Not sure if a thread like this has been made, just thought we'd have a thread to vent into and have people that might know what you are going through to give you some advice.

I'll start, so I've had a crush on one of my best friends for some time now, he's straight (I know I know) and he thinks I'm straight (I know I know) and last week to celebrate the end of our exams the entire squad went to a strip club for a celebratory night out, and he was sitting across from me from the table in the club and even when we had three dancers on the table writhing about naked he kept looking at me, like staring right into my eyes (but I brushed it off, thinking I was imagining things). Later in the evening, we decided to crash at my house as it was closer to the club and me and him ended up having to share my room (God knows why), so then he strips into his boxers and is getting ready for bed and of course at this moment I am dying because if Apollo & Adornis ever existed this was him, so then he starts talking about how turned on he was by the strippers when they were touching on their VJJs as he was washing up his face in the bathroom and at that time I pretended to sleep so that he would stop talking and I could live my fantasy, so by the time he came out of the bathroom, I was lying there with nothing but my boxers (I mean we are experiencing a heatwave so you've got to be almost naked and let the aircon do its work)

So there I was on the bed modelling from HtoT, with my lips slightly parted trying to be one of those people that are so sexy when they sleep, and I heard him stop talking when he realised I was asleep, and he turned of the lights and jumped onto the bed and the next thing I hear him say is, gosh you look so good and then he just kissed me, so at this time I was startled of course opened my eyes and pushed him away and then asked him wtf he is doing, then I stormed out of the room and decided to sleep on the couch downstairs, the next morning **** was hella awkward, he was just being rude and was screaming at everyone that had parked their cars behind and around his to come remove his cars so that he could leave (asap!).

I didn't talk to him for about 4 days and then yesterday I got a text from him asking if we should meet up and talk and then maybe go to a club and pick up some girls and that he misses us being really good friends and that he messed up because he kind of 'likes me' but didn't know how I'd react but he just wants us to put this behind us and move on, and then another one saying that he must've read the signs wrong because he thought I kinda liked him as well because sometimes I say stupid still like 'I could kiss you right now' whenever he does me a favour or anything (to my defence I say this to everyone of my friends and we all say it back. Just stupid banter)

Now the real dilemma is that I've been miserable these past 5 days, I honestly think I'm falling for this guy so bad, like when he didn't talk for 4 days I was a wreck, obsessing like a little girl and holding back from texting him. Like I want to be with him soooo bad, the only problem is that I've been through this before, not sure if anyone remembers but almost 2 years ago I started hooking up with my best friends out of nowhere like this and we ended up having this really weird and twisted affair (we both had gf's at the time) and the last 6 months of our relationship we both decided to break up with our respective significant others and be together exclusive but without telling anyone, not even a soul. So to everyone we were best friends single and ready to mingle but when we were alone we were in heaven, until it all fell apart and we just ended things so badly and I lost the love of my life and my best friend and tbh I'm still bitter about it and everytime I see or his name I feel like I can't breathe. So now that me and the Greek god became really close this year, it's as if he's taken that other ones place and we've become super close and I don't know why this keeps happening to me but I feel like I'm in the same position as I was before.

So atrl what do you think? I take the plunge and go for it, lay my cards on the table and tell him how I really feel and see where this goes or just brush it off and then watch him hook up with a tonne of girls (or maybe boys in secret, who knows) forever?

This is why we need the Blogs section back.

YES

I feel for you though. You have that doubt in your gut that tells you no but your mind says yes and it just gets conflicting every time you revisit that situation

We need the blogs back

I hope you feel better
I wanna share but I'll do it tomorrow

You're a good story teller. I read the whole post.

I think you should tell him. Or rather, I would in this situation.

Just tell him what you really feel. You know he wants you as well.

Yeah, everything before he started distancing himself led me to believe he liked you.

Thank you both. Tbh I am not worried about him liking me, I think I know he does, I've been through a similar situation. What I'm really afraid of is what if it doesn't work out? What if it does, but only for a few months maybe a year and then it all ends up badly again. Not sure if that's a risk I want to take.

Take a gamble. It would hurt like hell if it didn't work out, but you'll find someone better.

You can't be scared of going into relationships for the rest of your life in the fear that they may not end well. If you do you could just end up pushing everyone aside and staying on your own.

I'm certain from what I've gotten from your story that he's interested in you and, since things are weird as it is, you might as well take the plunge and go for him.

Arg so i talked to him and guess what?, he copped out and said that he doesn't know what he was thinking that night and that it tustve been the strippers that got him all horned up and stuff and that he doesn't know why he said that he liked me or that i gave him signals or whatever.and I played it cool and just said OK. So that settleD that

or at least i thought, after our awkward conversation our 2 other friends came through and we ubered, i ended up sitting in the middle and him on my left and on our way to the gig we were headed I swear he started stroking on my leg while still having a conversation with everyone else and i didn't even flinch, not once (of course I loved it) and a little while later he was holding my hand and staring out the window as if nothing was happening, so now we at the gig (I've gone to the bathroom for too long now) and he's basically humping this one girl on the dance floor and I swear he keeps stealing glances at me, what kind of childish games are these?