[Verse 1]
Like a lion on a hunt
I get exactly what I want
In this jungle, I'm the pride
And you're the one who caught my eye
Like a deer inside the lights
I’ll hit you when the time is right
I'll make my move and capture you
I'll have you when the night is through
[Pre Chorus]
Try to run; I like a race
I always finish in first place
I’m gonna win; make no mistake
There's no escaping from your fate
Put up a chase; I'll let you start
I'll always be right where you are
Already done; you're out of time
Just try to run, but know that I'm
[Chorus]
A predator, baby
And my sight's on you tonight
You'll be all on me
Though you'll say it ain't true, but like
A predator, baby
I always get the kill
A predator, baby
And I'll bend you to my will
[Verse 2]
I’ve made my mark; I never miss
I’ll pounce when you’re least ‘spectin it
Through the dark, I lurk and prowl
It’s too late when you hear me shout
Like a shark, I come for blood
I’ll sink my fangs and have some fun
I’ll find you anywhere you are
This game was finished from the start
[Pre Chorus]
Try to run; I like a race
I always finish in first place
I’m gonna win; make no mistake
There's no escaping from your fate
Put up a chase; I'll let you start
I'll always be right where you are
Already done; you're out of time
Just try to run, but know that I'm
[Chorus]
A predator, baby
And my sight's on you tonight
You'll be all on me
Though you'll say it ain't true, but like
A predator, baby
I always get the kill
A predator, baby
And I'll bend you to my will
[Bridge]
You wanna dance?
Well now’s your chance
You’re cornered now; up against the wall
There’s no way out; you’re in my claws
The time has come, we’ll have some fun
Already done; say your goodbyes
Just try to run, but know that I'm
[Chorus]
A predator, baby
And my sight's on you tonight
You'll be all on me
Though you'll say it ain't true, but like
A predator, baby
I always get the kill
A predator, baby
And I'll bend you to my will
[Outro]
You wanna dance?
Well here’s your chance
You’re in my hands
I have some plans
You wanna dance?
Well here’s your chance
You’re in my hands…
I’m a predator
Unless I make any adjustments, this is the song I am glad I finally wrote a song with lyrics and all
Woo this is gonna be good practice for when I'm actually reviewing songs in a month or so. These are just simple comments, not critiques, but if you want anything more let me know!
ughgabriel - Thick Walls
I do really like this one and I feel like it started out strong. I could relate to so much of it actually. My advice would be to try writing to a structure some time. Your last song and this one both don't have any clear repetitions; things are repeated but there isn't a clear chorus as lines are always changed. This can work too, but sometimes a solid chorus can help bring everything together, and I think this song in particular could benefit from that.
ceremonials - The Man With The Anchor
Love the first four lines. I've played with this imagery in the past and I really like it, so I'm a bit biased when it comes to the general metaphor. The next four lines aren't necessary in my opinion and the repeating of the "drown" and "down" rhymes used in the first four lines do detract a bit. The rest of it is really, really great though. I love the sense of movement this chorus provides.
EpicSongFan - Fragile
Minor note, thank you for using the more unpredictable "gaze"/"maze" rhyme rather than the cliche and predictable "haze"/"daze". In general though, the verse is bordering on the predictable side and there are some problems ("all you did was apologized" doesn't sound right). Second verse is much stronger. The chorus is simple which is nice, but I think it could be bigger, if only for the second and final chorus. I like the bridge too. A well put-together song.
EpicSongFan - Nightfall
Already this song is better than the last, not as much cliche/predictable language. My only main problem from the first half is the use of "break free" in both the verse and pre-chorus. When writing for PH don't include annotations like (Instrumental), by the way. I love this chorus though, fantastic work.
EpicSongFan - Denial
This was almost going to get a "No flaws." comment from me until I reached the hook. I get what you're going for, but eh, I'm still against "Ooh, ooh, oohs" in songs. Technically, they're not lyrics. I get that they make catchy songs catchy, but they drag down lyrically impressive songs. I hope that makes sense. Otherwise it's honestly perfect for me.
EpicSongFan - Reverberate & The Recovery
This is nice. I've already commented on the Ooh's and the (Instrumental)'s, that still stands. There was a bit of a problem with the first verse (these should be this). The rest of it is good though.
EpicSongFan - Hope
Love the meaning of the song. There are some problems though, like "robbed away from it". There's the ooh's and instrumental's again. But you avoided some more obvious rhymes which I liked ("dust/trust" rather than "rust"). Not your strongest song out of this batch but I still enjoyed it!
Roberto - Green Eyes
This is a really lovely song. It's obviously personal to you so I can't actually critique on any of the details. A tip would be to try to use more metaphors instead of just saying exactly how you feel... compare your feelings to something else. I like the "poem/masterpiece" lyric a lot, that was a standout for me.
