Tournament: PLATINUM HIT 8 - Page 1083

Temporal

Quote:

Originally posted by Sam

61 is a tragedy, they only scored it low cuz it's Katy. It deserved at least a 75

#Pray4Sam

Moonchild

My PH8 discography as tracks of The Fame Monster:
"Bad Romance" - "Moonstruck"
"Alejandro" - "Lifeblood"
"Monster" - "Dandelion Dreams"
"Speechless" - "Starcrossed"
"Dance in the Dark" - "Masquerade"
"Telephone" - "Living Proof"
"So Happy I Could Die" - "Over the Moon"
"Teeth" - "Devil May Care"

Aurora

Quote:

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays

The **** is a Love Me?

But yay @ this review, even though my bridge is criminally underrated by the judges!

It was the weakest part of the song for me, sorry.

Temporal

Quote:

Originally posted by Sam

It was the weakest part of the song for me, sorry.

First the Prism stanning now this? Sam, henny, love yourself. Buy Halcyon on iTunes. Eat a cupcake.

Aurora

Quote:

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays

#Pray4Sam

There's no denying it deserved to be in the 70's. That's not even that high really. But 61 sounds a lot better than 6.1/10 which is all it is, and the album is not that bad.

I mean don't get me started on Delirium having a 70 score sdajlddla that album deserves like a OOTB or Animal type score.

Moonchild

Quote:

09. Moonchild – Dandelion Dreams
The song itself is written well for the most part and is simple but effective. I like the blades double meaning in the first verse, I like the imagery of “going” like a dandelion in the wind. The ending of the first verse and the beginning of the second were too similar for me and with a short song like this, I would have preferred if you’d had something new to say there. The gone with the wind lyric/reference wasn’t too bad but I could have done with something a little less easy. The bridge is very well executed. I think this was an interesting approach as it’s more of a reflection than a self-portrait, so I question that. But the song was well written for the most part and I did learn more about you/your past.

Thank you for your feedback, Sam! I know it was a bit different to cover a part of my past, but it has contributed to a lot of who I am today. I still think about it and I think the song's a self-portrait, personally.

I get what you mean with the technical aspects, and I'll use those in correcting the song.

Temporal

Quote:

Originally posted by Sam

There's no denying it deserved to be in the 70's. That's not even that high really. But 61 sounds a lot better than 6.1/10 which is all it is, and the album is not that bad.

I mean don't get me started on Delirium having a 70 score sdajlddla that album deserves like a OOTB or Animal type score.

I'd say Prism's score is okay as it is. When it came out I first reviewed it as a B- (67 on MC) but now I'm thinking a 55-60 is more appropriate

Halcyon deserved an upper 70s/80s score easily.
Delirium's score is like right on the money, a little under.
Unsure about Lights, as some of the songs like Believe Me sound dated af.

Moonchild

Born This Way continues to be underrated as an album.

Temporal

Quote:

Originally posted by Moonchild

Born This Way continues to be underrated as an album.

Rolling Stone said it was the 5th best album of 2012 though, queen. BTW really is a great album though, easily ha best

Moonchild

Quote:

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays

Rolling Stone said it was the 5th best album of 2012 though, queen. BTW really is a great album though, easily ha best

Definitely. It's so diverse yet cohesive. It's greater as a whole than the sum of its parts, which is why I think TFM is preferred by some. Still, Hair, HML, EC, TEOG, TQ, Y&I >>>

Truly the album of our generation.

Moonchild

The pure, unbridled EMOTION in Hair and TEOG is so powerful. I wish I could convey that in my writing.

TheCheetahwings

Quote:

Originally posted by Meowster

"I saw visions of my adolescence / My glossy eyes of viridescence," yes, love this line. I like how you manage to fit these lesser known objects into your prose here, they do feel natural, whereas a lot of the time such insertions can feel abrupt or sudden. This particular song tells me about the pensiveness of your thoughts, your wonder, gleaming for understanding. It's a very strong song and I enjoyed how you wrote it.

I'm glad you liked the song & the words I used and that it didn't feel forced

I really appreciate it

Quote:

Originally posted by Sam

03. TheCheetahwings – Essence Of My Adolescence
I have a lot of things to say but I’ll try to keep it brief. I loved the effort you put into this, I can see that you’re trying to experiment with structure, I can see that you’re trying to experiment with language, and I love that. However this challenge was all about getting your self-perception to translate and I think a little bit of that was lost in all of the impressive but extraneous vocabulary flaunting. The main things I got from your song are that you like big words and crystals and I don’t think that was your intention. This isn’t really a negative though, I think this is an important step. You’ve got these things down now, the next step is knowing when it’s appropriate to use them and being a bit more sporadic with the fancy skills. I do think what you’ve submitted is impressive and your score will reflect that, but I have to take the challenge into account and I don’t think you translated yourself as well as you perhaps could have if you’d just kept it a bit simpler. But you still did well.

I'm glad you liked the effort that I put into it

But yeah it definitely seems like in the mix of trying to experiment with language/structure/etc. the meaning behind the song got lost & didn't come through very well. But I'm glad you liked the song despite this.

