|
Discussion: How to STOP being Socially Awkward!?
Member Since: 8/4/2009
Posts: 10,735
|
I honestly just pretend like I'm the **** tbh. If people stare at me or whatever I sorta take it as a compliment, like yes bitch I'm pretty thank you. It took me a while honestly, i would stay in my room all day everyday never hanging out with my friends.
Now you wouldn't even know how awkward or shy I was. I'm very comfortable, loud and over the top even, and I'm not afraid to laugh at myself once in a while.
My two biggest faves, Xtina and Rihanna... Both share the same attitude like they just don't care what others think. They help me a lot too. Good luck!!
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 7,705
|
it seems that u are a bit paranoid, cuz sis trust me if u are not doing anything akward trust me no one is watching/judging u... I was kinda like u then I grew up and realised hell no one pays attention lol
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 7,055
|
Quote:
Originally posted by LadyDiana
it seems that u are a bit paranoid, cuz sis trust me if u are not doing anything akward trust me no one is watching/judging u... I was kinda like u then I grew up and realised hell no one pays attention lol
|
Lol Thanks
And Thank you all for the great advice, not just for me but for all the other members struggling with this issue
|
|
|
Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 17,550
|
Get off ATRL
Go outside
Listen to music beyond beyonce
Get a hobby
Just relax and be sincere
|
|
|
Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 20,010
|
Do you feel uncomfortable because of the way you look?
I know its shallow, but if you make yourself look good/attractive you'll feel that people are staring because of how great you look instead of another reason.
|
|
|
Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 20,010
|
Quote:
Originally posted by dirrtydiana
Get off ATRL
Go outside
Listen to music beyond beyonce
Get a hobby
Just relax and be sincere
|
You can't go beyond Beyoncé, hun.
|
|
|
Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 17,550
|
Be yourself and find people who like you for who you are.
Quote:
Originally posted by Timber
You can't go beyond Beyoncé, hun.
|
But you can, sweetie. Unless you want to be stuck in some sort of basic, entry level starter kit. Or you're in the GP.
Oops! You must've meant "I."
|
|
|
Member Since: 6/15/2011
Posts: 10,115
|
I want to be a singer but I suffer the same problem. So your situation is at least better than mine. You dont have a clue how hard it has been for me all these years trying to overcome my fear. You know if you are awkward on stage singing its the worst thing in the world. But we have to do what we have to do. Ive started getting better bit by bit. I have been improving, slowly but steadily. I have faith in you too hun. Just take most of the good advice here in this thread. At the end of the day, everyone is equal so you need to think for you first, no one can stop you. No one is better than you so you dont need to care that much.
|
|
|
Member Since: 3/19/2011
Posts: 4,903
|
Sounds like anxiety. I'd recommend you see a doctor or a therapist.
|
|
|
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 15,736
|
You have to work on your own insecurity and be yourself around others. Find people who genuinely care about you and that will make it easier.
|
|
|
Member Since: 6/26/2012
Posts: 3,002
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Vanitas
You're thinking about social interaction too much. Most people who aren't socially awkward (don't have social anxiety) just speak without thinking about every-single-thing they say. You say that people give you evil stares... that's you thinking about it too much. You have to stop doing that. When you're talking to someone you have to basically speak whatever comes to your mind without thinking about it too much, thing that you probably do unconsciously because you think people will judge you by what you'll say. Most people who aren't socially awkward talk so much daily that they don't even remember what they said or what you said with extreme detail unless it's something meaningful, so stop worrying about it. I know it's easier said than done, but it really all comes down to that. Once you stop worrying so much you'll talk and who knows, maybe people think you're very funny or interesting.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 6/26/2012
Posts: 3,002
|
Quote:
Originally posted by duybeeGAshantiGA
I want to be a singer but I suffer the same problem. So your situation is at least better than mine. You dont have a clue how hard it has been for me all these years trying to overcome my fear. You know if you are awkward on stage singing its the worst thing in the world. But we have to do what we have to do. Ive started getting better bit by bit. I have been improving, slowly but steadily. I have faith in you too hun. Just take most of the good advice here in this thread. At the end of the day, everyone is equal so you need to think for you first, no one can stop you. No one is better than you so you dont need to care that much.
|
Same!
|
|
|
Member Since: 3/13/2012
Posts: 9,318
|
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 7,343
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Worm
This is how I did it.
