Quote:
Originally posted by Nait Phoenix
I was ready to sit by and let it happen, but I can't anymore…
My first verse was not mechanically wrong.
I said "I'm not ready to ascend, but my heart is slowly breaking" i.e. "I'm not ready to go to the afterlife, but it's happening anyways." That's correct, no matter how you spin it!
" Was looking in the right direction, but my feet wouldn't move;" both past tense words because it happened in the past!
And if you lot cannot see this song is literally how I've been feeling for the past three seasons of this game… 
"What must I make for you to need me?" I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU GUYS! YOU!! THE JUDGES, THE CONTESTANTS, THIS GODFORSAKEN GAME! WHAT THE **** MUST I MAKE FOR YOU TO NEED ME!? GEEZUM, WAS IT NOT THAT OBVIOUS!?
This whole song is me comparing my songwriting life-cycle to that of a cicada! It was exactly what was asked! To think that no one in this game can see these songs are not ******** and that they're personal infuriates me…
I'm done semi-pandering: whatever I make from now on is on my terms…
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Listen here you little ****, I obviously got what the **** you were talking about, which is WHY I mentioned the defeatist attitude. I could not give a single, solitary **** about your problems since you force them upon the people in this thread in aggressive manner. Until you're ready to let people help you, get the **** over yourself.
Quote:
I said "I'm not ready to ascend, but my heart is slowly breaking" i.e. "I'm not ready to go to the afterlife, but it's happening anyways." That's correct, no matter how you spin it!
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The "but" is STILL unnecessary, you could take it out and the line would still make sense (really MORE sense).
The first verse is still confusing with the shift from present to past to back to present. What I pointed out was actually mechanically correct looking back, but the verse in general still had issues.
Quote:
This whole song is me comparing my songwriting life-cycle to that of a cicada! It was exactly what was asked! To think that no one in this game can see these songs are not ******** and that they're personal infuriates me…
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I didn't say otherwise

Don't put words into my mouth. You executed the challenge.
You need to calm down. I have no idea why you feel the need to take shots from the hip, but knock it off. If you want to point out things in a respectful manner, we can have a conversation about it, otherwise, I have ZERO interest in helping your bitter ass out.