But ye, I was the total token 'gay bestie!' for the last two years of high school. It was just this creepy secret I had cause I jerked off to vids all the time, & then as I got more popular with ladies I was like "I can finally be the cool gay kid our school needs!"
Waking up to how pretty much how all of it was linked to younger bullying, weird ass tension in my house, and looking up to people like Gaga who kept screaming "YOU'RE GAY, YOU'RE GAY, YOU'RE GAY."
But, it wasn't actually true. It felt like it was and I merged it with my identity for like four long ass years, but, it's just not real for me.
I wonder if this happens for other people too.
