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Tournament: PLΔTINUM HIT 7
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Quote:
Originally posted by Superpower
I love all 3 members. Good luck  |
Aww thank you 
I revised the **** out DWTG and the score stayed the same 
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Unhappy about these scores but let's see what happens :eyes:
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
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Quote:
Originally posted by ClarksonSlays
Aww thank you
I revised the **** out DWTG and the score stayed the same |
I bumped it (slightly) but I don't think my scores were counted for this round 
WAIT, we never got reviews!  Or did I miss something?
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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mess not the new songs last
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
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Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
PM me your score for Wilderness this second.
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It's a 0. Nick Jonas did it better.
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Actually I looked over the scores again and I'm fairly content :eyes: It's close
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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# | ClarksonSlays | Score | keshaspearsxo | Score | lovesong | Score | 1 | Gales Of Time | 7,675 | Hold Your Hand | 7,6 | Wilderness | 8,5 | 2 | Ocean Lips | 8,625 | Possibility | 7,75 | Nothing Is Forever | 8,575 | 3 | Purpose | 8,65 | Heartwater | 8,7 | When I'm With You | 8,625 | 4 | Love Her | 8,45 | If In A Dream | 6,825 | Woman Of Desire | 7,675 | 5 | DWTG | 8,125 | Deer | 8,625 | Ribcage | 8,3 | 6 | Lost Birds | 8,25 | Oblivion | 8,125 | King | 7,95 |
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Member Since: 2/5/2014
Posts: 29,111
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 9/2/2011
Posts: 21,728
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Quote:
Originally posted by MattyTacos
It's a 0. Nick Jonas did it better.
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The lies.
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ATRL Senior Member
Member Since: 1/6/2014
Posts: 8,787
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All these are so close 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 40,803
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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The remaining 2 scores represent the new song each contestant submitted (20 points) and the judges' overall impression after reading each contestant's compilation. Here are the reviews!
 Truth Teller
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Odyssey : I absolutely loved the choruses, exceptionally executed. I also appreciated the twist in the bridge. If I could point out a shortcoming, it'd be the lack of storytelling in the verses. Overall, it's a great entry and a great way to end your impressive run on PH7
Overall : You've been quite the frontrunner since the very beginning and, looking back at your entries, I can totally see why. You know how to write. You're incredible at putting the right words in the right places and at including just the right images to elevate each concept. What you can do to improve is actually to let yourself naturally grow. A lot of your songs have a similar tone and vibe to one another, in the way you describe love or lust or pain. Experiencing life and growing up more will give you more dimensions to your topics and I can't wait to see what you will craft with them  Good luck baby 
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feelslikeadream
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Odyssey : I really love the concept here and how you find ways to incorporate the ‘odyssey’ theme throughout the song. There are instances where the language feels a little muddled or confusing (“Following with me”? “You’re weren’t") that I’m kind of surprised to see in a finale entry, but much of the song flows well enough. There’s also movement across the song (esp. in the bridge) that I appreciate. I felt like the verse went into the chorus too quickly here, without enough build up.
Overall : While the idea of reading so many songs in the finale seemed a bit daunting to me at first, I’m happy to see many of your strongest songs collected in this way, reminding me why you deserve this spot in the finale. While I didn’t love your songs every week, your highs were really high, like Ocean Lips, which earned one of my highest scores all season. You’re a writer with the natural gift of storytelling; you usually have a strong motif/narrative in your songs that make them feel complete and lived. If you continue to write songs after PH, you should focus on fine tuning the language, even if it’s as simple as cutting a word here or there, replacing a long word with a short one, etc. Congrats on making it to the finale and good luck! (Also, your single covers were great.)
