Not Guernica being the oldest

I dont have any real life friends (yet) :/ and I dont really have a "solid"chatmate here

I wanted to kill myself today but it didn't work out. I'm frankly not heartless enough to do it while my dog's here. I asked my aunt to come and get the dog and she sussed out what was happening. She keeps referring me to a crisis line and doesn't seem to understand that it's a decision that I made a long time ago. I have constant headaches, I can't sleep and when I do sleep, I have nightmares or I just wake up and I can't sleep again. It's not that everything's ****, I'm just tired of breathing.

This isn't a cry for attention, I just need to type because it seems that no one's listening to what I'm saying anymore.

If you feel that way..please talk to anyone or sumbody...it HELPS MUCH better! We're listening...good you typed it here.

What's wrong Jay? Don't kill yourself it's really not worth it. Why can't you sleep/always have headaches? Don't give up now...

Ive noticed that a member on this site only posts to shade or drag me. I went through all of his post and he is devoted to dragging me and nothing else on this site

I hope Im not one of them :/ for ya...

I never post in here but if you ever ever need someone to talk to, please PM without any hesitations

why i am always out of these

Im sorry sis..You know me..Im a bit paranoid-ish and I always wall you if I feel if there something wrong

And yeah its good we talked about it! Rather than leaving it..cuz i cant bear to ignore

+1

What the actual ****!

Oh wait, prision? Well it's obvious why i'm not there now.

That's so rich, but apparently, you're not.

Thanks, but that's the main reason as to why I pretend to everyone that everything's fine - online and offline. As soon as I close my front door and turn off this laptop, that's when I most feel at peace with myself. I've taken medication, I've seen doctors, and nothing seems to be working. As Amy once said, it's like I don't have an outlet. I can't sing, play an instrument, write music, I don't drink nor do I do drugs excessively.. I can't even cry anymore. I'm 25 and I feel 45. What am I supposed to do when these doctors diagnose me and say you're not insane yet feel like **** no matter what you do to be happy. Tired.