Every collab has a reason to slay and ngl I'm a biT shook

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays Every collab has a reason to slay and ngl I'm a biT shook

Explain.

This wait is intense.

Acceptance (Hugamari)

The first two lines have a really easy rhyme that made me a bit nervous and unfortunately, the rest of the song didn’t exactly ease my mind. This wasn’t as original or compelling as your last two weeks, all because you went back to familiar language/wording and didn’t make the song feel unique enough. Negative feelings are seen as storm clouds; you’re ‘cold’ and ‘alone,’ etc. I did like the start of the 2nd verse though, when the person’s absence is felt by promises that can’t be kept. The bridge isn’t my fave lyrically, but I do like the thematic progression there. The line about holding a memory in the chorus reminded me of H. Duff’s “Arms Around A Memory” so be sure you check that out because it’s great, like the whole album

Deep Freeze (8thPrince)

This was an interesting entry for me because most of the time I liked the emotion evident in the song and liked a majority of the lyrics, but had some minor issues with the lines, where I wanted just one or two words changed to make the line less awkward. (Examples: “Everything has reasons”; “slowly freeze alone and die”; “bring in the deep freeze” [in?].) I think the verses are pretty strong (even though the horizon is defined by the ground, so that doesn’t quite work, though I get your meaning) and there are some great lines in the pre-choruses (love the end of the first one), but the chorus isn’t as strong. I kind of don’t like “baby” too much in a song, and all that “baby” in the chorus doesn’t work for me. The bridge isn’t super compelling either.

If In A Dream (keshaspearsxo)

The grammar is a bit messy in the first verse/pre-chorus (path I’m lead, the verb tense jumping from present to past in the last line of the verse, take me great places) and that usually doesn’t hurt your score too much, but it is a bit grating to read, so please take care with that in the last few weeks! Anyway, I love the mood evoked here and the way the rhythm changes in the verses (with the long lines) and the chorus (with the shorter lines) and the work this pacing does in establishing a sense of both dreaminess and urgency. That sense is developed further in the 2nd verse and bridge, which highlights the kind of dark side to this song and sets up the dream vs. reality dichotomy that makes this one of your strongest entries. I love how you work within that gray area and never make the ‘reality’ part too obvious, which I could see happening in a more amateur entry. Thematically and structurally I think this is great, though some of the lyrics are a little weak or just not particularly well chosen, like land “flooding” eyes, the fear/near rhyme, side of the screen (?).

Make Me A God (ClarksonSlays)

It’s funny that over the past two seasons we’ve had a few entries that make explicit use of mythology and I always feel like the entries are a little forced or unnatural. Whoever hosts next season should make this a challenge! I thought the references here were a little undeveloped, focusing just on one random attribute of each god/goddess rather than some deep understanding of their stories (for example, Medea is used just for ‘strength,’ which could be replaced by tons of other gods). But I think my biggest issue is how this song lacks connection to the modern world; the chorus speaks specifically about Olympus and Athens in a way that doesn’t make the song particularly relevant or relatable. I thought going into it that it would be a metaphor for wanting power like celebrity or something, but it was pretty literal lyrically and I don’t see this being a platinum hit. The rhythm and rhyme scheme were strong for the most part (and there were some nice internal rhymes and lines), so I suppose it was just the subject matter that didn’t feel super compelling to me. The switch at the end felt a little artificial.