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Tymps
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Odyssey : I really think this is the best song you’ve submitted all season and obviously it came at the best time possible. You have so many great ideas but they’re not uncomfortably, try-hard poetic. Rather they feel naturally flowing and full of emotion instead of intentionally made to get a high score. To be honest given how much effort and attention all the finalists were putting into their new finale songs I was afraid it would be the latter. But you executed this piece very well and you should feel immense pride in this song. Standout lines to me include “I held your hand, but now you hold me” and “Imagine our love in years not hours”
Overall : Hunter/Clarkson/HunTer, you’ve come a long way. I’m so proud of all that you’ve accomplished throughout this game. You went from being the most irrelevant member of the “Quadrinity” to being the only contestant from it left in the finale (guess it wasn’t really that much of a Quadrinity). You have a way with fusing songwriting with poetry, almost like Saint Godga fuses ART and POP to create ARTPOP, a reverse Warholian experience available on iTunes right now. However, I do feel that out of the contestants in the finale, you’ve had the least growth. That’s not to say you didn’t have great growth, and in addition you also wielded a shocking consistency throughout the whole game. But in comparison your growth has been less noticeable. I also feel you need to continue to develop your personal voice in your songs. You still need to break out of that feeling in your songs where I can tell it’s for Platinum Hit. You’ve gotten much closer and I think you’ve almost achieved it with your finale song, however you’re not entirely there yet. Taking some time from competing (whether it be forever or until the next season starts) should help. I hope that you continue to think about how you can improve your craft, and stay proud of who you are as a songwriter and what you’ve done this season. Thank you so much for being an amazing contestant, you’ve been a great addition to the Platinum Hit family and I know you’re not going anywhere.
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Bloomers
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Odyssey : In comparison with the slayage of some of your other songs, Odyssey sticks out as being slightly weak when juxtaposed with the other songs; but it still has some great moments. "I saw through your crumbling walls / You’re weren’t who you wanted to be" is one of my favorite lines I have read yet in this competition and I do like the opening and promise of the song.
That being said, it did feel slightly unfocused and unpolished, especially in comparison to the other songs. I think the concept of an Odyssey (I'm assuming that's a Homer reference?) is a difficult one to tackle and relate to and I thought it was a little scattershot, bouncing from belltowers to lions and dragons which thematically doesn't feel cohesive. Also, some details about the song left me thinking that it wasn't as polished as it could be: "following with me?" I'm not sure what that might mean, I'm not too sure why naive eyes would be exciting (maybe because they haven't seen adventure, but I have to guess that as part of the audience), and the outro ends with them heading out to planets to live forever, Earth is a planet.
Overall : Reading through all your highlights at once is a pleasure and you have a clearly distinct style marked by intense and powerful dramatic natural or mythological imagery that gives the album a consistency and distinct flow. Overall, the highlights are all here. I say Lost Birds remains my favorite overall because of how it balances straight-forwardness and the more intense aspects of your songwriting and I almost wish it was upfront, but it's all been great.
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MattyTacos
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Odyssey : First off, I want to say that I really like the cover that you made for the single. Now, onto the first verse I thought it was very well written and I actually have no problems with it whatsoever. It was cleanly, well written. The first chorus, or the first half of it, wouldn’t need a question mark after hours. I really liked the line “Your naive eyes are so exciting With each move I make they glow like lightning” it’s very unique. I liked the line that followed about the mountains and train tracks, great use of descriptive language. The bridge was pretty good, but “you’re weren’t” doesn’t make any sense. Overall, not my favorite song of yours but it’s definitely up there, you had a couple spelling errors here and there that could’ve been cleaned with a quick edit but otherwise you wrote a solid final entry.
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Truth TeΙΙer
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Into The Woods : This is a really good song to sum up your PH7 journey. It includes a lot of what makes you who you are as a songwriter ; the nature references, the poetic language, the urge to escape, the urge to escape with someone. I really liked it!
