Quote:
42. Jack! – I Wish
What does pixel heart mean? Some of these word choices, particularly in the chorus, threw me off a bit. Like "palm" sounds just a tad odd. Also, "your chest inside my arms"... Actually, most of what I have a problem with in the chorus. You had the right ideas with the verses and lost it in the chorus.
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Quote:
42. Jack! – I Wish
This was a very good entry, and I did prefer it to your entry last week. The first verse isn’t my absolute favourite if I’m completely honest, but I like most of it. I’m just not sure what some of the lyrics are getting at. The chorus is good and the “I wish” motif is used well, as are the rhymes. The second verse which describes what I’m assuming is you looking at an Instagram pictureis really great and I love how the whole verse follows that one idea. The bridge opposing the wishes with things you wish weren’t there is a really clever contrast. Overall I thought it was a great entry.
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Thanks for the comments so far guys!
@Hugamari the song is about a long distance relationship. I was trying to describe the feeling of love between technology. So, one of the guys I met and "dated" for a while lived in Malaysia, we met here but he lived back there, we tried to keep it going online for a while but nothing really felt right. I was trying to get at that, but I did try to keep my vocabulary short so probably cut corners in some places with wording.
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Over the Moon
