I’m Gay (JustLuke) : I’m not sure if you understood the assignment because this is not a relatable lead single. The subject matter excludes the majority of the population.
Embrace (EuphorianSea) : Halfway through this song I was so excited for Lisa Butfest to get a hold of it, but then the second verse hit: did you just give up? The first verse can get a bit cheesy at times but I still really liked it, and the chorus seems a bit off tonally—the verse and pc are so empowering and about being there for the person FOREVER but then the chorus says nothing ever lasts (?). But the 2nd verse was so random and weak lyrically and I’m kinda sad about it.
Ferris Wheel (Era) : I liked the imagery and movement in this song and how short and sweet the P-C was. It feels a little bit wordy though; I think the easiest way to strengthen it would be to edit it down and strip out unnecessary or repetitive language. The other major issue I had was in word choice: there were a lot of words that felt shoehorned in or just sort of inexact, the biggest offender being “unseal” in the chorus. I also don’t really understand the “rush of breaking down” part, because the song is very much about feeling euphoric and complete, not like a break down—I can see how the speaker is ‘breaking down’ their walls or something, but the connotation of the phrase doesn’t quite work for me. The bridge is kind of a throwaway bridge to me.
Heartwater (keshaspearsxo) : This was pretty cute and good for the challenge. I liked the imagery and the metaphor BUT I would actually take out the last two lines of the chorus; while I think all the ocean in the heart stuff works, I actually think saying the word “heartwater” in the song is awk. It kinda just sounds like someone’s heart is leaking water. I really like the structure of the verses. I think the structure in the chorus is harder to follow (as in, I could sing along to it easily like I could with the verses).
already on my way to becoming big