KeshasFansRose - Hurt You More Than You Think
I can definitely see the Halsey/Colors influence in the lyrics and the way that they've been structured. Particularly in the chorus. I think this is a good starting point, I've done the same thing, written with a certain pre-existing melody in mind. But definitely try to work on writing independently without the aid of a pre-existing melody. We don't want another Without You/Wildest Dreams on our hands.
KeshasFansRose - I Hope You Go
The theme is strong even if not entirely original. I do prefer this to your first song because the Halsey influence isn't so prominent. Ignoring the stuttered bits which I've already said I'd prefer it if lyrics were just written without melody in mind, it's a nice song. The verses are the highlights. The bridge too.
KeshasFansRose - Last Summer
I'm honestly not sure what to think of this one. It's not the best song lyrically and I think you know that. The stutter bits are just too much to ignore for me. I don't necessarily think it's the best party song I've ever read. There aren't many good rhymes here. Sorry.
I like this. To me it feels more like a first draft with lots of potential. Add in a solid pre-chorus and bridge to tie everything together (perhaps even an extended chorus) and you're on the right track.
ughgabriel - Confusing Illusion
Probably my favourite song you've posted here. You've kept your thing (well it's what I associate with you, anyway ) of having somewhat mismatched lines and interesting rhyme schemes, but you've got that chorus which ties everything together this time and it really does elevate it. There's some really great lyrics here, love the bridge. Super solid work.
EatmeZayn - Cant Let Go (my title)
Am I getting subtle Lana influences? I think I might be. Honestly, it's a really solid work. I do know that you've been involved in PH before (not either of my seasons ) and I can see why you did well. There are some rhymes which fall more on the predictable side, but otherwise, it's a good song overall.
??? - Take A Look
This five minute pop perfection tho.
Now there's regular posts I need to catch up on, loving this activity!
Oop thank you for your thoughts!
I'll see what I can think of pre-chorus wise, I already have the music down but I can probably just do the verse piano for 4 more measures and do a pre-chorus there and then move on to chorus.
It's on the back of my songs right now, just finally came up with lyrics for it the other night so wanted to share, but I still appreciate it!
Lemme be nice like you and review everyone's work as well when I have my computer later this week, even though I'm not a lyricist lol.
Here's a messy demo of Last Summer I quickly made The Pre Chorus and Chorus use Kesha's Pretty Lady, couldn't find an instrumental of it. Don't expect good vocals, although my BF helped me record it as I don't have a clue how to use Garageband
I forgot this thread existed - but this is a good time as any to dump my new song here. I'd like to see what people think of it.
Witchcraft
It was a black night when I met you
You made me smile
It was voodoo
I couldn’t get you out of my head
You kept haunting my dreams
I asked you out again
You took me by surprise
With your smiling eyes
I should’ve seen the signs of your darker guiles
Chorus:
How did I fall into your hands?
You worked me over with witchcraft
Under your spell and I can’t break free
Yet I can’t remember what you did to me
I’m so in love, it’s like a curse
When things get bad you make them worse
You’ve got me crawling on my knees
I’m so enchanted
It’s witchcraft
I hear you go out with your coven
Seducing boys with lips like heaven
You lead them right into your lair
Those sorry souls, you strip them bare
Learned so much things since I met you
But I’m so bewitched by your taboo
This love’s like a catastrophic ritual
But I can’t resist, it’s supernatural
Chorus:
How did I fall into your hands?
You worked me over with witchcraft
Under your spell and I can’t break free
Yet I can’t remember what you did to me
I’m so in love, it’s like a curse
When things get bad you make them worse
You’ve got me crawling on my knees
I’m so enchanted
It’s witchcraft
I can’t let you go
You’re so amazing
The way you love is so unreal
I love the way you make me feel
I’m just like putty in your hands
I give in to all your little demands
It makes me sick, the things you do
You’re under my skin
Can’t get rid of you
Chorus:
How did I fall into your hands?
You worked me over with witchcraft
Under your spell and I can’t break free
Yet I can’t remember what you did to me
I’m so in love, it’s like a curse
When things get bad you make them worse
You’ve got me crawling on my knees
I’m so enchanted
It’s witchcraft
You look so good
But oh, you’re bad
Can’t let you go
It’s like witchcraft
You only love playing with my heart
When you get bored, you’ll tear me apart
How did I fall into your hands?
You worked me over with witchcraft
Under your spell and I can’t break free
Yet I can’t remember what you did to me
I’m so in love, it’s like a curse
When things get bad you make them worse
You’ve got me crawling back to you
You’ve cast your hex, what can I do?
How did I fall into your hands?
You worked me over with witchcraft
I've been working on this for a long time. I still haven't found a good bridge for it though. Lyrically it's not that good but I really like how the song flows.
