...when GLAMOUR Woman of the Year, Caitlyn Jenner was asked what is the hardest thing about being a woman, her answer was enough to make my pelvic floor clamp shut;
'The hardest part of being a woman is figuring out what to wear.'
Whip me round the head with a Wimpy Bender Burger (£4.85 in participating restaurants) and squirt ketchup in my eyes! Anything to numb the pain of being loosely the same gender as Cait.
'It's not that Glamour honoured a transgender person … but when Mr Jenner said the hardest thing about being a woman was figuring out what to wear he proved he is not truly a woman.'
Today it emerged that Caitlyn is also a nominee for Time magaine's Person of the Year 2015 - alongside Donald Trump and Angela Merkel for their impact on the news over the course of the year.
Caitlyn may have occupied the news agenda. But for what? A corset on the front cover of Vanity Fair? Her facial feminisation surgery?
Now, I don't care what you want to be in life. I'm not in the slightest bit offended if a man believes he was born a woman or Cara Delvigne wants to be fashionably lesbian. You can live your life in drag, believe you are Jesus, sew a penis on your head and call yourself Marjorie—I couldn't care less.
Some of the best-looking men I know are drag queens. They have better legs than Caitlyn or me AND a better sense of humour.
Many have been alienated by their friends, ostracised from their homes or thrown out by people who only loved them as they were. So they became fabulous instead.
But Caitlyn is cocooned from all of that in her Kardashian-shaped bubble. She has hurdled years of transphobia to transition when alternative is the new norm, scooping up awards and accolades along the way courtesy of her Kardashian pedigree.
It even saved her from prosecution after a car crash when one lady died. Sued by three families involved for careless driving, Cait was more concerned she would end up in an all male prison than for the family of the 69 year old lady who was rammed head first into oncoming traffic.
Caitlyn, women are better than this,
The hardest thing I do as a woman is work away from my children each week. When people ask about it and seem confused I say I work like a husband. I fight my corner to work like a man every day.
Other women do far braver things; whether that is raising a child with complex needs, standing shoulder to shoulder with their husband to defend his honour (even when you are going to kill him when you get home) or looking after a parent with dementia.
We quietly transform the lives of others as a condition of motherhood, womanhood, childhood.
We are so much more than our hair, our dress, our makeup
or how flat our pubic bone looks in swimwear.
Caitlyn. You were an Olympic athlete. As a man you were exceptional.
But you cannot be Woman of the Year JUST for becoming one.
You need to do something, be something.
You transformed into a woman. Now you need to do something transformative with your life as well
This is the first time I agree with Katie Hopkins.
Watch more of her interviews and learn more. At first I thought she was insufferable, but she's actually rather hilarious. Especially if you don't take her seriously, and as the professional troll that she is. She deserves an Oscar, Emmy, etc.
