody left and just started talking to so many different people and like I just felt like all of my problems were gone. Since then I have gotten drunk twice again, and each time I got even more wasted than the time before (one of the occasions was my best friends 21st birthday so like I guess it makes sense right? But the events that took place that night/morning are a whole 'nother story for another time d). Anyway so the second time I got drunk I drank alone. I vaguely remember walking all around my town and stuff and I remember at like 3am downloading grindr And I ended up having somebody meet me where I was at the harbor in my town and they picked me up and we went back to their house (obviously this is so out-of-character of me to do as you guys know I really don't like hooking up w strangers at all). I can't remember his name, his face or where he lives, and I can hardly put a face to him. I don't remember almost anything, and the things I do are so blurry and vague because I guess I really drank, like...a lot that night. I remember us being in his shower and a couple of other things. But to finally get to the main reason I am explaining all of this... I remember there being a point where I just wanted to stop. Something switched in my mind or something, idfk, but I remember asking/telling him I wanted to stop and I wanted to go home... And I remember him not stopping. I remember vaguely that I was going on and on about something about how I really can't do hook ups or have sex with people because of certain things. I remember him being on top of me as I was pleading with him to stop asking me something along the lines of "I can't tell, is this real or are we roleplaying?" and I remember telling him him clearly that no, we were not roleplaying and that I was being serious, that I wanted him to stop-- and he didn't. (Mind you, by this point there had been no penetration involved). I don't remember how or when things ended, but I remember lying on his bed staring at the ceiling and my eyes were teary and I was going on and on about something, but I can't remember what exactly it was. I remember him bringing me my clothes and shoes. I remember saying something like "wait- you put your penis inside me didn't you?" and he was like "yeah I did". After that he brought me back and I just remember walking a few blocks home (I didn't want him knowing where I lived) feeling miserable and unsure about everything. Then I went to sleep for like half of the day. So like.........was I raped? I don't to say I was raped if I wasn't. Like I have no memory of him brutally pinning me down of forcefully penetrating me. But I know for a fact that everything I mentioned above did indeed happen. I know that I was begging him to stop and that did would not and did not stop. I don't know for how long or anything too specific. When I woke up I was not experiencing any unbearable pain or anything? Ugh idk. I'm so confused and I'm just pissed and annoyed with myself for even touching any alcohol in the first place because I told myself I was never going to let myself risk skewing my judgement with alcohol. So like yeah I'm sorry this was such a long post and if you read it all the way through thank you. I really needed to vent about this because up until now I have not mentioned this to a single person. I appreciate y'all a lot and how so many of you have been so helpful through different situations in the past. Edit: Ok same no this was not a reply to the post above mine. Also, I don't expect everyone to read that all bc it's so long sorry.

Originally posted by Nemo hi Ok so you guys know how my uncle died a few weeks ago... After his service we had like 50+ people come back to my house (my uncle knew like everybody, I literally didn't know at least half ot the people who came ) and so there was like a lot of food and beverages etc... WAIT. I have to go kinda off-topic but not really okay so I think I've probably talked a few times in here about alcohol and how I don't drink and don't want to drink even moderately because I know myself well enough + the fact that there are countless alcoholics on my family... Well that night I slipped I guess? I just started..drinking, idk, but before I knew it I was drunk af. It just felt so amazing like I have literally not felt that at ease and that "happy" in over ten years, I swear. Like I walked downtown in my town after everybody left and just started talking to so many different people and like I just felt like all of my problems were gone. Since then I have gotten drunk twice again, and each time I got even more wasted than the time before (one of the occasions was my best friends 21st birthday so like I guess it makes sense right? But the events that took place that night/morning are a whole 'nother story for another time d). Anyway so the second time I got drunk I drank alone. I vaguely remember walking all around my town and stuff and I remember at like 3am downloading grindr And I ended up having somebody meet me where I was at the harbor in my town and they picked me up and we went back to their house (obviously this is so out-of-character of me to do as you guys know I really don't like hooking up w strangers at all). I can't remember his name, his face or where he lives, and I can hardly put a face to him. I don't remember almost anything, and the things I do are so blurry and vague because I guess I really drank, like...a lot that night. I remember us being in his shower and a couple of other things. But to finally get to the main reason I am explaining all of this... I remember there being a point where I just wanted to stop. Something switched in my mind or something, idfk, but I remember asking/telling him I wanted to stop and I wanted to go home... And I remember him not stopping. I remember vaguely that I was going on and on about something about how I really can't do hook ups or have sex with people because of certain things. I remember him being on top of me as I was pleading with him to stop asking me something along the lines of "I can't tell, is this real or are we roleplaying?" and I remember telling him him clearly that no, we were not roleplaying and that I was being serious, that I wanted him to stop-- and he didn't. (Mind you, by this point there had been no penetration involved). I don't remember how or when things ended, but I remember lying on his bed staring at the ceiling and my eyes were teary and I was going on and on about something, but I can't remember what exactly it was. I remember him bringing me my clothes and shoes. I remember saying something like "wait- you put your penis inside me didn't you?" and he was like "yeah I did". After that he brought me back and I just remember walking a few blocks home (I didn't want him knowing where I lived) feeling miserable and unsure about everything. Then I went to sleep for like half of the day. So like.........was I raped? I don't to say I was raped if I wasn't. Like I have no memory of him brutally pinning me down of forcefully penetrating me. But I know for a fact that everything I mentioned above did indeed happen. I know that I was begging him to stop and that did would not and did not stop. I don't know for how long or anything too specific. When I woke up I was not experiencing any unbearable pain or anything? Ugh idk. I'm so confused and I'm just pissed and annoyed with myself for even touching any alcohol in the first place because I told myself I was never going to let myself risk skewing my judgement with alcohol. So like yeah I'm sorry this was such a long post and if you read it all the way through thank you. I really needed to vent about this because up until now I have not mentioned this to a single person. I appreciate y'all a lot and how so many of you have been so helpful through different situations in the past. Edit: Ok same no this was not a reply to the post above mine. Also, I don't expect everyone to read that all bc it's so long sorry.