Tournament: PLATINUM HIT 8 - Page 1041

swiftie13

Quote:

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays

2 is Conatus

Obviously

8thPrince

Quote:

Originally posted by Achilles.

Girl, why?

I need to be as inclusive as possible if I'm gonna say something was the "worst' or "best" of the year

Temporal

Quote:

Originally posted by 8thPrince

I need to be as inclusive as possible if I'm gonna say something was the "worst' or "best" of the year

How long is that going to take you though?

Also, I need to work on my paper so if you see me here again before 9:30ish tell me to **** off

Vulnicura

If the hints are based on favorite lyrics, then #2 is Element I think, if they were talking about canopies! #3 idk

8thPrince

Quote:

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays

How long is that going to take you though?

Also, I need to work on my paper so if you see me here again before 9:30ish tell me to **** off

Well most songs are average so for a best or worst list I only need to hear like 20 seconds and it makes the lists if it really hooks me OR it offends me greatly.

swiftie13

Quote:

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays

How long is that going to take you though?

Also, I need to work on my paper so if you see me here again before 9:30ish tell me to **** off

Ban yourself

Achilles.

Quote:

Originally posted by 8thPrince

I need to be as inclusive as possible if I'm gonna say something was the "worst' or "best" of the year

You're trying to be inclusive, so you exclude the entire country genre?

Not that I blame you. The radio in that format only plays about six artists of any substance, and even then they generally don't perform very well.

8thPrince

Quote:

Originally posted by Achilles.

You're trying to be inclusive, so you exclude the entire country genre?

Not that I blame you. The radio in that format only plays about six artists of any substance, and even then they generally don't perform very well.

Yeah my worst list would be 90% country and urban ac had I included them so I excluded them in the interests of a list that's not boring as ****

ughgabriel

Hm, I don't think mine's there...

swiftie13

Is Utada's The Workout about an orgy?

Element

My song is written from the perspective of a forest creature, commenting on deforestation, so I could be #2

Vulnicura

MattyTacos

Quote:

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays

How long is that going to take you though?

Also, I need to work on my paper so if you see me here again before 9:30ish tell me to **** off

I'll tell you to **** off anyways.

swiftie13

Quote:

Originally posted by Element

My song is written from the perspective of a forest creature, commenting on deforestation, so I could be #2

So you're #2!

Lovesong, may you confim pls

swiftie13

Crap, I have a final tomorrow and I forgot to study. Bye!

Dylobs

Will we get any comments today

Aurora

I need to write mine still (

) but yes!

MattyTacos

I think I'm about to stan for Kylie Minogue.

Put Yourself In My Place currently giving me LIFE

Gladion

Aurora

Meowster's Comments

Quote:

01. swiftie13 – Clearest Blue
Clearest Blue is a song that uses it's plentiful and colorful nature to create images and feelings. The direct statements are filled with sensual undertones of discovery. I particularly like the structure of the pre-chorus and chorus - the way that long thoughts are echoed by two short phrases ("thanks to you/spring has bloomed again"). Syntax like this really helps make a song stand out.

For the challenge, I can really see the experimentation with the structure, as said before. It fit contextually and added to your song. There is so much feeling with your word play, several abstract thoughts and comparisons, that I feel really help bring out the right emotion.

02. ughgabriel – Visitor
My favorite line of this song is the final answer to the idea that the bridge has been telling us: "everything seems just like the first day/the sun never felt so bright/what a shame it melted us away." The verses and bridge were both stronger with their images and purpose than the chorus but I enjoyed the questioning that exists within it.

I see a lot of growth in here from two challenges ago. Phrases compare and contrast, rhyming feels rather than tells. You experimented with your structure by swapping the ABABCB or ABC (verse/chorus/verse/chorus/bridge/chorus) format that is so prevalent and common within songwriting. The song felt thoughtful and genuine.

03. Dylobs – Tainted Youth
Tainted Youth lives up to it's title. The song is a figure yearning to protect the adolescence within from the emerging harsh realities of our existence. Nature becomes less inviting, the abstract colliding. The "I" perspective really helps with the feeling and connection of the song to others. My favorite part of the song was the hook: "The sublime landscape now a harsh, muddy terrain/It makes it hard to believe my soul will remain."

You've stuck to a concept here, in the form of childhood, and you play with your language to seek ways to preserve it. You do this with sophisticated language, as if you are an adult looking after their child (their inner child in this instance). It works well with the selection.

04. UFO – Playboy
This felt like possibly your strongest work in the challenges so far. "You took me like a bird, I'm your prey" is so immediately satisfying. It sets up a perfect response and sets the mood for the rest of the song. You follow the next stanza with "I chase you through the rain, I still pray." There is such great and clever wordplay throughout this song and that is only the beginning. I don't have much to say other than it was very, very strong.

You've experimented with different formats, such as throwing a reprise, and while the song is a bit lengthy, I don't ever feel as if it drags or tells anything unneeded. Every word counts and all of the emotion hinges on the masterful uses of imagery and metaphor throughout your song.

05. Achilles. – This Place I Call Home
My favorite part of this song is the order to your text. It matches the song's topic of familiarity and structure that a home provides. It is six syllables throughout, unflinching, harsh but undoubtedly true. The interesting part here is that the tone is in conflict with the syntax (this is good). You're questioning order while still following it, wondering whether to leave the very place that gives you safety.