Overall : Looking back at your entries, you're probably the contestant I relate to the most. You have this pure, unfiltered thing about your writing that isn't necessarily the most polished or the most technically excellent of the bunch, but it's the one that, when it resonates, it reaches a very deep place, far beneath the surface of "good execution" and "oh, what a nice rhyme". You're honest. No matter what happens or what advice you get, don't get trapped in perfecting your technique if you can't guarantee that you'll maintain your straight forward rawness at the same time. Whether you win or not, you proved yourself and I really respect what you've done as a songwriter and how you've handled the competition as a person. Good luck enigma
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feeΙsΙikeadream
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Into The Woods : You did a great job writing a song that connects the songs in your EP; this feels right at home amongst your other songs. On the one hand, that’s cool. On the other, it feels a little bit repetitive and showcases a side of you we’ve already seen. Reading your songs together, I notice you write to the same type of rhythm a lot of the time; if you write in the future, try to break out of that pattern of writing 4-line verse sections, a 2 line pre-chorus, etc. and change up the flow a bit. Anyway, there’s some odd language (how does “enigma” have a mind?), but the song creates an ethereal mood that I love and the “run into the woods” line, as both a dare and command, works well.
Overall : Well pears, did you ever imagine you’d be here in the finale, just like I predicted at the end of last season? No one can deny how well you’ve redeemed Otto. It’s been a real pleasure watching you grow this season, submitting some of the season’s most memorable songs. I’m glad you noted that natural imagery/fragility are your EPs connective tissue, which is a very accurate self-assessment; one of my favorite things about your songwriting is the delicacy and passion you write with. I always feel like I’m reading something personal and introspective, and it’s great that you’ve developed a distinct songwriting style already. Like Clarkson, you can spend some time fine tuning language and making sure that every phrase makes sense and that the rhythm isn’t creating any odd pronunciations. Congrats on putting together this fine EP and best of luck bb!
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Τymps
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Into The Woods : This feels like very familiar content. Topic-wise I feel like I’ve read this from you a lot, and style-wise as well. I know the finale isn’t really a time to show a new side of you, but I would’ve liked something that stood out more from the rest of your work. It also suffers from some phrasing issues that were either confusing “A world you can forget your woe” or a tad awkward “Protect it like it is your heart”.
Overall : Hi Winner of Season 7. I’m so glad you made it this far even though we all knew since Season 6 you were the winner of this season. You have a very distinctive style in your lyrics. I always thought it was a little similar to Huga except with a lot more poeticism, although that might just be because of the ellipses hihihi. Your songs were always beautiful in their way, because God makes no mistakes, and I feel you showed a level of growth that isn’t going to stop after this finale, proving you’re on the right track. Speaking of Born This Way, have you bought the hit #1 album from iTunes yet? I hear it’s a good purchase. However, I feel like your lyrics often don’t come down to Earth enough. Sometimes, it can get a little too ARTPOP for me (which is also available on iTunes right this second). When your songs are all so ARTPOP, it’s actually a little harder to remember them unless there’s something really distinctive about them like Deer being about a deer. Keeping your songs distinctive from one another was my main criticism of your 7-song compilation, which utilized a lot of metaphors and symbolism involving water and land. You be even better once you can break away from those. That being said, reading through your songs was a little surreal because I got to see just how far you’ve come. I really liked the revisions made on your songs. Thank you so much for playing and you’ve been an amazing contestant, along with a very different and refreshing personality in the thread that didn’t whine about welp-I’m-going-home-this-round. Keep that confidence and self-assurance with you as you go on with your songwriting ventures!
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Blοοmers
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Into The Woods : My first thought when reading through was "I like the title, and I love how it leads into deer," and loved how you worked in the "doe" lyric in the pre-chorus. It was a little detail for sure, but I loved that touch and thought it showed how you were consciously thinking about the shape and direction of your album as a whole in addition to the individual songs. In fact, I also really liked the flow and how it flowed into Deer also. At times, I thought it might have been slightly too sweet, "protect it like it is your heart," "the beauty of this heaven's view" but that's probably more personal than anything. I thought it was a great final entry overall.
Overall : Pears, you kept the quality control really tight on the album, from beginning to end. I loved the thought that went into sequencing the songs, from opening with "Hold Your Hand," to ending with "Oblivion" and covering all the ground in between. There might have been a typo or two that needed to be fixed or cleaned up, but no big deal overall. Nice song choices, you maintained consistency and even incorporated some elements and themes from other songs into you new entry. It all felt very natural and was really impressive.