Poison
[Verse 1]
Walking down the street
Through the city lights
Going up and down, baby
With my conscious off
Music blasting
And I'm halfway numb
Baby I don't need your love
While my glass is full
[Pre Chorus 1]
Which way's good?
Which one's wrong?
Sometimes things like this
Are so hard to define
Can I choose?
Or am I doomed?
Cause we all know
That destiny is hard to defy
[Chorus]
I want that poison, that poison
I drink it up then take it down
Will never let it go
I need that poison, my poison
It is the drink that makes me feel
I am infinite
I want that poison, that poison
I drink it up then take it down
Will never let it go
I need that poison, my poison
The one that makes me feel like
I become alive
[Verse 2]
I'll go anywhere
Any party
Any place to heal the pain
That I'm feeling
I know you want
To taste my lips
And I'm also wanting to
Forget what's hurting
[Pre Chorus 2]
(Want that poison)
To the bed
Throw me against
A one night stand
Won't kill any souls
Loneliness
Empty and dry
I will comfort
In strangers' arms
[Chorus]
I want that poison, that poison
I drink it up then take it down
Will never let it go
I need that poison, my poison
It is the drink that makes me feel
I am infinite
I want that poison, that poison
I drink it up then take it down
Will never let it go
I need that poison, my poison
The one that makes me feel like
I become alive
Here's an acapella demo from the first verse to the first chorus, my vocals are not so good though, but you can still appreciate the melody, I think:
Hi, I've wrote over 20 songs and basically I write over songs I like, following their melody and structure but the lyrical content/ theme is my own.
For example, I wrote over Halsey's Colors song here. It's about my friends BF who I can't stand.
Hurt You More Than You Think
(Verse 1)
He says he loves you down the phone, but he’s always drunk
He says he never hits the bottle when he’s all alone
You say you miss him, when he’s out there kissing other girls
When the only reason he’s missing you is getting blown
(Pre Chorus)
You’re heading for disaster but you can’t steer right
He’ll stand there and he’ll watch you slowly drown
In your own tears, until the light of day
Draw the crimson from your blood, he’ll cut you deep
(Chorus)
Loving him will hurt, you more, than you’ll think
And you’ll be sorry that you ever let him into your dreams
And it’s true
And it’s true
Loving him will hurt, you more, than you’ll think
And you’ll be so broken down, you don’t know what to believe
And he’ll hurt, you
And he’ll hurt, you
(Verse 2)
He was your colour when his black heart, it haunted you
He saw your weakness when he’d knocked you down, oh so low
He said, “I love you more, than I think you’ll ever know”
And now your hours spent crying, ‘cause he’s not with you
(Pre Chorus)
(Chorus)
(Bridge)
Her soul was too deep to explore by those who always swam in the shallow end
And I’m sorry that I cannot love you like a ghost
But I’ll catch you, when you fall.
(Chorus)
I struggle writing about bad relationships/ break ups since I've only ever been with the same guy for almost 4 years now, so I kinda either make characters up or put myself in different situations. For example, here I thought about how I'd feel if he was dating another guy. Like if I couldn't have him, I wouldn't want anyone else too. This would be a ballad
I Hope You Go
(Verse 1)
Heart, harder than stone
Yet, warmer than mine
You hurt me, now this is my turn
To make you beg, plead and plead
Out of key, with my upper hand
You left me for dead
(Pre Chorus)
Went to you with an open heart
Let me go with a thousand scars
Left you in your promised land
This must be the calm before the storm
(Chorus)
Oh, I hope you gooo
To the same fate as I-I-I
Oh, I hope it falls
With the same grace, twice
With the cry-i-ing
And the be-gging too
And the cha-sing
Oh, I hope you gooo
Oh, I hope you gooo
To the same fate
With the same grace
Oh, I hope you gooo
(Verse 2)
The lies that roll off your tongue
They can’t see it
You’re a player at your heart
You know what I mean
So if time really moves on,
Then why can’t I be free?
Stuck on the same track, open road
With, no room to breathe
(Pre Chorus)
(Chorus)
(Bridge)
Maybe I should watch them
Fall into your bad schemes
Maybe I should help them
Reach in and pull them
Or waaaa-atch them, falllll-alll
As their heart hits the ground
And shatters their earth
As their heart hits the ground
And shatters their earth
Maybe I should watch them
Fall into a bad dream
Wake up, cold in the night
Saying, “You’ve leeeeft me”
“You’ve leeeeft me.”
