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Tournament: PLATINUM HIT 8
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 12/2/2010
Posts: 17,916
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Quote:
Originally posted by Witch_Privilege
OMG. I didn't even think of that. You and Meowster's names were the hard ones, so I didn't bother. I was going to do a cat reference for Meowster, but that would have been too much effort, and more forced than this song already was.
Thank you for finding this humor in this ridiculous song. I actually do like the songs on your Soundcloud.
I'm not a spitter, and I'm certainly not a quitter! I wasn't going to bother giving y'all one of my personal songs, since I was going to be eliminated. I decided to go out swinging, instead.
Thanks. 
I guess the best shade is undetectable. 
 Platinum Hit
Verse 1:
I'm a city boy and you're a mountain man
You're as outdated as Uncle Sam.
You try hard to show you've got skill
But you always leave me without a thrill.
Pre-Chorus 1:
Thinking you're as bright as a supernova
But you bubble under, then you're over
Chorus:
I'll remain as the number one
My reign has just begun
I'm a platinum hit
And you're certified woodchip.
Verse 2:
You're all the makings of a love song.
But only one that's gone all wrong.
Like a modern day horror story.
Way past the peak of your glory.
Pre-Chorus 2:
You're just the receptionist
I'm the Olympic Gold Medalist
Chorus:
I'll remain as the number one
My reign has just begun
I'm a platinum hit
And you're certified woodchip.
Bridge:
You're down under, with no thunder
You have no intrigue so no wonder.
You're done and through, you're nothing new
That's why I would never dance with you
Chorus:
I'll remain as the number one
My reign has just begun
I'm a platinum hit
And you're certified woodchip.
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I'm cackling! 
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Wait what the **** I didn't know you knew GotSkill so well 
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Member Since: 1/20/2012
Posts: 27,830
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Quote:
Originally posted by Witch_Privilege
OMG. I didn't even think of that. You and Meowster's names were the hard ones, so I didn't bother. I was going to do a cat reference for Meowster, but that would have been too much effort, and more forced than this song already was.
Thank you for finding this humor in this ridiculous song. I actually do like the songs on your Soundcloud.
I'm not a spitter, and I'm certainly not a quitter! I wasn't going to bother giving y'all one of my personal songs, since I was going to be eliminated. I decided to go out swinging, instead.
Thanks.
I guess the best shade is undetectable.
Platinum Hit
Verse 1:
I'm a city boy and you're a mountain man
You're as outdated as Uncle Sam.
You try hard to show you've got skill
But you always leave me without a thrill.
Pre-Chorus 1:
Thinking you're as bright as a supernova
But you bubble under, then you're over
Chorus:
I'll remain as the number one
My reign has just begun
I'm a platinum hit
And you're certified woodchip.
Verse 2:
You're all the makings of a love song.
But only one that's gone all wrong.
Like a modern day horror story.
Way past the peak of your glory.
Pre-Chorus 2:
You're just the receptionist
I'm the Olympic Gold Medalist
Chorus:
I'll remain as the number one
My reign has just begun
I'm a platinum hit
And you're certified woodchip.
Bridge:
You're down under, with no thunder
You have no intrigue so no wonder.
You're done and through, you're nothing new
That's why I would never dance with you
Chorus:
I'll remain as the number one
My reign has just begun
I'm a platinum hit
And you're certified woodchip.
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Member Since: 1/4/2014
Posts: 6,751
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Meowster
Quote:
14. RihsusChrist(ATG) – The Tragic Ballad of Paula Deen
First the title got me cackling and then I actually read the song. There were occasional glimpses of cleverness, a true mockery of Miss Deen that I can totally imagine within the confines of a bluegrass narrative. Your rhyming here was hysterical, “the tale of a racist southern Queen.” Your narrative fit the word limit of our challenge though it was difficult for me to take seriously.
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At least you got it, praise Jesus...at least one of the judges has a lick of sense! 
Contrary to what the judges may think, my entry was serious. I could hear Mumford and Sons doing a song like that...yes it's satirical, but it's no different then Eminem when he makes satirical comments about celebrities in his songs. I didn't realize a song had to be a certain "way" in this competition...I must of missed that memo. 
