Hi, I'd like to have a serious topic, because I rarely get to talk to other black gay people about their experiences. Bigots leave, this is not about you, so don't come in here crying about how you hate all black people because one called you a ****** in the 7th grade.

Anyway, let me give you guys some context on my situation! I'm 20 years old, born in Nigeria but moved to the US when I was 1. I've never really felt CONNECTED to any community as a whole, only certain individuals, because the black people never accepted my being gay, and although I had/have a lot of white surface friends, the cracks in their ideology show themselves often and I question their ACTUAL feelings towards black people and blackness. I'm not sexy enough to be widely acknowledged/accepted by NYC gays.

Anyways, I went through a really rough public school district from 1st-7th grade and a rich ass private school for the rest and NYU now which is crawling with rich yuppies, family friends were either African American families or white people, so I've seen both sides quite clearly and I'm honestly just starting to get angry at how DISGUSTINGLY rampant the homophobia I've encountered has been. NO person of ANY other race has ever looked me in my face and called me a ******, or tried to beat me up without even knowing anything about me just because they think I'm gay. I don't know what to think. I don't want to be bitter and self-hating (even though African =/= African American) but my experience has been so negative. DATING TOO! I hate having reservations about dating black men (granted no black man has ever tried to ACTUALLY date and get to know me. Just random hookups with "DL BROS" or this one guy who I hooked up with that would straight up pretend to hate me to his friends and act like he didn't know what I was talking about in regards to the MULTIPLE past hookups, trying to maintain that he's straight and treat me like I'M the delusional trash) ok I'm gonna stop here because this is turning into an emotional rant and I feel myself getting heated so ya, what about you guys??

Whoops can we move this to lounge?

oooh cyanide got dem problems. gl GURL

im sorry girl. i definitely agree though, some of it is so silent but the attitudes are really troubling, even among youth :/

Theres homophobia is all communities.....did you not see the media coverage on Kim Davis & all her white supporters when she refused to give a couple their marriage license ,?...

Nevertheless, sorry for your experience , but don't generalize please.

Yeah the African-American community can be quite annoying when it comes to homophobia. We're quite religious an stuff like homosexuality is deeply despised. Not to mention the continual struggle of the "family" system and black fathers. Some of this lead to the "downlow"/masc hookup culture. My hometown seem to be half and half tho (like some black guys are like that but other are just normal or fem.) But many in my town/highschool would just laugh or make cruel comments about any black gay guy.
I been called "racist" by a few black gays in my college town after I turned them down. It's weird.

But lord your issues are far greater than mine, Cyanide.

Death, I wish I was generalizing. I honestly never even met non-homophobic black people, guys especially, until my friend that moved to my highschool from Cali in Junior year.

I'm sure this goes on in all communities not just blacks. You just haven't encountered it.

Is this sarcasm?? I'm not trying to be like WOE IS MEEE I just never get to talk about this. I shared my experience so others could feel more welcome to share.

Being Black and gay in America is like living in s fascist state. Their is no love in the community only hate.

How do you deal? This is honestly something I'm just starting to come to terms with emotionally and it makes me feel.... very lost

No sarcasm lol. Comparing my experience to your is just kinda shocking.

And yall saying "stop generalizing" and "other communities do it too" need to chill. This topic isn't really about that. Homopobia in the black community is REAL, widespread and a serious problem that need to be confronted.

At least the government doesn't want your head (literally)...

I reject the community and create my own. I became an atheist and embraced science. It has given me solace and peace f mind. Music and writing stories has also helped it's very therapeutic.

The OP is talking about homophobia in the black community because the OP is homosexual and black. These comments about "dont generalize" and "other races do it too" are irrelevant because he is not a member of those communities.

i dont have a lot of experience with the black community because i grew up around latinos but a lot of DL black guys message me on jackd and other apps and refer to me as n*gga and instead of saying hello, say things like "whats up with you" or something. Its kinda scary. like whats the point of DL men? idk all i hang out with are whites and asians who (speaking from personal experience) are much more gay friendly but from an outsider looking in, it does seem like there is a lot of homophobia in the black community

I don't think it's worse in the Black community. I think that since being black in America is a struggle in itself, the homophobia from other Black people stings worse because we already have to deal with racism from white people so it's a feeling of not being fully accepted anywhere.

me and one of my best friends tried to join this local BLM group and left because one of the rules for being in the group is not being "sexually immoral and against the Black family" which was basically code for "don't be gay." it's sad because with all the racism from white gays, it's hard to want to advocate for black people or gay people because you're really not wanted in either space

Ya, I guess that's really the only choice. I think that from a young age I just looked inward, and stopped trying to "measure up" to the expectations of the outside world because I could never meet them. Chasing authenticity, hope, love, and self-contentment has been my saving grace. I managed to "get out," but I feel so sad for other young gay black people who are stuck in cyclical poverty and cant see the horizons outside out there for them because of the limited views of their community, lack of GOOD education, and lack of understanding.