The boyband "curse" continues...
after Mark, Stephen, Lance, Dave......
He's had female lovers by the score, but now the pop heart-throb
reveals the incredible truth
IT'S TIME TO TELL: Duncan James confesses
By Dan Wootton, 12/07/2009
POP hunk Duncan James last night confessed his shocking gay secret and
admitted: "I'm bisexual. I've been in loving relationships with men as
well as women - and I'm not ashamed.
"But even though I fancy men, I still fancy WOMEN too."
The Blue singer's revelation will stun his millions of female fans
worldwide plus the dozens of women he has been linked with, including
Geri Halliwell, Tara Palmer Tomkinson, Martine McCutcheon and ex-Big
Brother winner Kate Lawler.
But on the eve of the boyband's reunion tour, the handsome singer says
it is time for him to let his fans know the truth.
In an emotional interview with the News of the World he said: "I was
living a secret life. I went through a process of asking what the f***
am I?
"Am I gay? Am I straight? Am I bi? That's why I was so frightened
about talking. Now, in my early 30s, I know who I am and I'm proud of
who I am. I don't want to hide anymore.
"I don't feel I should launch a big comeback with Blue hiding this - I
don't want to go back to the time in the band when I felt I had to
keep certain things quiet. I want to be OUT and say I've had
relationships with men as well as women.
"So doing this interview gives me the ability to go forward."
I'm one hundred per cent happy to be bisexual
Strict Catholic Duncan, 31, first fell in love with a man EIGHT years
ago - at the height of Blue's fame. Since then he has been with men
and women, and fathered a daughter with his ex-girlfriend Claire
Granger. But it took him years to confess his sexuality to the most
important people in his life - Claire, 32, the other Blue stars and
his mum.
Dunc said: "I wanted to be able to say to someone, 'This is going on
and I don't know what to do,' but I was too SCARED.
"My mother was the closest person to me. But I didn't know how to tell
her because I wanted her to love me and accept me. I was really
paranoid and emotional.
SUPPORTIVE: The Blue boys
"I flew her to Los Angeles for a holiday. I was thinking about it the
whole trip - it was building up in my head.
"I'd never talked to my mum about sex and relationships. It was quite
a taboo subject because we came from a Catholic upbringing.
"One night towards the end of the trip, I knocked on my mum's door
before she went to bed. I was looking down and avoiding her eyes. I
said, 'I need to talk to you'.
"She said, 'Oh my God, what's wrong, are you all right?'
"I responded, 'I need to tell you something. I've been in a
relationship with a guy and I'm really confused about it. I haven't
been able to talk to anyone for a couple of years.'
EX-LOVE: With Claire and baby
"She hugged me and couldn't believe it. She said, 'I thought you were
going to tell me you were dying or something. Hundreds of people have
had things with guys as well as girls. I love you, that doesn't matter
to me.'
"We were flooded with tears. It had come out. I'd told my mum and she
still loved me. I went up to my room after and sat on my bed crying. I
realised, 'I can do this.' It gave me the strength to start opening up
to my close friends." Duncan then told bandmates, Simon Webbe, Lee
Ryan and Anthony Costa.
He recalled: "I thought there might be weirdness but there wasn't. All
of the boys accepted it. We were perceived as lads who went around and
slept with women but on the inside we had a lot of love for each
other. We always hugged and kissed each other.
"I told Simon first. He went straight away, 'Is that all you're
worried about? I love you man. That's cool. You're not alone. It
doesn't change anything for us.'
"I spoke to Lee next then Ant. They were really supportive too. After
that I actually felt quite comfortable with myself."
Duncan's first relationship with a man was in 2001, the year the band
were celebrating their first three No1 hits - All Rise, Too Close and
If You Come Back.
He said: "I'd never been intimate with a man. I'd been quite happy
having girlfriends.
"But I met a guy. He was my friend at first but we took the friendship
to the next level.
"Up until that point I'd never had those feelings towards a guy
before. But this person came into my life and put a spanner in the
works. I definitely loved him. It was my first experience like that.
"I never believed I could have those feelings for a guy. It had been
so closed to me being a strict Catholic."
Duncan was also desperate to hide the relationship because of his
status as one of pop's biggest heartthrobs. He explained: "When you're
a young band trying to be successful, there's a lot of pressure on you
to be clean-cut and accessible to your female fans.