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MattyTacοs
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Into The Woods : The title serving some Disney’s Into The Woods realness. The first half of the first verse was really good, the lyrics were very descriptive. The pre-chorus didn’t do much for me and didn’t stand out much at all. But, luckily, the chorus was a lot better. It was simple but really effective in it’s storytelling lyrics. Which reminded me of Run Away With Me in a good way. The second verse was a lot better than the first, mainly the second half of the verse. The bridge is truly the highlight of the song. “The hunter will never find the deer” is such a great line and a nice reference to your song Deer, which I’m guessing it’s a reference too. Overall, this is a solid final entry and I didn’t have many problems with the song despite feeling like it lacked a little in some places (re: pre-chorus).
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Τruth ΤeΙΙer
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Watercolours Fade : Your growth is impressive. This song has excellent imagery and balanced storytelling. It's very well written! I enjoyed it!
Overall : Your biggest advantage is that you fully got your mojo close to the end of the game, so you still have a lot of fuel in your creative engine, as well as a lot of space to impress us. I think you're a very polished, focused and talented songwriter, who needs just a little more time to find a voice of their own, a distinctive style that will combine the quality you already have with that little extra ingredient that will make your lyrics instantly recognizable and extremely memorable. So, keep writing, keep reading, keep growing. Good luck!
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feelsΙikeadream
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Watercolours Fade : Not gonna lie, my eyes narrowed a bit at “current swept you” considering how close it is to a lyric in “This Love,” but fortunately it stops there. This is such a beautiful track to close the EP. My biggest issue is the structure of the 2nd verse compared to the first (this change in rhythm often works well in real music, but just seems dissonant when reading only lyrics). I’m also a bit tired of the ocean because I feel like every contestant wrote about it this season. But still, this song creates such a perfect dreamy mood that works well with the title and image of watercolours fading. I really appreciate the move from the narrative first verse to the more general 2nd, and then to the final verse that represents redemption.
Overall : This is such a baller EP. Even though I would rearrange the order of some of the tracks (Nothing Is Forever comes much too soon IMO), the EP is thematically cohesive, structurally diverse, and showcases some of the best writing of the season. You really know how to paint a picture with your words; whether you’re writing in a directly narrative way or just creating a single scene for the listener, I often felt really attached to your lyrics and like there was real heart behind them. You rarely used awkward language, found a way to make your style fit all the different challenges, and surprised me with your growth in the competition. Congrats on making it to the finale and may the odds be ever in your favor!
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Tymps.
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Watercolors Fade : This song is very obviously meticulously thought out, and the lines are majestic. However it just feels similar to so many other songs I’ve read this season. I think every contestant has done one or more songs about water. I wish for the finale you would’ve chosen to do something that stood out more or that was more inventive. The song was good, yes, but it was also very safe and in my opinion didn’t totally display the improvement nor the great qualities of your songwriting we’ve all come to love.
Overall : Heyhey lovelovesongsong. I think out of all the finalists you’ve shown the most improvement. You’ve come a very very long way, and to be honest I wouldn’t have thought you would make it this far. You’re very different from the other two finalists as well. Your style is less shrouded in complex metaphors and symbolism and more simple and accessible. I think this works to your advantage. You showed a lot of different things you could do this season, proving yourself to be versatile and persistent. You were in it for #MusicNotTheBling (by the way hit album The Fame is available on iTunes featuring pop smashes like Poker Fame and Just Dance). however, to give my biggest criticism of your work, I feel like you still have work to do in order to breakfree.mp3 of triteness. You showed us you could do so many different things but next you can show us that you can do them all without writing about moonlight and such. When I read lines like those, they really stick out and take away from your song. That’s your next step in order to become a great, great songwriter. Thank you so much so being an awesome contestants and I’ll be seeing you around, maybe at another finale in a couple months? :eyes: You were always enthusiastic and never catty, always a good attitude to have around. Don’t stop writing.
