Tournament: PLATINUM HIT 9 - Page 698

Cupid

Quote:

she says Dark Side will probably be a single, my favourite on the album!

Screaming at this being my first post, I was so innocent.

Hugamari

ddd i just looked it up, I'm 12th in Jackson's, yikes!

Jackson

I'm dying at fefe's first post on ATRL literally being just "

"

also jpow being a former lil monster

Jackson

my first post being straight tea and fortune telling of course:

Quote:

I was saying Unconditionally was my favorite for a while but Dark Horse has really grown on me. It could be the biggest hit of her career

8thPrince

****ing GROOVES wow

Truffle.

When we getting the Platinum Hitlist? Tmrw?

feelslikeadream

Quote:

Originally posted by Jackson

I'm dying at fefe's first post on ATRL literally being just "

"

also jpow being a former lil monster

What was it even in response to?

Jackson

Quote:

Originally posted by feelslikeadream

What was it even in response to?

Nothing. There was no quoted post or anything, it was literally just you posting "

" in the Work Bitch thread

http://atrl.net/?p=16300365

Truffle.

There is no reason to biblio at Work Bitch.
None, Zero, Nada!

Gladion

I'm going this week for sure now. It's been a fun ride, but it looks like I'm going this round. This is by far my least favorite song of the competition. I didn't know how childish to be, because the song would be bad. I didn't know how adult to be, making the song better, without ruining the theme. Hopefully I can comeback next week and make a song for ME!

not for a movie, not a sequel, not a label. I want to write a Niko song, so hopefully somehow I can be safe and do it next week. I promise I have more potential, this week was just a miss for me overall

Although I think that Ballarinas is a very ME song, love in the spotlight and emotions are nothing I believe in or have passion towards, I like love in the spotlight though.

Hopefully since the comeback round was such a miss this time around you consider only bringing back 1 maybe 2 people and only get rid one or 2 of the players in the game right now, rather than 3 people leaving this week and 3 returning from earlier in the competition

I really hope I'm safe but I doubt it. This weeks song was really not something I'm really proud of. But hopefully I can pull through and somehow be safe

ceremonials

if 3 ppl are getting let back i guess I might have a chance at #3.

Hopefully

Truffle.

Quote:

Originally posted by ceremonials

if 3 ppl are getting let back i guess I might have a chance at #3.

Hopefully

girl check ur thread

Truffle.

nnn i really feel like the judges will either,

a) make a new comeback challenge/round
b) not let anyone come back

feelslikeadream

Quote:

Originally posted by Jackson

Nothing. There was no quoted post or anything, it was literally just you posting "

" in the Work Bitch thread

http://atrl.net/?p=16300365

Oh, mess. That song is trash, so it makes sense

MattyTacos

I'm 8th. I'll take it.

Cupid

I left a post in the PH thread
By the time you read it i'll be out the game
Out the game
I ain't ****ing with nobody
Let's have a toast to the last round
Suicide before you see me quit the game
Me and my songs we gon' be alright
We gon' live a good life
Big Jackson better grow up
Me and my players bout to stroll up
I see swiftie on the corner
He sneakin in the backdoor
8th only want me when i'm not there
He better call Temporal with the LSD

Dylobs

Where in god's name is Ventitonic?! He could not be ~bothered~ to submit an entry but he could've fairly easily had a good chance at this

Tylerbv

Just got off work a little bit ago so lemme read the reviews and cry.

Quote:

Tylerbv – Vicious Game
I’ve been incredibly hard on you throughout this competition, and while I’ll admit this wasn’t anything mind-blowing, it was the first entry from you this season I genuinely enjoyed reading. My biggest problem here was in the chorus. You were being incredibly specific about the chorus without really identifying explicitly what was going on. “I need to make it out alive so I can keep her safe” doesn’t make much sense without the context of the movie at hand, yet I wouldn’t have known you chose the movie had you not already told me before reading the song. There were a few imprecise phrases that could have been strengthened, like “the risk is so high” which would have benefitted from a stronger, more descriptive word in place of “so” or “high”. This felt more like a song than anything you’ve submitted in the competition, and there were some clever lines as well (“the pounding cannons echo my racing heart” or “I’m running with my ghosts because I’m lost/I can’t figure out if winning is worth the cost”). Keep working on the little poetic imprecisions. A lot of time I feel like you have a really strong concept and a lot to say, but you struggle fitting everything within the boundaries a song requires. Still, I enjoyed this and love the growth I’m seeing.

I loved the lost/cost line

I definitely felt that this was more song like (I've written poetry more than songs as I'm sure you can tell) so I'm glad it felt that way for you too. I like this review overall

Wait am I your #6?

I'm never that high. Slay.

Quote:

Tylerbv –

“A guilty heart is the only prize” Dang, that’s a good line.

I like the specificity of certain antecedents here (“Her” for Primrose Everdeen, tying it into the franchise and making it less of a separate pop song.). Also like how you tackle the moral dilemma of the games (Although the concept itself in the franchise as far as I’m concerned is handled like total bullocks, whatever, you did the best you could do.). I think it fits overall.

Content wise, you’re going to need to tighten up your meter. You have some semblances of matching stresses between lines, but there are many instances of you adding too many words and messing up the flow. Sit down and read some articles on meter/stressing from poetry sites before you write your next song.

I liked that line

fff I tried with meter for one of my verses (I forgot which one), but I couldn't make it work with the other... or the choruses. I'm trying still, but I suck with stressing

Thanks

Quote:

Originally posted by 8thPrince

8th's hints!!!111!! (Keep in mind we're still missing one entry, so rankings subject to change.)

Bottom 9
Achilles. - Love Letter
Citrus - Scream
Dylobs - ChungKing Express
feelslikeadream - Roman Holiday
jpow - The Great Train Robbery
MattyTacos - Resident Evil
NaitPhoenix - Sailor Moon
Niko - Eoudong
Tylebv - Bring It On

I understand it might be hard to decode, but don't beat yourselves up over it, and cheer up!

What is this

jpow

Quote:

Originally posted by Jackson

I'm dying at fefe's first post on ATRL literally being just "

"

also jpow being a former lil monster

Tylerbv

Quote:

7. Tylerbv - Vicious Game
The Hunger Games
You're way too direct with your lyrics. "You could still have yourself a meaningful life", "I need to make it out alive so I can keep her safe," and "I can no longer tell what's real and what's not / And I'm losing sight of what this is all for" for example sound like quotes straight from a book or short story. I get that storyteller songwriting is your thing, but I want to start to see you bending and reaching for language that you wouldn't normally consider, and experiment with sentence structure all so that you can create and develop a style, because right now, there really isn't one. Even the title really lacks a creative interpretation or idea. I want you to stop taking and writing things at face value and add second dimensions to them. The song itself wasn't bad, it was just okay, and that's a dangerous realm to be in halfway through the competition. I know there's more to you, but are you just scared to unleash it? I'm not sure.

fff messy I was actually trying to stay away from being super storyteller-...y this time. There's definitely not much extravagant language, but I tried to create more of an atmosphere than my last songs. Guess I'll have to try harder next time (if I'm not cut!).

Quote:

Originally posted by Citrus

Tyler is a Cher stan, she better SERVE for the Crew.

I wanna write something as good as Dark Lady some day