“Left me to… bleed…”
(Chorus)
Oh, I hope you gooo
To the same fate as I-I-I
Oh, I hope it falls
With the same grace, twice
With the cry-i-ing
And the be-gging too
And the cha-sing
Oh, I hope you gooo
Oh, I hope you gooo
To the same fate
With the same grace
Oh, I hope you goooooooooo
And I hope you knowww
How much it hurt
Oh, I hope you gooooo
Here's a party song I wrote, it's one of the first songs I wrote and one of my favourites, if a little cheesy at times I guess. I wrote it over Kesha's Pretty Lady song, although I changed the bridge melody to suit. It's basically about growing up and when you reach that final summer before you graduate university and everyone has to go into the "real world"
Last Summer
(Verse 1)
O-one-hundred hours
Let’s get wrecked and trashed together
Oh-my-****-ing g-od
Things are gettin’ a little h-o-ot
Let’s go, slumber party
Crash next doors, summer party
Take one, pass it o-o-on
In no time you’ll be moving on
(Pre Chorus)
Weeee lost our ffff-aithhhh
(It ran away!)
Innnn-o-cence dd-iedddd
(With our lies!)
(Chorus)
Anthems, turned up
Cash flow’s, dried up
‘Cause it’s our last ****ing summer!
We move on, we get lost
Sunset, pants down
‘Cause it’s our last ****ing summer!
(Verse 2)
Oh-my-****-ing g-od
This is our, last sum-mer
Of our freedom a-a-a-age
We’ll make our way-ay
In no time we’re gone
Dead and bur-i-i-ied,
Life moves on
So what’s up ne-ext!?
(Pre Chorus)
(Chorus)
(Bridge)
Now what? I kn-ow-ow-owww
I think you’re about to bl-ow-ow-owww…
Chunks, in the poo-oo-ool
And the mini bar, too-oo-oo
Cham-pagne all arou-r-r-round
Just muck around, yeahhhh!
(Chorus)
Hope you enjoy them, please give me some feedback, advice etc.
Lemme just bump this to the new pages.
Will upload "Deadly Nightshade" when I'm on my Laptop next
Here's a new song I've just wrote. It's basically about my BF and ***. It describes him/ physical appearance and I've tried linking the metaphors like the cage and fighter to him/ what he does. A new gay anthem. Need to rework Verse 2 a bit, but I've been on it an hour, so I'm pretty pleased with what I came up with so far. Will post any updates
Strange Love Feels Good
(Verse 1)
Hey!
You over there with your dark hair, tidy
Tall and strong, became lover and sentry
‘Cause I like them different and I like them dirty
We’re gonna get, now we’re gonna get
Stuck in your cage all alone with you
Fighter at heart, so you’ll fight on through
So you took me to the hotel room with view
We’re gonna get, now we’re gonna get
(Pre Chorus)
We’ll never do it steady
Like we knew that we were, ready
Is this a strange love?
Maybe it’s not
But we’ll always know, no
(Chorus)
‘Cause you give me your strange l-ove
And you took me to worlds I can’t
Explain, for the life of me
My love, my love, my l-o-ove
Strange love feels oh so good
I think I found somebody
Who took me to worlds I can’t
Explain, explain, ex-pla-a-ain
(Verse 2)
Now you’re holding me, holding me heavy
Flexing your guns, all guns at the ready
You thought I wouldn’t like them, rough around the edges
So you turned your red fists into heaven
And as we go up with years
And we’re still showing the love
Got a lap dance for you
Now we’re gonna get, now we’re gonna get
(Pre Chorus)
(Chorus)
(Bridge)
‘Cause you, take me to, new worlds
And you’re, big arms, and you’re, big heart,
And this strange love feels so good
And you gave me all new meaning
And this strange love feels so good, so good
I am the host. The judges will be revealed once the season starts.
I hate to burst your bubble, but your score wasn't a record; it was the highest scoring song of Season 6, but other songs had been scored higher in previous seasons.
Also yes. "A Higher Power" scored 9 and 1/6 stars, or 9.167 points. My song "Set Sail", which was the Song of the Season for S7 scored 9.24 points. But you should still be super proud of yourself! I got 4th last season... there must be a thing with the 4th place contestant getting the SOTS!
Predator
These are just simple comments, not critiques, but if you want anything more let me know!
) of having somewhat mismatched lines and interesting rhyme schemes, but you've got that chorus which ties everything together this time and it really does elevate it. There's some really great lyrics here, love the bridge. Super solid work.
The Pre Chorus and Chorus use Kesha's Pretty Lady, couldn't find an instrumental of it. Don't expect good vocals, although my BF helped me record it as I don't have a clue how to use Garageband 
aww I hope LS is okay and grats Sam
"A Higher Power" scored 9 and 1/6 stars, or 9.167 points. My song "Set Sail", which was the Song of the Season for S7 scored 9.24 points. But you should still be super proud of yourself! I got 4th last season... there must be a thing with the 4th place contestant getting the SOTS!