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Member Since: 9/18/2011
Posts: 5,330
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YAS at Meowster and GotSkill stanning, I might survive.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 12,615
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kladklaldal @ cackling at Platinum Diss I would've given it a 3 tbh it's cute
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Member Since: 2/7/2014
Posts: 3,371
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GotSkill gave me my first negative review in this game. 
It's okay tho, just 1/5 judge and letting me know that my songs aren't perfect. There's obviously room to make them better.
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Member Since: 2/26/2012
Posts: 23,655
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Quote:
Originally posted by Witch_Privilege
OMG. I didn't even think of that. You and Meowster's names were the hard ones, so I didn't bother. I was going to do a cat reference for Meowster, but that would have been too much effort, and more forced than this song already was.
Thank you for finding this humor in this ridiculous song. I actually do like the songs on your Soundcloud.
I'm not a spitter, and I'm certainly not a quitter! I wasn't going to bother giving y'all one of my personal songs, since I was going to be eliminated. I decided to go out swinging, instead.
Thanks.
I guess the best shade is undetectable.
Platinum Hit
Verse 1:
I'm a city boy and you're a mountain man
You're as outdated as Uncle Sam.
You try hard to show you've got skill
But you always leave me without a thrill.
Pre-Chorus 1:
Thinking you're as bright as a supernova
But you bubble under, then you're over
Chorus:
I'll remain as the number one
My reign has just begun
I'm a platinum hit
And you're certified woodchip.
Verse 2:
You're all the makings of a love song.
But only one that's gone all wrong.
Like a modern day horror story.
Way past the peak of your glory.
Pre-Chorus 2:
You're just the receptionist
I'm the Olympic Gold Medalist
Chorus:
I'll remain as the number one
My reign has just begun
I'm a platinum hit
And you're certified woodchip.
Bridge:
You're down under, with no thunder
You have no intrigue so no wonder.
You're done and through, you're nothing new
That's why I would never dance with you
Chorus:
I'll remain as the number one
My reign has just begun
I'm a platinum hit
And you're certified woodchip.
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OMG this is GOLD
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Member Since: 1/4/2014
Posts: 6,751
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Quote:
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THE TRAGIC BALLAD OF PAULA DEEN
Pre-Chorus
Paula Deen, she so mean
What comes out of her mouth is quite obscene
She's like a leper, most unclean
But she can sure can make a tasty praline
Chorus
Here is a story most unforseen
The tale of a racist southern Queen
Turns black folks stomachs green
The tragic ballad of Paula Deen
Verse
Paula had a cooking empire
And a TV show, she was on fire
She had to go to court, make a deposition
Simple enough, easy proposition
Verse 2
Paula made a fatal error
One she'd come to regret, oh the terror
She said she used the N word, which wasn't very clever
Then lost her cooking show forever
Pre-Chorus
Chorus
Spoken Ending (in over the top Paula Deen voice)
We got a job, the wardrobe is quite nifty
Y'all gonna dress like it's 1850
Blacky, quit yo bitchin'
Get back in that kitchen
Best behave, you once upon a slave
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Now I said I was going to post my entry ^ to see what everybody else thinks.
I mean it's no "Video Games" mind you, but I don't think it deserved the harshness it got from all but 1 of the judges.
They are quite stodgy if they can't get that type of song.
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Member Since: 8/6/2015
Posts: 18,803
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Hugamari
Quote:
30. Dylobs – The Only One
I think it's cute how creatively you danced around the word limit. But other than that, I didn't seem to find something that really captured my interest in the song. I do want to point out, though, in the bridge: "...nothing strong" seems a bit off. I am going to overlook that, though - maybe "...something gone" was almost too easy to use there, and you avoided it for that reason. I personally wouldn't have said anything about it, though!
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Sam
Quote:
30. Dylobs – The Only One
Looks like we’ve finally found the “heaven/religion” of Season 8, “lies” (or is it “chains”? I can’t keep up)! This was a good entry because if you’re going to take a subject which is so exhausted you need to put a new spin on it, and you did that. It’s sort of like Katy’s “It Takes Two” in the way you accept responsibility for being at fault as well. I liked that angle. The chorus is good and I like the second verse a lot, whereas the first verse is a little predictable. But that’s not so bad considering it appears to be a regular “you’re a liar!!1” type song until the pre-chorus. You’ve got a good natural sense of rhythm and while there’s room for improvement, I think if you do keep improving week after week you can go far. This is a good start.
