Betty Boop (8thPrince)

I actually like this title. I think it really works and it isn’t ridiculous. I also think it was a really interesting and innovative idea to work with puberty; it’s a little funny but not as silly as usual I think. It really fits in on Erotica. I actually really like how the grammar was kind of nonsensical, it added character. Always remember to make your songs have character like that, and of course there are other ways to manifest character besides weird grammar. I want you to make sure that whatever metaphors and symbols you use, no matter how cool they sound, actually make sense. For instance, in your song this week you said “You reach out and you pluck parts like stars and moons” but why are the parts like stars and moons. Creativity is great and you should know by now I’m a huge advocate of it but there also must be reason behind it. I also want to make sure that when you use repetition, it has a purpose. “Run your eyes over me / Run your hands over me” felt like it could’ve been condensed into one line.

Different Air (conatus)

You worked well with some key themes of The Suburbs; the small town syndrome, the disillusionment as you stated… it really fits in and I love this type of writing that questions the world around it. I really liked the tone you added to it that made it very unique, and I hope you continue to develop a coherent and distinctive character of all of your songs! The second verse was my favorite because of the great ideas you had, like going to funerals for fun and cracking the area code. I think that when you have a line like “...funerals for fun” with a very strange and poetic idea you could expand on it a little more. Not like the whole song, or even a whole verse; maybe just three or four lines for an idea like that so that you really juice out all the meaning from it. I think the weakest part was the bridge, only because it felt like it was lacking ideas. Repetition is a 100% necessary tool to use in a song but in terms of repetition inside a section (“I wanna _____ cool kids ____”) make sure you have enough good ideas to make it worthwhile for the listener and also make sure it’s not too much repetition; for example, maybe you didn’t need to repeat “cool kids”

Gales Of Time (ClarksonSlays)

I think you really captured the essence of a Florence song; even the title sounds so much like her. It just sounds like something she would make. I want you to make sure every part of the song has something to say in your next songs. Every part of the song shouldn’t be turning the story around, but it should feel like it contributes to the song, otherwise you can just cut it out. That’s my biggest critique for this song. (This is how I felt about your bridge; the song would’ve been stronger overall without it.) I want you to use the creativity you used on this song (“human story / history’s glory”) on all your songs, even the happy ones! It’s hard but it’s possible. Also, it’s ethereal. Love that word. The alliteration in the first stanza was also cool; never doubt the power of the minuscule and subtle.

I Dont Need You (Hugamari)

I think this fits well into the theme of independence on Stripped. I can definitely picture Christina singing this, although in my opinion compositionally her music does not have a distinct nature to it. It’s not full of vast metaphors and poetic language, but neither is Stripped. The strongest part was the chorus. The anaphora of the “I don’t need you” made everything be pulled together and added a sense of cohesiveness, and of course it’s good that it’s the title. In pop songwriting, it’s very useful to so blatantly state what the song is about in the title and to have the idea be so strong throughout the piece. For mass consumption, people like to know what the product (song) is before they open (listen to) it. I think the spoken bridge wasn’t really a wise choice, and really that it would sound cheesy were the song to be actually created. I also want you to make sure in the future lines aren’t existing just for the rhymes, especially if they’re ending the section of a song since that takes away some force from it. Verses, for instance, should end with some of your strongest lines rather than your weakest.

In Your Hand (JustLuke)

It sounds like a Katy Perry track, that’s for sure! I felt like the chorus was missing an opportunity to have a really hooky line. The title, “In Your Hand”, isn’t super memorable since it doesn’t describe something very exciting or different. Pop songs need need need to be memorable, that’s how they survive. Dark Horse is made memorable in large part by the idea of the dark horse which isn’t sung about much in pop music. I’d say that’s my biggest criticism of the song and something you should pay attention to in future writing; a song needs that something that makes it stick. I also think you should try to use some more slant rhymes in the future. Using only perfect rhymes makes the rhyming seem less natural and stick out rather oddly.