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Bloοmers
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Watercolors Fade : I think this is a bit of a risky entry coming from you. It's less straight-forward and more imagery focused compared to a lot of your entries. I think the risk largely paid off though. I liked the lyrics! It's more abstract as an entry, but I like the story telling of the song. The language is appropriately turbulent in the beginning, and kind of hopeless and destroyed with the second verse, and finally ready to start anew in the third verse. It was also a neat choice to forgo a bridge and include a third verse to continue the story and have chorus kind of represent the feeling of the whole song. It's also a great ending to the album. This is definitely a worthy song to be included on among the highlights on your album.
Overall : lovesong, one of my favorite things about your entries have been how straight-forward they have been. You use simple language (that's not a dig), but still make it meaningful and relatable to your songs. You include some details in your lyrics that help establish the world that your stories take place in, and this is all maintained on the album. I liked the flow of the album as a whole and thing you did a solid job in choosing your highlights. The one thing that I thought stuck out slightly was King, the Beyoncé track, as it seemed to be written in a different voice than the rest of the songs, but Ribcage led into it nicely (although Ribcage is still one of my least favorite song titles  ). Nice call to end on Watercolors Fade, and I really loved the different approach of that song.
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MattyΤacos
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Watercolors Fade : I don’t like the line of you feeling the screams call out to you, I think hear or a different word would have worked a lot better. Loved the final two lines of the first verse though, “The paint runs across the page Slowly watching the sky fade” it was really well written. I don’t like how you repeat hurt twice in the chorus though. I feel like you could’ve had a better third line for the chorus instead of repeating. The best part of the second verse was the section about the sinking ships in the water, great descriptive language and it really stood out. The third verse is the best verse though, definitely the standout verse. Overall, definitely a great final song and really shows off your great lyricism.
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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let me pray for a 10 for cohesiveness
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Welp I guess I know who's winning.
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ATRL Senior Member
Member Since: 1/6/2014
Posts: 8,787
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Did I really write "following with me?"
Thank you judges for all of your feedback, I'm gonna post my thank you/good bye monologue in just a biT.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 40,803
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
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Congrats to whoever wins! 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Well ****. It's all come to an end. This game has become so much more than a game to me over the past three months, it's become a community, a safe haven, and an artistic crucible that did more to foster my love of writing than 4 years of professional art training at my high school did. And with that, I have some thanks to give:
To Truth Teller, even though you stan for a screaming has been, you have been an incredible host and judge. You live up to your name and call it how you see it which one has to appreciate. It's been awesome getting to know you better over the past few months. PS, thanks for posting on my wall telling me to join when I would've completely missed this game without it 
To Fefe, you've given me such great feedback that is not only accurate but insightful and precise. I'm so glad I got to know you through this game so that we can cry about Carly and Kelly being flops and relive Mariah's glory days together.
To MattyTacos, you insufferable virgin wannabe ****, lashing each other has been so much fun, and like the other two judges who I may or may not have already forgotten, it has been great getting to know you as a person through your messy posts and your detailed feedback.
To Bloomers, though I didn't get to know you as well as the other 3 bottoms, your feedback always found a way to express what I was thinking with your incredible insight and artistic validity and understanding. Drake teas.
To Tymps, even though I found you the hardest to please as a judge, I loved that your feedback and how your taste was appeased by more than perfect stress patterns. You loved the most hidden elements of my songs and appreciated my philosophical moments that asked and answered greater questions than just "do he want the d or not." In addition, the plug dj chats have been amazing and hilarious and every other mostly positive adjective, and getting to know you and your complexities has been wonderful.
Finally, to all of those that consistently gave me feedback when they probably wanted to punch me in the face, thank you. Namely ****natus, Samantha, Buyonce1814, Era, Jeezang, the deceased and possibly perched as a guest right now GotSkill, and to the occasional readers and fellow finalists lovesong and Pears.
Thank you to everyone who's made the Platinum Hit experience what it has been, and may we all unite again when I host and rig Platinum Hit 8
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