Hugamari - I Can Not Face Reality
Overall I think you did a pretty good job. Your chorus melody is really good, I especially love the part where you repeat the title, and I think the verse melody is quite good too. However there's kinda an issue with the pre-chorus where the melody is the same as the verse. There should be a little more distinction between these two parts, I think. Cause the way it is now it all feels just like one big verse rather than a pre-chorus as you intended, so you could definitely switch that up. There are a few pauses throughout the song which are just kind of random and feel a little awkward. In both 4th lines of the verses you lost the rhythm a little. On the lyrical side, I enjoyed your verse lyrics a lot. The chorus, slightly basic, but it works. The changes in the chorus gave the song nice momentum. Not perfect, but I think this could work greatly as a song.
Vision - Memories
Hi Cher. Honestly I get like, no melody from this. It's really quite over the place. I think you could've added a pre chorus after the first verse cause there's like 15 seconds of silence for some reason. On the lyrical side, I'm kinda bored to death of story telling songs. It lacks a lot of insightfulness that I'd hope for and thoughtfulness of situations or emotions. When it comes to me, story telling songs are really hard to hit the nail of the end - a lot of the time I think they're totally basic. A story of just narration is pretty dull, if you see what I mean? And when it comes to story telling songs, people just go all for narration (like this). While it's good at painting a picture, that's kinda all it does for me. It's very surface level and it doesn't really hit me deep where songs like your last entry do. The forget/reset rhyme was quite bad. There are some nice lines, but in general I found it stagnant.
Citrus - Dear Marcus
Hello Slim Shady. Interesting to rehash Stan like this. The melody is quite nonexistent in the verses. It gives me a pastor tea with the rambling. As a song it's really just a mess, the chorus is interesting yet feels out of place - there's not enough going on, just rambling. Lyrically you have some nice lines (verse 1: 5th, 6th. verse 2: 4th [though ruined by the horrible rhyme], verse 3: 4th, 8th), yet more lines I didn't really like (the rest) whether they be cringeworthy or just odd. The story is really unfocused and all over the place. Though, as a story telling song I did prefer this because it did have some thoughtfulness injected into it. But I just can't get over this just being a watered down version of Stan conceptually.
CountryBritney - Into the Light
I was really into it with the first line, but the rest of the verse didn't actually follow the same melody which was a shame. The chorus melody is much better though, and the pre chorus is actually really great (particularly the first line - again, you kinda changed it up with the other lines which could've been done without). Lyrically, you did pretty well. I don't know if you intended for this, but in the last two lines of the chorus to me you were referring to him potentially getting locked away in an asylum, (I interpreted the first line meaning by drying his eyes he was pretty much having to pretend to be okay, and the idea of going into the light made me imagine the bright, white room you typically see 'insane' people locked in) and while I don't know if you actually meant for that to be the case, I still think this is a sign of some great lyricism because a really good lyricist's words can be interpreted in a number of ways and songs are kind of about finding your own meaning - I absolutely loved that. The second verse complimented this idea, so I'm going with it. The bridge, I don't really know what that's referring to or what the point of it is, I feel like you kind of added it in just for the sake of having some nice buzzwords like demons, bones, battles, etc. but, the rest of it I really enjoyed.
TheCheetahwings - In My Eyes
I don't know if it's just the way the singer did it, but he's not actually singing to the same melody. It's, like, different on many lines. Maybe that's just an issue with getting somebody else to sing your song. Though still, this worked well as a song. You did well of sectioning everything and there are no awkward pauses or anything, it's very well put together. The in my eyes hook is really catchy and so are some parts of the melody, so you did really quite well since they're stuck in my head. You can almost not even tell that this was written to track! Your writing is kind of how I remember it. Rather squeaky clean pop. I can see why it got you far cause it lacks fault, but as a whole it doesn't scream impressive either. It's a well written song, but it's not a winners song. I hope you make it to the next round, if so I'd advise you to really try to step it up because the eliminations are getting harsh. What you're doing isn't bad but it's very susceptible to being overshadowed. I think you've proven yourself as a pretty good top 40 esque writer in getting to this stage but if you really wanna win now is the time to go big or go home (literally!).
Feelslikeadream - Sandman
Here, you've done a good job of accompanying the instrumental with a song. But there aren't enough home references. The melody could be better in the verses, while it goes well for a song it isn't particularly catchy which was kinda the aim here. And, there wasn't enough home references. Luckily, the pre chorus had more catchiness, especially in the why'd he leave where'd he go part. But, there weren't enough home references. The chorus is pretty good melodically but it significantly lacked home references. Lyrically the story telling is a little on the boring side, but the chorus is pretty good (although it kinda just had fluff references like the sea and drowning and gold but not enough home references). The caffeine line could've been good but ended up being out of place here, instead I would've used a line in relation to the idea of 'home'. If it was a little more a witty song it'd have went well, but it didn't and it lacked home references. I see what you were going for though so it makes sense and I can really take offence at it although I don't see enough home references and to that I do take offence. None of this matters anyway because I'm giving you a 10 for the final note. Um but yeah maybe let's pretend next round has a story telling ban and let me inside YOUR mind.
Achilles - Boys Will Be Boys
I quite like the melody really. Personally I don't have a problem with songs that are kinda sing-talky or have that shouty quality. The melody and style kind of fit together and are anthemic so it works for me. The chorus especially works really well for a pop song. However the lyrics are truly just something else. I'm not sure what the point of it is, like maybe if you'd written a song that was witty or to be used as social commentary but it doesn't have either of those, it's pretty much just lines of stereotypes (they're a little fitting and funny but this doesn't change the fact they're lacking). It's got no insight or meaning to it, so that's kind of the problem I have here. But I do thank you for trying in the end, though.
Moonchild - Summer Goes
Melodically, this is probably the strongest of the whole bunch. The lyrics don't really match that, though. They're basic. You went for summer bop obviously (which is fitting for the instrumental so I get it) but it isn't impressive. It's cute definitely, and I liked it, but you kinda have to look at it for what it is and it's pretty basic. Though, the song in general was really well written so I can't give you an awful score that the negativity probably would lead you to expect!
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