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Tournament: PLΔTINUM HIT 7
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Yours Truly > My Everything.
I use the singles on ME along with Why Try and Hands on Me, that's it. On YT I use everything except the god awful Almost is Never Enough.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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YT had ha moments, mostly the singles, Loving It, Piano and maybe Daydreamin'.
ME had more duds than YT, but ha highlights >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
If Moonlight / Moonshine / Honeymoon / Twilight or whatever is 90% pop with 2 urban bops tossed to the Walmart exclusive deluxe, I'll fume
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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You'll Never Know bops to the gods 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 9/2/2011
Posts: 21,728
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I don't need to live by your rules
You don't control me
Until you've walked a mile in my shoes
You don't know me
And I know, I know, I know you don't like it
You don't, you don't, you don't know where I've been
It's my life so truth be told
I see you thinking but there's just one thing, dear
And you think you know but you don't have no idea
Think you know me but there's more to see my love
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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 Acceptance (Hugamari)Huga sis, you know I stanned for your last 2 entries, but this gives me literally nothing I can use to help you or give you a solid score. There are no standout lines, the concept is cliche and executed in a predictable way and the content is repetitive. It's basically Ring-A-Round 2.0 in how its simplicity ultimately works against it. There's nothing wrong wih being simple, but then the overly straightforward approach and the infamous deadly mine called basicness must be avoided.
Deep Freeze (8thPrince)
I really like the metaphor you chose and how it serves as the main running theme of the song. Execution wise, this is pretty clumsy. I feel like you already know that. The second half of the chorus is my favorite with the "deep freeze baby - leave, freeze baby" rhyme, that resembles the irresistible, smart, catchy pop lyricism of your early entries. It's not a bad song and I had initially ranked it at #4, but the fact that the chorus is a non-event didn't help you there. Also, there were some one-liners that were pretty much thrown in there, scattered, with no clear rhyming scheme or content purpose.
If In A Dream (keshaspearsxo)
This is a good entry, it evokes a lot of emotion without being overdramatic and it flows really well. The "mirror" line is probably my favorite. "need - freed" is a forced rhyme however and something about "stood waiting in your delight" doesn't sound right to me. Other than that, you did a good job. The reason why I didn't rank this at #1 like Heartwater and Deer is probably because some of the imagery and vocabulary choices did feel a little corny to me, I'll be honest. But I feel like there was no way to execute this concept without a little corniness, plus I have tons of cornier moments in my short catalogue, so whatever.
Make Me A God (ClarksonSlays)
This lacks a second dimension. The concept with the gods and their powers being referenced would work if it was an extended metaphor or at least part of a metaphor, but in your case, it's pretty much literal and it doesn't really work for me. Like, ok, you wanna be a God and you namedrop other Gods that you want to be taught by. So? It's like if Kate Bush's RUTH was "If I only could, I'd make a deal with God to make me a God too". It makes sense, but does it make any impact? Maybe if you had given me some more insight in why you seek for power or what you're planning to do with it (in a more specific fashion), it would work, cause maybe then I would relate to you and it wouldn't feel like you're just calling a bunch of Gods in random order to ask for their powers. Do better faggot
Metamorphosis (EuphorianSea)
I'm not too sold on this, because it doesn't give me a unified vibe. It starts off as a really sweet, happy song about finding love and then it quite awkwardly transitions into a sad song about having to say goodbye. Also, the second verse relies entirely on your most contrived rhyme scheme to date (awhile - worthwile - smile - versatile - vile - lifestyle gives me strong rhyme zone teas). Execution wise, I'll nitpick 2 things I didn't like, although they didn't affect your score all that much. I'm not a fan of the phrase "forever's just a thought". ("thought" feels weak to me, I don't thinkof forever, I dream of forever or wish for it or crave for it, but think is too plain.)
Silhouettes (Sam)
Your best entry since Set Sail. It actually reminds me of Set Sail in a way, because it's built around a very well crafted metaphor, it has great vocabulary and it gives great imagery. And now, I'll nitpick, but bare in mind you scored high for me this week, so none of the following was that serious to me. I'm having a little trouble imagining the pre-chorus being a song rather than a poem. It's probably the most beautiful part of the song, but maybe a little too poetic to be sang along by anyone, much like Bitch Better Have My Money and Your Body. I also thought the last line of the chorus was a little weak in comparison to how strong the rest of the song was. I also thought the "sanctuary - imaginary" rhyme was a little forced and thought the subsequent Kesha promo was lame.
When Im With You (lovesong)
Ugh, this entry has me so weak! Sadly, I can't nitpick or be a good judge about this song, because it hits home in so many ways. It basically describes me and my friends (and most of our teenage) in a very natural, sweet, pure, simplistic way, so it's simply irresistible. I can tell you that avoiding generic lines would be good ("life is boring", "life is tough") and I can also tell you that you chose the wrong week to let the word "bleak" sabotage your bridge cause Fefe's on vacation so no bonus point for you. But other than that, I'm just weak. The "thunder" line is your best one-liner to date 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Wait no FeFe reviews/scores this round?
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 9/2/2011
Posts: 21,728
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Quote:
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and I can also tell you that you chose the wrong week to let the word "bleak" sabotage your bridge cause Fefe's on vacation so no bonus point for you.
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Wait why don't I get what the deal with "bleak" is?
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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Quote:
Originally posted by ClarksonSlays
Wait no FeFe reviews/scores this round?
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Fefe's on vacay and hasn't been on ATRL for 4 or 5 days I think.
I missed his reviews, but the thing is that it would be near impossible for him to change the eliminations. The gap between #5 and #6 is a little too big for just one judge to bridge.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Quote:
Originally posted by Truth Teller
Fefe's on vacay and hasn't been on ATRL for 4 or 5 days I think.
I missed his reviews, but the thing is that it would be near impossible for him to change the eliminations. The gap between #5 and #6 is a little too big for just one judge to bridge.
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Well ****
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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Thank you  I understand your points, I can see where it could be corny, with describing it as a "paradise" or "perfect land" but I didn't really know quite how else to represent heaven  it also probably isn't as relatable as other entries may have been, but I knew I wanted to write this and it felt like a return to form.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 12,615
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It was just not meant for me to make it to the semifinals The one time critical challenge falling on the days I'm out of state and busy during the daytime  I wish I could've gone out putting my best effort into it
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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5 mins 
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Member Since: 2/5/2014
Posts: 29,111
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Quote:
Originally posted by Truth Teller
5 mins |
Are you sad that Jeezang is getting cut again?
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 12,615
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The DEPRESSION that sinks in post-vacay when you realize you can't stuff your face like a pig anymore and waste money at restaurants and now must cook for yourself
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 9/2/2011
Posts: 21,728
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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**** me in the ass cause I love Jesus
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