Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
So 1 and 3 just point out how you have to be careful and consider alternate readings of words: sanguine is more often used in the definition you get first when you Google it: "optimistic or positive, especially in an apparently bad or difficult situation." That's the definition I learned for the GRE  so when you pick a special word like that, you have to consider what will come to mind for readers/listeners. And the silhouette being there "just to create imagery" doesn't quite work in a song so about silhouettes and what it means to be one (i.e. to have an elusive meaning). The listener will immediately think about all the other silhouette stuff throughout and connect the speaker to that meaning (they are shifty, like the other silhouettes). The word has strong attachments by the time you come back to it there. Nah mean? (I hope this doesn't sound argumentative  I'm just giving you more feedback!) |
You're totally right about the first part, but it's not really my fault if I use an obscure word and its interpreted wrong, it's risky but it's not necessarily wrong. It's something I knew could happen with that word choice, but I figured it would just be assumed that it would be the other meaning as that was the one that made the most sense. I could have clarified it I guess, but it's a fine line between knowing what to clarify and what not to.
As for the rest, I'm still not entirely sure you're getting what I'm trying to convey. I'm not saying the person was a shady silhouette, I'm saying he appeared to be one thing but turned out to be another. The silhouette isn't necessarily a negative, something could appear to be a ferocious wolf from its silhouette but end up being a friendly dog. I was just getting at the idea that things aren't always what they seem. The same idea wouldn't apply in the case of the bridge, because there is no confusion about what the speaker is, the silhouette comes after the reality. For example, if you see the silhouette that appears to be a pyramid, then realise it's actually just a mound of glass, the next time you see that silhouette, you're not gonna go back to thinking its a pyramid, are you? The silhouettes were always literal silhouettes, but the idea of a silhouette being misinterpreted was the metaphor, not the silhouette itself.
Nah, you've got me on the "breathe radiance" bit. I only put it in because it sounded good and it was better than my original basic "I take a single breath" lyric. 
I wrote my ballad last night (that was supposed to be a blueprint but transitioned more towards a single) and loved it, but woke up this morning and felt look lukewarm about it. I'm gonna continue editing to make it better but if it's still trash I'll have to move on to something else.
