Well if you have the time I'd love to hear about said project if you can talk about it.
How often do you write music ?
I only have two/three songs that semi-complete production,
but I haven't recorded the vocals for them.
And tbh I don't think I'd use them anyways because as an artist,
my sound has changed so much.
I haven't been writing much lately because I've been feeling slightly depressed,
and, sadly, I just haven't felt motivation to do anything.
But I wrote a verse/chorus yesterday and I think it has potential
I think you're onto something with potential here! I do like the atmosphere that you set, it's quite good, and The Gallows itself is really drawing. I think your weakness is being overly blunt. Eg. "Is the end near, will I die here", while rhyming, is just not great. Like, imagine a love song where they line is just bluntly "I love you", it just doesn't add anything and is messy. I think with a little revision you could make this greater. Try to take the lines away from being so straightforward. Especially in a moody song like this, it will make it a lot better. Also the bridge is just pointless, you could write a better one I'm sure.
Post an updated version if you change it!
Quote:
Originally posted by Temporal
So embarrassed of going under? Was this the right word choice?
"This" isn't referring to anything concrete. I get that it's supposed to be referencing the whole situation of being at the gallows, but from a literal standpoint, it's still ambiguous. Does that make sense?
The luck/**** rhyme was kinda corny.
Overall, I really like the topic/metaphor, but it's not developed that well. I feel like it just reiterated the same feelings/ideas so that it became redundant: the second verse doesn't add anything to the first, and the refrain didn't tell me anything I didn't already know or infer. The bridge added a little bit of a new idea or mood with some strength being found, but I felt like it could've been stronger (though I liked the first stanza for its hook). I think that this could tell more of a story - WHY is narrator there, WHO is executing her for example - instead of just saying "I'm at the gallows, I'm gonna die."
thanks guys! I wrote the song back in March in under an hour going along with a simple melody that I came up with on the spot, and the lyrics sorted just flowed. But when I read the song again today before posting I too noted how blunt and coarse it was at parts. I've already started reworking the verses, and I'll be sure to factor in all your advice.
and for the bridge, I went with it because that bit is meant to be lyrically simple, with the focus on the complex harmony of vocals. in game florence welch sings that bit, so I liked the moody vibe her voice along with background vocals would add. but I think I'll refine it a bit so it manages to remain simple, and haunting, but without being underwhelming.
Create A Label doesn't begin until May, so I might end up just posting all the songs I wrote for the album here, so I can get tips and refine them all before the season kicks off perched to snatch AOTY
Whenever I write a song, it's usually out of a random burst of inspiration, and one song could be vastly different from the last thematically, so most of them don't really have an album.
I guess I could make an album based on songs that are similar in tone.
Swan Song (Dark-toned album)
1. Fireflies
2. Imagine Nation
3. Autumn's Tears
4. Some Are Too Beautiful
5, I'll Take You Home
6. Paralysis
7. Don't Give Up On Me Now
8. Bullet For Wensley
9. Love Again
10. To Whom It May Concern
11. Swan Song
About the album
The album deals with loss, fear, self-realization, as well as facing the reality of the world we live in. It opens up on "Fireflies", which is a song about feeling lost in what to do in life, but coming to the realization that only we ourselves can choose what path we want to take.
"Imagine Nation" is a melancholic sort of bitter-sweet song about how the life of a child who, which is said without actually saying, died, inspired those around them to be more imaginative and open minded, like a child would be.
On the topic of death, "Autumn's Tears" is about a woman, Autumn, who notices people around her are dying, which represented by the season of winter. She knows that her own winter is approaching and the thought scares her.
"Some Are Too Beautiful" is another song which deals with death. It's from the POV of someone who feels that the world will never be ready for someone like the person who had died. They were too caring and trusting and it ended up being their downfall.
"I'll Take You Home" is more about the final moments of someone's life, being by their side and helping them feel not so scared when they know that they're passing on soon, from the perspective of someone who has known the person that is passing on for all their life.
However, "Paralysis" shifts the tone from death to fear, as it was inspired by sleep paralysis, though could be taken as a general fear of the unknown and the result of an overactive mind and pessimism.
Then the album goes to "Don't Give Up On Me Now", which is about going through hardships and needed someone to be there for them, rather than "giving up" on them because it's not easy to be around them.
The former track transitions nicely into "Bullet For Wensley", which is a sort of role reversal on the idea. It's from the perspective of someone who wants their lover to not give up on their self (or more specifically, not give their self up), it's the most story-driven song on the album.
In what is like another side to the story, "Love Again" is about wanting your significant other to be able to go on and love somebody else should their be a time when they get forever separated.
The album seems to come full circle around the time "To Whom It May Concern" comes around, and it simultaneously completes the story set a few tracks ago. It's written like a suicide letter.