Keep Me Satisfied (GotSkill)

This really does sound like an Amy Winehouse song from the first line. You recreated what made her so different outside of one or two moments that were a little too poetic for Amy (“cigarette sigh” “keep the embers”). My favorite part was the bridge, because it had attitude. Amy is known for her very distinctive voice and lyrics in her songs, and the bridge did the best job at doing that. Although obviously you wouldn’t use this voice, and you wouldn’t do this in this round, I hope you as well continue to develop a clear voice that makes us know it’s a GotSkill song. My least favorite part was actually the chorus. For a pop song, ⅜ lines being “Just to keep me satisfied” would be good since the main goal of pop music is to get it stuck in your head. However, I don’t think that it’s as necessary in an Amy song. Try to utilize the right amount of repetition when it’s appropriate, and (not saying it wasn’t in this case) make sure it’s with a worthwhile line

King (lovesong)

I completely agree with everything you said about Beyoncé’s eponymous fifth album. It’s definitely most characterized by its boldness; it will tell you what it’s thinking and it’s not afraid to do so. I think it was a very wise choice to use the word “daddy” because it adds a character to the song. Don’t be afraid to do things like that in the future in order to add character; adding big SAT words is one way of creating a character but another way is just straight-out saying “**** my daddy, **** me good” or “you know what’s up, you a dad I like to ****” and of course there are many other ways to add character but my point is to pay attention to your songs character, and don’t be afraid to try new ones! Some characters are ridiculous and will blatantly state “Love it when I feel you inside of me”, and that’s good. While I know what you’re talking about in terms of how BEYONCÉ’s songs are often two-dimensional, when you use this approach in the future I want you to bridge the gap more. One of the most important places to do this in the transition from one to the other. I understand that there would be an instrumental break before the first verse but a lost heart in clouded thoughts is too much of a divergence from the introduction’s tone. Really though you did a good job and remember you can laern from what you did right as well as wrong.

Land Of The Green (EuphorianSea)

Right away from just reading the title, this felt like a Lana song. I like that you challenged yourself by writing like Lana but not just by going “Daddy drive me fast to Hollywood lolita daddy XD”. I never thought I would give this comment to you but be careful of familiar language. The prechorus made the song lose a lot of power due to this and it just didn’t really add anything to the song. Lana Del Rey is actually good at making songs that aren’t like “filigree anaphora melismatic epiphany vernacular!” but still avoid trite language. Overall for this song I didn’t think you had as many strong ideas as you have in the past. It was pretty tame. Your stronger, more definitive ideas were “whirl, wind” and “we’re all deaf”; try to use more strong, different ideas like these in future songs.

Silver Lining (Era)

Whenever you wrote love songs I always thought the way you talked about relationships was similar to Taylor. You really proved me right with this one though! I especially applaud your courage for doing a storytelling song despite… well… you know. I want you to make sure all your metaphors fit into the song in the future; for instance “Countless voices in the crowd but I only heard yours” where did this crowd come from and what situation are you describing. The metaphor itself makes perfect sense but it doesn’t really seem relevant. That’s only an isolated example. Also remember that while meter is important you can break it a little if you think it will benefit the line (“Helped me back up, swept me away with your sweet smile” is a little confusing without a “you” in the beginning).

Tombstone (keshaspearsxo)

You utilized that simplistic beauty of an Adele song. Ironically one season I had to write a song like Adele and I couldn’t do it (lmao) so props to you! Try to avoid using identity rhymes – rhyming a word with itself – in the future like you did in the bridge because it really sticks outs and takes away from the song by virtue of distraction. I really like how the song starts, inviting us in media res. The beginnings of all your songs should have something captivating or attention-grabbing, and starting in the middle of the action is one great technique to do that! I know this is stupid to say since Adele does this all the time, but I still want you to try to avoid familiar language such as “six feet under ground”. If there’s something you want to describe with familiar language, try brainstorming different ways in which you could express the idea!

Top Level (Sam)

You did it! You wrote a rap song! I think you’ll find that this risk isn’t going to destroy everything you’ve done in the past, but I guess we’ll see come results time. No comment on some of those explanations dd. Something that I feel you and a lot of people who haven’t written rap songs before do is they put all their focus into the verses, which in a rap song make up the vast majority of the song lyrically, but they don’t pay as much attention to the chorus. Even in a rap song, choruses are very very very if not absolutely the most important. In a rap song, don’t put a wealth of great lines in the chorus but it still needs to stand out because that’s the part everyone would know. No one’s quoting the rap in No Type, but everyone knows the chorus. I think you had some really clever wordplay (“****ing number one” was a standout) and I’d love to see you use this swath of creative ideas you have more in the future! I also want you to be a little more careful with phrasing in the future (the “queen of ___” section, you say “I’m” and then “I am” the last time, or saying “That’s right! I said the queen”). Try to erase all subjectiveness you have about your song and just sing (or rap) it in your head.

