I can just see her follow up DM:
"Hey baby, when are you gonna' get on a diet? Have you ever tried weight watchers, you fat ****?"
"Britney, please! It's a thyroid problem- it's genetic."
"Why don't you run?"
"I have polio. Please, I'm so sorry for lashing out at you! I promise I am a good fan. What can I do to get back in the Army?"
"You need to ****ing jog, *****!"
"But Britney, I'm wearing leg callipers--"
"Yeah, run! Run, bitch!"
The floodgates are open, I'm ready for the mess.