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GotSkill
Quote:
Dylobs – The Only One
This reminds me of Katy’s It Takes Two in a good way. This was a solid break up song. However, I could wish for a bit more in the story and imagery of the song.
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Meowster
Quote:
30. Dylobs – The Only One
I loved the storyline this song told to us about the blame and guilt that are shared during the end of a relationship. Your chorus is very developed and strong. It is simple but sometimes simplicity is just enough. The Only One has satisfied the word limit within this challenge.
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lovesong
Quote:
30. Dylobs – The Only One
The concept was a little boring for me. It would have been really great if you experimented and tried something new and creative. The actual songwriting was also just kind of okay, a bit too simple to really get the point across.
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The comparisons to It Takes Two  Alas. I'm not sure what heaven/religion thing Sam is referring to but overall the criticisms are fair. If I'm still in, it'll probably be by the skin of my teeth.
The Only One
[Verse1]
Once again I've caught out your lies,
lies you've said so frequently.
Said you cared enough about us
but now I know it's up to me
[Hook]
for now I cannot only blame you
I must now accept I need to
[Chorus]
concede it must be over
need to say that we are done
although you have been unfaithful
I can't say you're the only one
[Verse2]
We go back to playing the blame game
say I shouldn't dare point the finger
tell me you saw my wondering eyes
and the touch of mine that lingered
[Hook]
Although, there's so much I can blame on you
I must now accept I need to
[Chorus]
concede it must be over
need to say that we are done
although you have been unfaithful
I can't say you're the only one
[Bridge]
I know it's true
I've lied to you
Been holding on
To nothing strong
in hopes I'll say
we'll pass these day
But the lies we've shared
are more than I can bear.
I must
[Chorus]
concede it must be over
need to say that we are done
although you have been unfaithful
I can't say you're the only one
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 22,001
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Rihsus i would of given you a 10/10
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Certified woodchip  in the Kelly receipts thread I have Invincible listed as 2x Woodchip 
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 14,512
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dylobs
Hugamari
Sam
GotSkill
Meowster
lovesong
The comparisons to It Takes Two Alas. I'm not sure what heaven/religion thing Sam is referring to but overall the criticisms are fair. If I'm still in, it'll probably be by the skin of my teeth.
The Only One
[Verse1]
Once again I've caught out your lies,
lies you've said so frequently.
Said you cared enough about us
but now I know it's up to me
[Hook]
for now I cannot only blame you
I must now accept I need to
[Chorus]
concede it must be over
need to say that we are done
although you have been unfaithful
I can't say you're the only one
[Verse2]
We go back to playing the blame game
say I shouldn't dare point the finger
tell me you saw my wondering eyes
and the touch of mine that lingered
[Hook]
Although, there's so much I can blame on you
I must now accept I need to
[Chorus]
concede it must be over
need to say that we are done
although you have been unfaithful
I can't say you're the only one
[Bridge]
I know it's true
I've lied to you
Been holding on
To nothing strong
in hopes I'll say
we'll pass these day
But the lies we've shared
are more than I can bear.
I must
[Chorus]
concede it must be over
need to say that we are done
although you have been unfaithful
I can't say you're the only one
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I actually love it
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Platinum Hit should've gotten a ten, the judges done messed up with that gem 
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Oh my god I just finished listening to Jacob Collier's cover of PYT with the video I feel like I just got off an acid trip or something. That **** is insane (and it's also linked in my new sig!).
Literally my dropping is on the floor right now. Not even figuratively. My jaw has dropped all the way to the ground and it won't come back up.
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Member Since: 2/4/2014
Posts: 2,059
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ATRL Administrator
Member Since: 6/29/2002
Posts: 77,601
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Quote:
Originally posted by RihsusChrist(ATG)
Now I said I was going to my entry ^ to see what everybody else thinks.
I mean it's no "Video Games" mind you, but I don't think it deserved the harshness it got from all but 1 of the judges.
They are quite stodgy if they can't get that type of song.
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Yeah you obviously did put some effort into that, it deserved serious critiques. Let me try.
