fight me irl about it

not ya'll getting on the defensive already.

There's a certain member who needs to see this.

Fight me.

This is quite a thought-provoking discussion. I think that the reason that many people take it so seriously is because they feel that it really IS that serious. They built a personal connection to whatever artist(s) they stan for and their music, and when someone "attacks" said artist, it's like they just said something about a loved one.

I do, however, think it is important that people realize that whatever connection they built with said artist is very one-sided, and those artists would not go through the same lengths for them. They should try to not take offense by these things.

Likewise, for those who have intense hatred for an artist - that said hate is ALSO very one-sided, and they don't really think of the people who hate them in that same way. They need to analyze just what it is that compels them to say some of the things they say...they might just find that it's a problem they have with themselves.

oooh this is really good. Let me steal and update the title tbh

Being particularly fond of a band, artist, song or whatever...that's okay. People all have the things they like. The issue with "stan" culture in particular is the level of severity it takes. Some take it to such extremes that it's like the artist is their immediate family or life partner, and their lives are endangered by people who have different opinions. That sounds a bit drastic, but that's what stanning is...drastic.

And this isn't just a problem with people who enjoy music, either. Sports stans, for example, are just as bad; the difference is that "stan" culture in sports has become normalized because straight (white) males do it. It doesn't mean it's any less creepy when you really analyze how deep it runs for people.

I don't attack anyone who does that. However if it's a constant thing like you bring that star up even when her name wasn't mentioned then it's a problem. A prime example of this is BadBoy he been bringing up ariana grande for almost 2 years now. It's sad.

I feel like people lash out because they are insecure about their fave. You should be comfortable with your fave, as you are with yourself. It's kind of like a self-confidence issue, I think.

For example, Kelly is my fave. I know so much about her, and I'm so used to her usual criticism. So people calling her fat or saying that her music sucks doesn't really bother me. I love her all the same. My connection with Kelly is my own, and nothing anybody else says will change that.

Stanning can be kind of serious, though, because many of us do feel a connection with our fave. When someone says something negative about them, it's almost like they are trying to diminish our connection with them. Like I said before, though, you shouldn't let what others say make you feel insecure about your fave.

hi