Wooden Heart (inuborg)

I definitely think you did the task well. And as a song I enjoyed this! You had a great introduction because it grabs attention; that’s something that should be in all your songs! Avoid awkward phrasing, which is often caused by expanding contractions in order to endeavor attaining a consistent meter (“it is too late”). It’s very distracting from the rest of the song. I really liked the creativity you used in creating so many great concepts in one song. While it worked this time remember you don’t always need so many and that you can work with just one idea and make a great song as well as working with a lot like this one. I’d say to try to avoid cheesiness (“echo, echo, echo!”) but that might be more of a preferential thing so I wouldn’t pay it mind if no other judge comments on it.

Are u kidding me I deleted my entire list

You worked well with some key themes of The Suburbs; the small town syndrome, the disillusionment as you stated… it really fits in and I love this type of writing that questions the world around it. I really liked the tone you added to it that made it very unique, and I hope you continue to develop a coherent and distinctive character of all of your songs! The second verse was my favorite because of the great ideas you had, like going to funerals for fun and cracking the area code. I think that when you have a line like “...funerals for fun” with a very strange and poetic idea you could expand on it a little more. Not like the whole song, or even a whole verse; maybe just three or four lines for an idea like that so that you really juice out all the meaning from it. I think the weakest part was the bridge, only because it felt like it was lacking ideas. Repetition is a 100% necessary tool to use in a song but in terms of repetition inside a section (“I wanna _____ cool kids ____”) make sure you have enough good ideas to make it worthwhile for the listener and also make sure it’s not too much repetition; for example, maybe you didn’t need to repeat “cool kids”

Right away from just reading the title, this felt like a Lana song. I like that you challenged yourself by writing like Lana but not just by going “Daddy drive me fast to Hollywood lolita daddy XD”. I never thought I would give this comment to you but be careful of familiar language. The prechorus made the song lose a lot of power due to this and it just didn’t really add anything to the song. Lana Del Rey is actually good at making songs that aren’t like “filigree anaphora melismatic epiphany vernacular!” but still avoid trite language. Overall for this song I didn’t think you had as many strong ideas as you have in the past. It was pretty tame. Your stronger, more definitive ideas were “whirl, wind” and “we’re all deaf”; try to use more strong, different ideas like these in future songs.

Thanks, I get what you mean with the pre-chorus but I felt like there should be a "release" before the chorus since there was so much vivid imagery throughout - I thought it would give it some movement. Of course, maybe I should've added another element to it. I just didn't want it to sound too clunky. I also slightly disagree with the part where you said I didn't have as much ideas. I don't think it's because I didn't have ideas but moreso I had TOO many ideas, they all meshed into one - ultimately making them weaker. I definitely wanted to display a form of nostalgia. And I'm glad you noticed I didn't just "parody" Lana which I find is incredibly easy to do in a challenge such as this. Your feedback will definitely help me next week tho so I appreciate it Thank you for leaving me something to contemplate over!

I think the spoken bridge wasn’t really a wise choice, and really that it would sound cheesy were the song to be actually created.

I also want you to make sure in the future lines aren’t existing just for the rhymes, especially if they’re ending the section of a song since that takes away some force from it. Verses, for instance, should end with some of your strongest lines rather than your weakest.

Originally posted by conatus Truthy, are we getting the results today or tomorrow?

Originally posted by Truth Teller Fefe + Bloomers + eliminations + new challenge will all be tomorrow starting at 1PM EST and ending at 3PM EST.

Originally posted by Truth Teller Fefe + Bloomers + eliminations + new challenge will all be tomorrow starting at 1PM EST and ending at 3PM EST.

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays TT better shade Ocean ***** and Stan for Silver in my review.