I don't find the subject interesting or funny so it's hard for me to personally enjoy this song. There are some distracting typos and the overall tone could be more humorous. Of course you didn't have many words to work with, but the verses in particular are quite straightforward. It has potential though, it's not bad at all. I appreciate that you're doing something different. 6.5/10
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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When 25 debuts with 1,318,000
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Member Since: 2/4/2014
Posts: 2,059
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Quote:
Quote:
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Okay, so as catchy as this could potentially be, this would definitely be one of those songs carried by its instrumental and melody. I really liked the way the song read, but specific word choices seemed off. "Like a woman with a child", for example, seemed like a very strange simile to use. There are some words there just to be there - "just" is the most often that word in songs, and it's in yours.
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Quote:
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The hook was the stronger part for me, really bringing it all together and putting the concept forward. The verses were also strong but I felt like certain lines felt a bit awkward (“like a woman with child”) it might just be the word choice or placement. I do think the emotion was nice but I could see you taking it even further, really going far with it.
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Quote:
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There are some beautiful ideas to this song and I appreciate the background information as I heard similar things to the inspiration of this song. Your verses are quite good, there were some abstract comparisons like “large like woman with child” when talking about his smile. The song is just at 140 words so it meets our word limit for the current challenge.
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Quote:
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“Getting large like a woman with child” I don’t know if I should love or hate that line. I’m not really sure what this song is about or what you’re trying to say here because of some of the weird metaphors. I know you have it in you, but you didn’t bring it this week like I hoped.
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I threw it in for a clever comparison but looks like it backfired
other than that the comments are are pretty positive, though Skill appears underwhelmed
All A Lie
v1
day to day he was struggling
his despair each day was doubling
but he played it off like it were nothing
but he don’t mind, he don’t mind
it grew worse when he smiled
getting large like a woman with child
yet he let the resentment pile
but he don’t mind, he don’t mind
h
so he smiles to keep them guessing
so he smiles to throw them off the scent each time
won’t let them find out why
he don’t think they’d understand
so he smiles as he loses his mind
so he smiles to let them believe
that he’s doing just fine
but it’s a lie
it’s all a lie
v2
they’d smile at him for a minute
then look away, and that’d be it
any hopes to talk to him just diminished
but he don’t mind, he don’t mind
h
so he smiles to keep them guessing
so he smiles to throw them off the scent each time
won’t let them find out why
he don’t think they’d understand
so he smiles as he loses his mind
so he smiles to let them believe
that he’s doing just fine
but it’s a lie
it’s all a lie
h
so he smiles to keep them guessing
so he smiles to throw them off the scent each time
won’t let them find out why
he don’t think they’d understand
so he smiles as he loses his mind
so he smiles to let them believe
that he’s doing just fine
but it’s a lie
it’s all a lie
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Member Since: 8/6/2015
Posts: 18,803
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Quote:
Originally posted by Alesus
I threw it in for a clever comparison but looks like it backfired
other than that the comments are are pretty positive, though Skill appears underwhelmed
All A Lie
v1
day to day he was struggling
his despair each day was doubling
but he played it off like it were nothing
but he don’t mind, he don’t mind
it grew worse when he smiled
getting large like a woman with child
yet he let the resentment pile
but he don’t mind, he don’t mind
h
so he smiles to keep them guessing
so he smiles to throw them off the scent each time
won’t let them find out why
he don’t think they’d understand
so he smiles as he loses his mind
so he smiles to let them believe
that he’s doing just fine
but it’s a lie
it’s all a lie
v2
they’d smile at him for a minute
then look away, and that’d be it
any hopes to talk to him just diminished
but he don’t mind, he don’t mind
h
so he smiles to keep them guessing
so he smiles to throw them off the scent each time
won’t let them find out why
he don’t think they’d understand
so he smiles as he loses his mind
so he smiles to let them believe
that he’s doing just fine
but it’s a lie
it’s all a lie
h
so he smiles to keep them guessing
so he smiles to throw them off the scent each time
won’t let them find out why
he don’t think they’d understand
so he smiles as he loses his mind
so he smiles to let them believe
that he’s doing just fine
but it’s a lie
it’s all a lie
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I know what you did
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Member Since: 2/26/2012
Posts: 23,655
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any hints for the ones who got high scores?
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