Discussion: Gay men who date/marry women? - Page 4

Guernica

ok but why do y'all not seem to take the woman's feelings into consideration at all. Finding out her husband is gay would be very difficult and upsetting for her, especially if they've been together for a long time and have children together. Is she supposed to just get over it? Do you not see any problem with lying, outright deceiving a woman and wasting her time? There's two people involved in this ya know.

pinktennisfreak

They're under constant pressure from family and homophobic society. Many men think that if you don't have girlfriend/wife, that you're automatically gay. And we all know that people like to gossip a lot, so constant gossip can actually harm relationships in family.

I know some men actually who are looking for a lesbian to marry. They want to make some kind of deal. They're gonna have absolute freedom and date others, while still being happily married straight couple in front of friends and family.
I spoke to one man who says that if they can't get a child, they'll adopt or do a surrogacy thing.

And I think that this is perfectly okay. Especially in homophobic societies.

Sazare

Quote:

Originally posted by Cherry

So y'all are all for "do what you want" when it comes to anything including INCEST, but you have a problem with an individual's monogamous sexual choices.

Um because "do what you want" stops being a good life motto when it actively hurts others and incest between two consenting adults hurts no one; deceiving your partner so you don't have to come to terms with your sexuality does. They're really not comparable in the slightest. But I think you already know this.

M A R C

They deserve no sympathy.
They basically waste that woman's time, lying and faking their feeling towards her.

Cherry

Quote:

Originally posted by Sazare

Um because "do what you want" stops being a good life motto when it actively hurts others and incest between two consenting adults hurts no one; deceiving your partner so you don't have to come to terms with your sexuality does. They're really not comparable in the slightest. But I think you already know this.

You are defending incest right now. Incest. As in, sleeping with a member of your own family. I just...

Sazare

Quote:

Originally posted by Cherry

You are defending incest right now. Incest. As in, sleeping with a member of your own family. I just...

Wow that's a good point. Now that you've repeated the word "incest" and put it in bold it really puts that issue in complete perspective.

Please stop.

Cherry

Quote:

Originally posted by Sazare

Wow that's a good point. Now that you've repeated the word "incest" and put it in bold it really puts that issue in complete perspective.

Please stop.

Do you not realize what you're saying?

First of all, incest DOES hurt others when two idiots procreate and the baby comes out with physical/mental deformities. Secondly, in what twisted world is it acceptable to have sex with someone you share a genepool with? And where do you draw the line? Do you think it is acceptable, for example, for an adult man to have a sexual relationship with his mother and create babies?

There are many things in this world today that I do not agree with personally, but this is something I cannot even begin to understand how anyone would think it is right. That's just foul and disgusting on so many levels.

Su-Barbie-A

Ok but why you girls are bringing up third worlds?
What about the ones who live in North America or Europe and are privileged?

ToxicKat

I have no respect for them. How can they do their partner like that? What a waste of a life partnership on their part since they're with someone who truly doesn't love you/ is attracted to you and living lie.

chilicheese01

Quote:

Originally posted by CakeLike

I don't judge them, family and community pressures can be some of the hardest things to have to face. Infact i would say they are incredibly brave as they live a life pretending to be the ideal male to keep those around them happy at the expense of his own happiness.

If they were truly brave, they would just be themselves...

Wonda

If they do so just as a coverup, and have no real romantic feelings towards the woman, then that's just tragic and disgustingly insensitive.

Bey_Rihstan

They get no sympathy. Don't ****ing make a commitment to someone if it's a lie

Pastoral

Quote:

Originally posted by Exzime.

Even if they do, the choice of that will not exactly be great - everyone somehow will start to get suspicious of you - you will be pressured by all of your family, relatives, all of your co-workers. Some people will try to find you a wife, some will start talking behind your back. Your name will start to look bad sooner or later. Not a lot of people can stand facing that everyday of their life. If more suspicions arise, people will start observing you, dig you up. And you can just be in serious trouble if they find out about you. So I can understand why. And there are some people I know facing the same thing as well. Leaving your country will probably be the best thing but not everyone can do that. I can't really say anything much about them, I mean, we have to be in their shoes to know exactly how it feels. It just seem so easy for us to say they have a choice etc. When there is actually much into it.

I agree exactly. Most of the replies in this thread come from people who live in the US or Europe. Of course you could say you have a choice, for you live in a land of liberty. Why does no one seem to get this point? Not everyone lives in countries that are liberal enough to allow mature men to remain unmarried.

And some of you are beyond ignorant. If some of us have the choice to move to the US/ Europe, we would have done so without you reminding. But some of you never think about that. You only think in your mindset.

Haus_of_Will

My brother had a beard he'd show our parents for about five years until he was ready to come out.

They didn't actually date but were besties in college and she was very understanding.