Metamorphosis (EuphorianSea)

Well the first verse is super confusing; I’m not sure whether this person is happy or sad and if they are with someone or single or really what’s going on at all. When the subject of the song is so confusing from the beginning, it makes it harder to understand the stakes, though the chorus helps me understand better. Once it’s clear what’s going on, I think this song has a compelling theme and certain parts are imperfect, but good enough (esp. the pre-chorus). The 2nd verse’s rhymes feel mostly forced and it’s the weakest part of the song. The song’s development is a little funny; it seems to add new dimensions kind of abruptly, like the “it takes two to play the game” in the bridge, where suddenly the end of the relationship seems to be the result of some kind of betrayal, which certainly changes the tone. I like it better when the song is saying, “Together we crumbled” and the relationship seems to have just run its course, and that all that’s left for the people are to go through the metamorphosis and move on. The use of “heart” is usually cliche, but I think the way you used it in the chorus was really nice and wistful. I guess as a closing comment, I’ll just note that this song felt a bit scattered like some of your older songs, so as you go into the semi-finals, remember to not make the song try to do too many things; have a streamlined idea that feels focused and fresh.

Silhouettes (Sam)

As usual, this song contains some outstanding lines, but my biggest issue is the use of language that feels shoehorned or inexact, esp. since I’m a bit of a stickler for word choice. Examples: why would murder create a “sanguine” work of art? How does one ‘breathe radiance’? I understand that poetic language doesn’t need to make literal sense, but it does have to make figurative sense at least (like ‘eating my feelings’ for example) and some of your more esoteric references don’t feel like they make any deliberate sense. I love the first verse. I really like the idea about the silhouette and how that applies to real life when you’re getting to know/want to know some enigmatic person. The only thing I don’t like about the silhouette idea is how the speaker becomes the silhouette in the bridge; it could speak to some grand idea of all people being silhouettes, but it just feels a little off that someone who is like a silhouette would be so consumed with slandering another person who is also one.

When Im With You (lovesong)

If dwuw submitted this, I’d be ready for an “I’m Only Me When I’m With You” ripoff Fortunately, you only plagiarize one Taylor phrase (“clear blue water”) and this is a great song, probably my favorite this round. The mood you create is perfect and I love the simplicity of the chorus (although “Real life is too boring” is a weak line and that bit only needs 4 lines, so I don’t know why it’s there). The verses are strong too, though some of the lines are a bit odd. How can one drink “like it’s back to the old days”? Like when you were a pre-teen and shouldn’t have been drinking? Or do you mean like past decades or something, like maybe drinking illegally like you’re in prohibition times? Why do your ribs hurt? Autofellatio? So there are a few oddities that stick out and I don’t see much cohesion in the first verse (about a specific setting and the speaker’s relation to it) and the second verse/bridge (solely about the relationship), but most of the lyrics are compelling and striking, and it’s good to see you working at this level at this late stage in the game. Keep it up bb!

Originally posted by conatus Explain.

You + Pears = It's ****ing you and Pears. Do I need to explain?
Sam + DWUW = Sam slays and DWUW wrote the masterpiece Crystalline.
Lovesong + Huga = They were No. 1 and 2 the past 2 weeks
Euph + 8th = It's like fire and gasoline. Some are worried they'll miss but I'm 90% sure they'll hit like a mofo.

I'm liking Euphorian's concept

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays You're prey?

Originally posted by Era I was just messing with ya Looking forward to working with you

If dwuw submitted this, I’d be ready for an “I’m Only Me When I’m With You” ripoff Fortunately, you only plagiarize one Taylor phrase (“clear blue water”) and this is a great song,

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays You + Pears = It's ****ing you and Pears. Do I need to explain? Sam + DWUW = Sam slays and DWUW wrote the masterpiece Crystalline. Lovesong + Huga = They were No. 1 and 2 the past 2 weeks Euph + 8th = It's like fire and gasoline. Some are worried they'll miss but I'm 90% sure they'll hit like a mofo.

So what you're saying is you don't think you and Era have a reason to slay?

Why do your ribs hurt? Autofellatio?

If dwuw submitted this, I’d be ready for an “I’m Only Me When I’m With You” ripoff Fortunately, you only plagiarize one Taylor phrase (“clear blue water”) and this is a great song, probably my favorite this round.

If I hadn't withdrawn and I had made it to this week, I can honestly say I would hate this challenge.

Imagine if you had to make a song with me.