There were signs I was that way inclined
"And it might sound greedy but I genuinely was enjoying having women
throwing themselves at us.
"Yes, I was labelled a womaniser and yes, I did sleep with a lot of
women. But there were tell-tale signs I was that way inclined. I've
always been very theatrical and loved being on stage.
"I was so confused about everything. Blue were becoming more and more
successful. I felt frightened. I bottled it in and didn't tell anyone.
It was almost like it didn't happen.
"I was having relationships with girls as well. This was a secret on
the side. In hindsight, that wasn't the way to deal with it. It's not
nice to treat people in that way."
LADIES' MAN: Dunc & Tara P-T in 2003
The only other boyband star who had confessed he wasn't straight was
Boyzone's Stephen Gately, who revealed in 1999 he was gay.
But just as Duncan was thinking about coming out to his fans in 2004,
girlfriend Claire told him she was expecting his baby. She fell
pregnant when they briefly rekindled their relationship after
splitting up.
However, Duncan was scared that if the public knew he was bisexual,
their child would get teased at school.
He recalled: "I'd had very high-profile relationships. They weren't
frauds or cover-ups. They were real.
"I loved Claire. It wasn't an immaculate conception!
"The first thing I did when she rang me up and told me she was
pregnant was say, 'I need to sit you down and tell you about
EVERYTHING.' I had to be completely honest with her.
"She was amazing and said, 'I love you for who you are. Regardless of
what your sexual feelings are, I know you would be a great dad.
Bringing up our daughter is the most important thing.' But it was
tough during the pregnancy.
"I think she wondered how this was going to affect our daughter when
she was a little bit older.
"Would she get bullied in the playground because her daddy slept with
guys or was bisexual? All of those things went through her head and
mine, if I was honest.
"But we decided it was no longer about a sexual relationship between
us and instead about a strong bond to bring up our daughter."
Their little girl, Tianie-Finne James, is now four years old - and
Duncan has a good relationship with Claire, who's found love with
someone else.
Plus he isn't so scared about his daughter knowing who he is. "I hope
when she grows up she is accepting of her daddy," he said.
Duncan - born in Salisbury, Wilts - is currently single and hoping to
find love . . . with a man OR woman.
He said: "Being bisexual as a man is a taboo subject but I'm 100 per
cent happy with who I am.
"If I have a connection with someone on a deep level that is what it's
about for me.
"And if I'm with someone then I am monogamous.
"I'm sure a lot of gay people would be put off by the thought of
having sex with a woman. It's not like that for me. I still find women
attractive.
"In a man or a woman I look for someone who is sensitive and caring. I
like someone who has nice features too.
"I don't feel it's harder to be with a guy. This has been my life now
for a long time. It's not a big deal to me anymore. But I've slept
with way more women than men.
"I can still look at women now and think they're sexy. I love being
intimate with a woman, I love breasts. I do think girls can be a lot
more emotional.
"I know most gay guys think, 'Bi Now, Gay Later' and maybe one day the
thought of being with a woman won't work for me.
"But likewise, maybe the thought of being with a guy might be the
same. I might want to settle down with a girl to have a family
lifestyle. That appeals to me too.
"Mainly I just want to be happy. I want to be in a long-term
relationship and, most importantly, be in love."
In the meantime Duncan - who was in ITV's Dancing on Ice after Blue
split in 2005 - is concentrating on preparing for Blue's greatest hits
tour, which starts next year.
Afterwards the band are heading back to the studio to record a new
album to rival their previous ones All Rise and One Love.
Duncan says he is ready to face the spotlight again - this time with
fans knowing his secret.
He mused: "I think this is going to shock a lot of people. Obviously
there are some who aren't going to like it.
"But I'm not going to be rubbing this in the public's face because
that's not who I am. I don't want to offend anybody.
"But I'm at a place where I'm finally comfortable with myself after 31
years.
"I'm ready to be honest, not just to myself but to all the fans and
everyone who's been there for me."
He added: "People can say what they want. Everybody's different. I
don't think there is a black and white here.
"Everyone has different attractions to people. This is just the way
that I am."
Source:
http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/show...-with-men.html
He's hot tho.
Duncan
