"Pebe Sebert, the virgin mother, had been touched provocatively by the hand of God, leaving her bearing his child. Strapped to the back of a donkey, it carried her to a nearby brothel, where she seeked a room to give birth. They lead her to their barn out the back, where she lay down, waiting for the glorious moment to arrive.

Once our new savior, Ke$u$, was born, gifts from the most important people were brought from afar. Two wise men, Dr. Luke and Max Martin, were lead to the barn by an Angel, bearing the gifts of auto-tune and hot production.

And with these new gifts, Ke$u$ wandered the U.S and other irrelevant countries, gathering Ke$ciples with her glorious music, and continues to grant us the gift of her and her music's presence to this very day."

Dr. Luke 3:21:5

And since that history altering day, statues have been erected (The Statue of Ke$haty), Box-office grosses have been smashed (Ke$hatar), wars have been fought (World War $), and music records have been made ("TiK ToK").

She's not just an idol,
She's more than a hero,
She is
Ke$u$!



HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LORD.