You need to throw yourself into every situation that terrifies you. The only way to get over it is to get yourself into a series of horrendously terrifying social situations where you can think to yourself 'nothing could ever be as embarrassing or awkward or nerve inducing as THAT.' Grow a pair and force yourself to do all the things that scare you every day of your life - the bigger you build this 'catalogue' of bad experiences to be, the less nervous and anxious you will become because when you've been through worse it is much more difficult to be nervous about the everyday stuff. This is how to solve the problem, and if you keep at it every day then in six months you will be a completely different person. It won't even be difficult any more after about a month or two of doing it.
The other half of the problem is learning how to talk to anyone, anywhere, at any time AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KEEP A CONVERSATION MOVING INDEFINITELY. You feel awkward and anxious, you don't like talking about yourself. That's fine. Two ways to deal with that - first is to build up a repertoire of stories about yourself that you can trot out on demand. They can be stories that happened years ago, they can be made up, they can be stories you've heard from other people, they can be embarrassing stories it doesn't matter, but when you tell them you will tell it as if it happened to you last week. that can fill in for letting someone feel like they are 'getting to know you' when you don't have a fücking clue how to talk about yourself. The second is the trick that works on anyone: the question game. People love to talk about themselves. You can sustain a conversation for a hell of a long time just asking questions, asking follow ups, asking follow ups to those follow ups. You will have the same starter questions for everyone you meet: 'where are you from' 'what do you do' are you seeing anyone', you will have some standard follow ups: 'what interests you about studying that' 'how did you meet him', 'how long ago did you move here' and then you can just piggyback off of whatever they tell you and show a genuine interest in what they're doing: 'so does studying biochem mean you have to learn about how to make different drugs?' 'What kinds of drugs have you made yourself?' 'Isn't that a bit risky, do they just let anyone do it?' 'Has anyone ever got into trouble doing that?' 'What area are you studying now?' 'That sounds interesting, are you enjoying it?' 'What are your tutors like?' Etc etc. You can really sustain a conversation indefinitely just asking questions like that and no one will ever notice that you hate talking about yourself and you have not revealed much of anything to them. The question game is by far the easiest way to get good at faking normal conversations, and it is genuinely interesting to think about what you should ask if you really want to know someone. 'What do you do?' Is the best question of them all, you can branch out to so many different options from that. A little practice and you can get really good at this, really quick.
Once you get rid of the fear and you know how to talk to people (or at least fake it) then you will have overcome your problem. The beginning is always the hardest, and booze can be a great crutch to start.
|
The second paragraph though. Once I started genuinely caring about other people and their lives, my anxiety went away. Conversation started to flow, more so obviously with certain people. I'm still fussy with who I bring into my life but I could still hold a small talk conversation with somebody I despise. Slow process, but it got there.
A lot of it is to do with teenage angst. You grow up and realise that every other kid was thinking similar **** to you about others. You realise how insignificant every random person is and you gain the strength to not let them barricade your goals.
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 7,343
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Lord Blackout
Just remember that a confident person doesn't think they're better or worse than everyone around them, they actually don't compare themselves to others.
|
.
"Confidence is not 'they will like me. Confidence is 'Ill be fine if they don't.' "
|
|
|
Member Since: 12/1/2010
Posts: 23,572
|
It sounds really easy, but it can be really hard when you think people are judging you. What helped me was that I realized people didn't care as much as I thought they did. If someone is looking at you then speak. Sometimes I just smile or say 'hello.'
When talking to other people, get them to talk about themselves. A good amount of people love hearing themselves speak. Then you'll see it is easier too have an organic conversation. I find it easier to guide a conversation to avoid an awkward silence.
Also, remember you don't have to be a social butterfly, just someone who knows how to carry a conversation. The key is, as others have said, is to stop worrying. In addition to that, get people to talk about themselves as it is a nice warm up into a natural conversation. Best of luck!
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 7,055
|
Quote:
Originally posted by keerbyriri
.
"Confidence is not 'they will like me. Confidence is 'Ill be fine if they don't.' "
|
Omg, this ****ing quote
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 7,055
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Pandantic
You have to work on your own insecurity and be yourself around others. Find people who genuinely care about you and that will make it easier.
|
This. I'm exercising and soul searching, not for THEM, but for myself.
|
|
|
|
|