Moonchild

I've had enough. This is my prayer: that I'll die living just as free as my hair!

ughgabriel

Quote:

01. ughgabriel – Water Bones
From a technical standpoint, I think there were a few familiar phrases that weren’t really necessary (heart of gold, the king references) and some of the rhymes were a little simple. There was a lot of improvement overall in these two areas though, particularly how you ended some stanzas on a non-rhyme. The chorus was the best part for me because it was free of familiarity and “water bones” idea was something unique and it had a strong meaning. There were a few more easy and unnecessary rhymes in the bridge (I didn’t like crown/gown much). As far as the challenge goes you let us into a part of your life that wasn’t too intrusive nor evasive so I think you had the right balance there. Overall you did well.

Thank you, Sam!
I think you're the only one who thought the chorus was the best part of the song, and I really appreciate that cause that's what I was trying to do when I was writing the song!
However I do have to work with originality on my lyrics so thank you for pointing that out. I hope to make a better work (if I make it to) next week!

Aurora

Quote:

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays

I'd say Prism's score is okay as it is. When it came out I first reviewed it as a B- (67 on MC) but now I'm thinking a 55-60 is more appropriate

Halcyon deserved an upper 70s/80s score easily.
Delirium's score is like right on the money, a little under.
Unsure about Lights, as some of the songs like Believe Me sound dated af.

nn obviously we like different artists so naturally we'll have different opinions.

Now that I think about it, I actually gave Delirium a 70 based on my SamScore reviews, so the Metascore is "exactly" what I think it should be, but like I said when I reviewed the album, I didn't really like it all that much outside of a few highlight tracks and I really doubt I'll ever listen to it in full again, so a 60-ish score would be more appropriate for me. Whereas I listened to PRISM so, so much.

I can still listen to it all the way though and love every song, well almost.

If I had to adjust Katy's scores they'd probably be something like:

One Of The Boys – 62
Teenage Dream – 71
PRISM – 75

The current scores are just

I know they're not the most amazing albums in the world but I do think their scores are really harsh, especially in comparison to some pop albums.

Hugamari

I'd rather listen to Prism than Delirium, as someone who actually listened to both albums. Shocking considering I never listen to albums. Prism got old really fast, but at least I wanted to give it more than one spin.

Aurora

PRISM was such a grower for me. I wasn't convinced with the second half AT ALL at first but it really grew on me.

Aurora

According to last.fm I've listened to PRISM all the way through 36 times. I thought it would be more actually.

Gladion

Pretty good comments, I think I was gotskills 4 though

Vulnicura

Quote:

I think your word choice made this feel less personal...like it was very intricate. To me, it was like your word choices were meant to be distracting so we couldn't really get the full picture. Maybe that's just you and I'm too stupid to understand that. An ironic way to end this commentary, but I liked some of your word choices from a general sense - "i’ll dance within my duality" being my favorite line.

at the risk of sounding defensive, I don't really get this? I dont understand if you mean in terms of language it was too intricate, or what I was saying was too abstract. I like to think that my entry this week, especially in comparison to previous weeks, was very "teenage" and plain and I really tried to tone down the pretentious feel of my song.

Quote:

10. Vulnicura – Borders
I can tell this was a personal song for you, and that it shows a lot about who you are as a person and as a writer, but I was finding it a bit hard to grasp a few parts of the song. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand the song, but I couldn’t emotionally connect and relate to it like I did to other songs. I’m glad you found a relieving way to express your emotions, and that definitely shows, but sometimes in writing a song this personal it becomes less relatable to your audience. Perhaps the language was also a bit too technical to really be felt emotionally in my opinion. I loved the outro, however, especially the bit about being alone together, and the line “they say the mother is the first love… an emotion not easily found in the father”.

i see, thanks! yeah I didn't really get how to express something that is purely myself whilst it somehow being relatable enough to everyone... so I kinda just did away with it. what language did you think was technical? I'm really surprised it's being brought up tbh.

Quote:

I liked the topic you chose for this song - something that was very personal and brought out some inspired work from you. My favorite section was the beginning of verse two, "they say the mother is the first other / a soft touch, an innocent love / an emotion not easily found in the father / a living union of their distant harmony" something that you were rather blunt and forthcoming with that. I felt like I really got a sense of you within your writing and within the quality of the work that you gave, thus succeeding our challenge.

thank you meowster.

Quote:

The thing I found most interesting about your song is that it made me think, it made me question, things, life, what togetherness is. I liked that. The second verse, does this talk about you being raised in a single parent environment? It felt like a Vulnicura song because it was interesting and non-predictable and I do feel like I learned a bit more about who you are and your outlook on life.

"It felt like a Vulnicura song because it was interesting and non-predictable"

this is exactly what I want to hear

I like to think after 8 challenges I've sorta developed my own style now. thanks Sam!

overall I think I've had a very middling week with no one particularly connecting with my song, which is fine! I'm mostly happy with what I submitted.