I've been suffering from low mood for the past few months, it got worse after my great aunt died in January, I haven't got over my grandmother's death either, she died last January, I was so close to her, life is a bitch! I have also been suffering with Social Anxiety as well which makes it much harder.

This.

I've been diagnosed with depression last year and I'm still going through it. Even though medications really helped me (to sleep, feeling less stressed, anxious mostly) one thing actually helped me out a lot, and I encourage you to do it : setting goals.
I've read a lot of self-help books about willpower and building habits, and they helped to make plans so I would want to wake up the next day, I'd have the drive and desire to improve myself. In this process being honest myself, my feelings, and what I wanted to do has been the key (I've had a diary since to keep track). I've been able to work on my issues and improve myself, one step at a time.
Building plenty of habits to keep me healthy so I'd be able to achieve my goals worked best for me.

I've been struggling with depression for a while, and lately I've been in a really good place.

So just off some things you said Elliot, I just want you to know you're most definitely NOT alone. I've been struggling with depression for years, and for a large portion, was smoking so much weed, I didn't even know I was depressed.
It may seem really difficult, but if your friends aren't being responsive to you and your feelings, maybe you should invest in some other friends. I'm not saying dump the ones you have now, but maybe if there are other people in your life who you think might be able to let you be yourself, those are the best people we can find in life.

I read that you said you tried therapy, and you said that maybe it wasn't for you. I really hope you re evaluate your thoughts on that. Therapy can be REALLY difficult, but in my experience (I did 8 months of therapy with one of the most compassionate and intelligent woman I've ever met) it helped me immensely! Sometimes it's just a matter of finding the RIGHT therapist for you. She listened to everything I had to say, and made me feel respected and equal to her.

Some of the ways I've been coping with my depression are:
- I meditate about every day, varying from 10 minutes to 45 minutes depending on how ansy I am. This helps calm my stress levels and as I got more proficient at is has been a great tool to help me reflect on my decisions in life and help regulate my self talk so instead of constantly barraging myself with self-hate, I reframe some of my thoughts to be much more positive and reassuring. Essentially, I try to give myself something my parents had a hard time giving me: love, acceptance, reassurance etc.

In tandem with meditation I do yoga as well. It helps me to stay mindful of my body so when I start getting anxious or nervous or stressed out, I try and find where the emotion is in my body and just sit with it, observing it non judgmentally. It's a difficult thing, but the more I do it, the better I get at it.

I also listen to a podcast called Mental Illness Happy Hour! It's so amazing. It's run by this guy named Paul, and he interviews people about mental illness, helping to lift the stigma off mental illness and sometimes it's just so reassuring and comforting to hear other people, especially adults, who are struggling as well, and there's always nuggets of wisdom that I can carry with me.

I also journal frequently. I force myself to really listen to what I have to say and catch myself being critical or judgmental, and realize that all of the negative things I say to myself came from being raised in a ****** family. But now that I'm 22, I have to take responsibility for all my feelings, and journaling helps me do that.

Sorry for the novel. I'm majoring in Psychology and hoping to become a therapist, so I'm passionate about spreading awareness. I'm sending you and everyone in here struggling lots of love! I hope something I wrote here resonates with you and makes you feel a little less lonely

To everyone in this thread... please get professional help. You'll be shocked at how productive and successful you can be. Shocked at how much you can enjoy things, shocked at how your "old" personality can reappear.

For me, the scariest part was being at such a low point and not realizing anything was wrong. My life changed so much once I started taking medication and seeing a counselor. I still get mild bouts of depression but now I know how to recognize the signs and I know what works for me. Also, never underestimate the power of good sleeping/eating habits

When I'm in my depression state I see the world as it is... It's ****. Nothing I can do, i can't cope, I can't escape it.

Best I can do is accept it. I want people to be happy, to not see the world as it really is. Happiness is just a state of mind. Happiness blinds people.

Depression gives me headaches. Depression makes me angry. Depression helps me see the truth.
Depression tells me I'm ugly.
Depression says what I don't want to hear.

I know next time something life changing happens to me, something awful, I might kill myself.

Honestly, this is exactly what I wanted when I opened this thread, I'm glad you're all sharing with me, It really helps with the lonely feeling and I'm taking alot of this into consideration, Im going to go and see my doctor and possibly go to therapy. I'm at a point in my life where I feel I am way too grown for things that make me depressed.. make me depressed. I want to love life again.

Music is a MASSIVE part of my life and yeah oen of my best friends made an entire playlist on spotify with all my favourite music (nothing depressing ofc) and I listen to that when I feel REALLY bad.