In the end, "Swan Song" is an ode to a girl who ended up getting beat to death by her parents and ending up becoming part of a choir of angels who sing a "Swan Song" for everyone who dies. With death being a major part of the album, it's only fitting that the album ending on that note.
I wrote this little simple love song called "I used to look down".
Description
This song is about me being drunk and talking to the guy that I like about my messy life and kissing him while were both drunk.
Thinking that he would regret everything in the morning and that he would be just another one who ran away from the living mess that I am.
But he actually didn't. We're now dating and he has proven that he's different from the other guys I've dated.
He says that he would've preferred our first kiss to be different and it would've been better if we were both sober. But I'm actually happy that things happened this way cause it's working for us.
Also the last line is about how he's also different from the other guys I've dated cause they were all shorter than me and he's taller than me, so now I look up to see him instead of looking down, haha, it's a little cheesy but I thought it was a cute detail.
i used to look down
To be another "hello, goodbye"
To be another one that passes by
I wouldn't mind, I wouldn't care
As long as I'm safe and my heart doesn't flare
To keep being the same old party boy
To make you my brand new human toy
I wouldn't mind drinking one more beer
I know we'll kiss and by morning you'll disappear
I'm used to look down
He knows I break every bound
So, how could he want me?
How could you want me?
I used to look down
But he has stepped on my ground
And somehow he wants me
Why do you want me?
To be the one you build and tear apart
To be the one you want to reign your heart
I couldn't ask and I couldn't think
Of a better way to end with my sixth drink
To be the man that is broken and dried
To be that man who is too scared to try
You will not mind and you will not hear
You'll try to calm me and tell me not to fear
I'm used to look down
He knows I break every bound
So, how could he want me?
How could you want me?
I used to look down
But he has stepped on my ground
And somehow he wants me
Why do you want me?
After all
I'm glad all those shots set us free
After all
I'm glad you were taller than me
I wrote something for the first time today since PH7. I haven't really been inspired lately but just put this together kind of quickly. It's different for me because it doesn't really have a regular verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus structure but I like how it turned out. This is just the as-is final draft, I don't think I'll do anything more with it. But here it is. It's called "Thorn".
Thorn
You’re my enigma
Every word you speak is twisted
Wrapped in ivy vines and bricks
To keep the others from your truth
But I resisted
Wasn’t fooled by your illusions
Got too close and now I’m bruised
Your ivy’s poison in my veins
And so I wonder
If there’s any possibility
To save your wilting leaves
Or should I leave you here to die
And shrivel up
God knows I’m better off without you
Second guessing all that I do
But I’ve never been the type
To just give in
This temptation's bittersweet
Close my eyes but I can’t sleep
Know it’s you I must release
Clear this mind that’s full of dreams
You’re resting easy
Think you’re good, ever so unaware
Your roots I dug are showing
Others too followed you down
Into the woods
Although most still see a little dear
Your true intentions now are clear
To some of us who see
Just what you are
Not blinded by your blurry lights
Confusing words, convulsive lies
Your eyes show your true colours
Crimson red
Burned the bridges where we lay
But as I fall I’m unafraid
Because I’ve learned the truth will catch me
Every time
Running out of ways to say
I’ll no longer be your prey
Wicked words won’t work on me
You’ve only won if in a dream
Go lay in your bed
And cover your eyes
Please do tell me all about
You and your lies
Your lack of companion,
Someone’s goodnight kiss,
No one’s hand to hold,
Stories to reminisce?
Your bed made of roses
Has decayed and gone
With no love and affection
All that’s left are thorns
And it took me some time
But I now realise
You will never be anything more
Than a thorn in my side
"I just wanna dance with you tonight
Cause we're both here alone, and we got some time
If we meet again, that'd be alright
But I just wanna dance with you all night"
Me still trying to write "Dance With You" even though I produced it forever ago. I have a lyrical melody to go with the song finally, though! Now it's just writing good lyrics to go with it...
"I saw you dancing from across the room
In the tidal wave of neon blue"
That's the best lyric I have so far imo
EDIT: I have a verse, prechorus, and chorus I am all satisfied with. I just need the second verse and the bridge (which is going to be a rap verse!)
I actually really think this song would be better as a K-Pop song, though! It's stylized perfectly for it.
Fun songwriting fact: The song "Maniac" by Michael Sembello was originally about a killer The lyrics referred to killing a cat and nailing it to the floor. But I think it being turned into a song about dancing made for a better concept!
Only reason I know this is because I've kinda been obsessing over that song lately.
perched to snatch AOTY 
About the album
Coming for that #1 for 7 weeks spot
The lyrics referred to killing a cat and nailing it to the floor. 
But I think it being turned into a song about dancing made for a better concept!