You experiment with structure through fine-tuning the consistency of each line. By using this concept, you play it double through the different meanings that come from your syntax and the meanings that come from your word play and imagery. One of the strongest selections for the specific challenge.

06. Vulnicura – Matutinal
This was an interesting and thought provoking idea for your song. Thank you for the background information, you can see Bjork's influence within this selection. It's a style of songwriting that really appeals to me but I can also feel a bit of your distinct touch to it as well. I love the juxtaposition of the long and abstract thoughts of the verses versus the firm, short, and personal message within the chorus.

You took a familiar concept and inverted it. I think it is just fine to create a song in tribute to another artist and I feel like you did this without it coming up as copycat or theft. In fact, if anything, it gave a different look to what possibly could have been. You played with your syntax and structure, such as with the difference between the verses and chorus.

07. Moonchild – Moonstruck
I liked the theme of this, it felt very late Cher-esque to me, elements of dance pop but a little bit dreamy with the word choices and such. The bridge was my favorite part of your selection, particularly the initial two lines. The song was short with a bigger vocabulary used throughout, which I felt was a cool choice.

You used a lot of different elements of different challenges to showcase your growth and I believe it showed. You stuck to a theme with moonstruck and exploring the theme with your word choices and images, nothing seeming out of place and used in a meaningful manner. Your phrases are short but you use intellectual and slightly dreamy language throughout, an interesting choice that I enjoyed.

08. Buyonce1814 – Out of Reach
I always enjoy a good meta piece and actually, I felt like this was one of your strongest selections. Sometimes writer's block allows us to see things a little more abstract than we normally would. I love what you did with your chorus, it answers itself well and flows strongly, driving home your theme.

There was good improvement within here, you followed a set theme (complacency/finding motivation) and you used questions and word play to achieve and nourish that. You made the most with your words, using a lot of repetition, but by using them, you find new questions and answers with them. There was a lot to like here. Good job.

09. MattyTacos – Feels Like Home
This was so sad but heartwarming at the same time. It felt like there was a strange structure to this which I enjoyed - it followed a regular verse/chorus format but it felt very conversational, it was enjoyable and different from most songs that choose to be more abstract. My favorite personal part of the song was your bridge; it effortlessly complimented the earlier verses and inverted them, showing glimpses of a more promising future from someone who had previously lost everything, suggesting that hope can always remain alive.

The song stuck to a specific theme, a boy seeking and finding hope, and through your choices and the pathos you pull through your verses and bridge, it really packs an emotional punch to the reader. The repetition you choose to use really helps with the parallelism that goes on in here. Really great entry.

10. ClarksonSlays – Butterfly Lies
It can get a bit saccharine but that's par the course for Broadway. Good job on trying something different than what you are used to. The slight differences in each chorus are such a stable with musical theater, as they typically tell a story in their small timeframe, and I believe that was achieved here. It's short and simple but it developed into a nice story of unrequited love.

I think doing something fresh and unique to these showed some of the growth you've achieved throughout this entire run. You adapted to an unfamiliar style well and I always appreciate our writers trying something new.

11. 8thPrince – Dizzying Heights
My favorite part of this song was the pre-chorus. I honestly would have made the pre-chorus your actually chorus - it felt stronger and had a really great flow and style to it. Not to say that I dislike the current chorus. The bridge feels like an echo of the pre-chorus and I really like both it and it's placement in the song.

I can see that you've played with the structure and syntax of your song - lines are separated by their thoughts, echoing and finishing each other adequately. You experimented with your language, as seen as words like "cerulean" though I think you could have took this to the next level and expanded on it.

12. TheCheetahwings – Masquerade
I liked the story you told with this song. There were some really great and strong rhymes within here, such as "your love was a charade/a deceptive masquerade." Other rhymings didn't always work as strongly for me. But there was a lot of unique experimentation with structure in this song and I really enjoyed you playing around the order of things. Love the outro.

The use of structure was the most standout part of this challenge. You went all out, beginning with the chorus, delving into another chorus, a reversal compared to the norm. The succinct and shortness of the style really worked with this as well, you made every word count and stayed close to the theme of this challenge.

13. Element – Sylvan Voice
Mm, the language to your song really spoke to me. It's so wordy but you really have a knack for making everything come together instead of being random stand outs. There were a lot of very beautiful descriptions and metaphors within here but my favorite was "voices glide between the trees," it's such a gorgeous visual and sounds wonderful off the tongue. The forlorness to the tone gives an edge to the beauty of your descriptions, making it rather pointed, which I appreciate and love.

This was a different format than most songs. It doesn't follow the standard order that is found within most music that is made today - excellent playfulness with the structure and order. More abstract than most. You tied your words and images to the title, as well as using more varied and eloquent language to the song. Well done.

14. HausofNiko – Bet You Wish
Well, that was a little bit gruesome. I think the level of detail here was just a little bit too much. At the same time, it did stay and build to the central theme of the song, telling a story of passionate revenge.

There were some nice modern allusions here, like Krampus to your Christmas, and some of the rhyming choices you chose were pretty sweet: "if hating me is your condition/then ending you is my mission," for example. You definitely conveyed a feeling of horror in the revenge tale you tell through the imagery and details.