Discussion: Do you ever feel used?

jonasha

Do you ever feel used by friends/family/spouse/etc?

I have a friend who likes to talk to me a lot, but I think it's because I'm always giving him compliments or making him feel better. He's your typical straight guy and he has the most beautiful blue eyes ever so of course I'm going to give him compliments. He knows that I'm gay and doesn't have a problem with it but I feel like he's just pandering to me so that I can make him feel wanted/desired. He definitely has self esteem issues and believes that he's ugly/unworthy for a girlfriend.

I like him as a person (when he's not being self deprecating), he's a sweet guy but I can't shake the feeling that he's just using me so that he can feel better and totally disregarding who I am and using my sexuality to build his own self confidence. It wasn't as bad when we first started being friends but now 50% of our convos is him telling me a sob story or his insecurities and myself affirming the opposite.

He's an amazing person when I need help and he's definitely a good friend to have so I don't want to lose him but at the same time I can't deal with his ass anymore. (He also asked me yesterday if I wanted to cuddle with him, I'm like boy unless you come out to me this instant, I'm not playing those games with you.)

What should I do?

Abyssy

Get that D!

xox

Mezter

I'm the definition of a used bitch

DevonDreams

Only when I get hair in my mouth.

jonasha

Quote:

Originally posted by Abyssy

Get that D!

xox

Definitely think he's straight. He's always whining about wanting a girlfriend and he's tired of jerking it. If he wanted to smash he would just tell me. I'm always straight up with him and the same the other way around.

cherylcole

With my experience, he's probably gay or bisexual and he finds you easy/comforting to talk to.

And yeah I often feel used by some of my friends, I can never tell if I'm just paranoid or if they actually are using me though.

B'Day

Zhuge Liang

Personally, I feel in a way yes. I guess if it's not too serious then it's okay, even myself sometimes do that. It's human nature. And in response to your story, he's just joking. Best not to take him seriously. Don't give much attention to him or tell him that he's being annoying. Just be straight forward about how you feel and talk it out.

jonasha

Quote:

Originally posted by cherylcole

With my experience, he's probably gay or bisexual and he finds you easy/comforting to talk to.

I feel like he would have told me if he was gay/bi since he tells me literally every intimate detail of his life. He wanted to snuggle because he "wanted to feel someone's warmth".

britkneepopboi

Sometimes Yeah

Abyssy

Quote:

Originally posted by jonasha

Definitely think he's straight. He's always whining about wanting a girlfriend and he's tired of jerking it. If he wanted to smash he would just tell me. I'm always straight up with him and the same the other way around.

Maybe he's bi-curious? Maybe he'd even just try it once to see what it's like? Would you go for it if he was willing?

xox

NX127

Yes but I don't really mind, I like comforting people around me.

jonasha

Quote:

Originally posted by Abyssy

Maybe he's bi-curious? Maybe he'd even just try it once to see what it's like? Would you go for it if he was willing?

xox

Just from my values and self respect, I couldn't do it (even though he's hot as hell). I consider him a friend and I would honestly feel very very used if he just wanted to do something out of curiosity rather than because of his feelings towards me. (even though he's hot as hell, he looks like Jordy Nelson with a more proportional face.

)

Aqim

I dont think he's using you. NO. Remember the definition of love, "share"

moonlight.

Yeah :/

Syňth

Nah. I use people

Aqim

Back to your question, no. I never let anybody use me since I'm not free in other word I have too many works to handle

jonasha

Quote:

Originally posted by Syňth

Nah. I use people

How do you use others?

Abyssy

Quote:

Originally posted by jonasha

Just from my values and self respect, I couldn't do it (even though he's hot as hell). I consider him a friend and I would honestly feel very very used if he just wanted to do something out of curiosity rather than because of his feelings towards me. (even though he's hot as hell, he looks like Jordy Nelson with a more proportional face.

)

Yeah, I understand that. And it might mess up your friendship

. I have feeling though that he probably would have sex with you once or twice and that would be it

.

Maybe you should just be a hoe for a night

.

xox

♚ PRiNCE HiGH ♚

yes, due to the nature of my work