Tournament: PLΔTINUM HIT 7 - Page 1194

conatus

Quote:

Originally posted by Truth Teller

Of course. It wouldn't be a PH reviews day without his iconic comments

I'm ready!

keshaspearsxo

Quote:

Originally posted by Truth Teller

People already saw them, so I didn't bother.

But next time, noone should say "tell TT to post them sooner

" cause that's what happens when I rush. The reviews were supposed to be posted 10 minutes later

take your time,ride slow, enjoy it

Truth Teller

Batch #2

Candlelight (GotSkill) : I love, love, love the line “Only good for a one night stand”. The whole song but especially that line perfectly encapsulates a feeling of hopelessness and self-hate. That idea is so powerful, that idea that with remorse someone admits they are only good for a one night stand. I don’t know that really got me. In different context that line would not be so special. Good job.

Deep Within (lovesong) : Coolcool! I like the meaning behind it, it really makes you think. My main criticism is that the chorus doesn’t feel like a chorus. It feels like a line from a non-chorus section of a song. I feel a little useless though since I can’t explain why it does, but I guess for next time it’s something to be aware of.

Eggs (DripDrip) : Drip, this emphasis on the eggs. It could pass if it wasn’t the title of the song. I like the idea behind it but I don’t like how so much of the song revolves around it, it’s odd. I also don’t know why you were dancing in snow, I’m guessing it’s a euphemism but it’s a weird one. I did like your approach to this otherwise though, nice job!

End This Show (JustLuke) : I think the fact you included syllable counts just goes to show your focus was too much in meter. Not that the content was bad but I felt like it could’ve used more attention when I was reading it. Don’t worry so much about the meter.

I’ll Remember… Forever (Kesha Rose) : Reading this song was like eating plain Wonder bread. It just was lacking a personality. I have a gut feeling this is probably a personal song to you but that feeling wasn’t conveyed to me as a reader. I’ve been a part of so many seasons of Platinum Hit before, and this song didn’t really say anything new to me.

Ocean Lips (ClarksonSlays): I get your less-is-more tactic for the chorus but I felt like it didn’t work very well. It didn’t feel strong enough to be a chorus. I did like how you used your picture and really went in with the whole water thing. I liked the rest of the song for the most part but the chorus really did drag it down for me. My score might seem a little harsh (by my standards which are very high scores) but the chorus is the most important part of the song and thus should be weighted the most.

Sea and Thunder (Pecinta Mariah) : This song felt unorganized to me. It bothered me that the song was mostly about light when that wasn’t related to your picture and wasn’t in your title. The triple identity rhyming of light in the second verse really just threw me for a whirlwind as well. The second half especially of the bridge also just sort of… happened.

This Candle is Our Love (Keshafied): This was a really uncreative approach. doc_smiely.png. Surprisingly you’re the first person I’ve given this comment to so far, but I just think it was too trite and too typical. It didn’t feel like you worked hard at how to interpret the picture and how to express your ideas, you just did the easy, more-traveled road. I want to see you wrestle through that less-traveled road and see where you end up.

Trigger (Buyonce1814) : The chorus didn’t work for me. It’s a powerful question but it felt like it was being used to generate a reaction. The bridge felt the same way. You ask these questions, which is good and which makes one think, but you also weren’t afraid to unleash such incredibly personal, explicit ideas about self-harm throughout too many parts of the song, which made it feel like you were trying to get a reaction.

What You Feel (Saint): This was a song that felt lost in the mix for me. There weren’t lines that stood out much to me, the lines just happened and while they told me what the meant, they didn’t make me feel anything. It felt removed, I didn’t feel your love as I read this.

Batch #3

Dreaming of You (Era) : You had some nice poetic images but it wasn’t very memorable. I’ve read so many songs using the four seasons and so many songs about saying goodbye and so many songs about crying. It definitely was not bad at all, and I would’ve given it a higher score if there were less contestants, but since there’s so many right now you really have to work to stand out otherwise you will be forgotten. Lines like “curtain of insecurity” were definitely your highlights.

Flame Out (Element) : Reading this song made me feel like you were trying to get a reaction out of the judges, and while of course you’re going to try to get a reaction, I’d rather not have it so obvious and overt. In addition, the second half of the chorus just felt so plain. I can’t count how many songs I’ve heard that do the day/way/change thing or some variation of it.

Flowers to Burn (Blue.): I have no idea what your verse rhyme scheme is. It goes from AAAB to AABC to ABCD to ABBC. Make sure you keep it consistent. Avoid usage of things like “oh so” that add nothing to the song but fill space. Songs really aren’t that long, so if your song has 140 words and eight of them are “oh so”, in a way your song is 6% fluff. Some of your images were nice like memorizing each other’s faces.

Hula Hoop (8thPrince) : I thought this was pretty cool. However, it was really weird you used this central space motif and then when we got to the chorus you’re like “jk lolol hula hula hula hoop!” Any idea that’s used a lot throughout the song should be used in your chorus. The contrasting ideas thing doesn’t work when the ideas are completely unrelated.

Hurt You Back (highdefinition) : What? In songs like these, you have to be very careful. Lines like “it makes me happy to see you dead” just feel like… why are you writing this song? It way too explicit, and I cannot empathize with the protagonist who seems to be very cold and unlikable.

Painkiller (The Original High) : The idea of someone being your drug is a tad overdone, I don’t even think you were the only person this round who submitted a sexy song about that. I felt like the chorus could’ve used more rhyming, having the odd lines (first, third, etc) rhyme and not the even ones (two, four) feels a little weird, and while the even ones didn’t have to rhyme every time once or twice would’ve helped.

Purchase Me (HausofNiko) : This title is wrong on so many levels, omg. I thought the waitress/witness part was just kind of random. Your verses could probably have used some reduction. It’s also a little weird to refer to your heart as a teen. Really I just felt like there were a lot of weak lines you could’ve cut out and you could’ve had a much stronger song.

Same Place (swiftie13) : This was a similar thing I said to other contestants who took a story-telling approach this round. If you do that, I really want you to show and not tell. Don’t just tell me what happened like you’re reading a children’s book to me. Show me the place, show me the experience. The chorus was a bit trite as well. I’ve heard variations of most of those lines many times before.

Tree (keshaspearsxo) : The first half chorus was lacking. It felt like what was happening was not important enough to be the chorus at all. Choruses are the focal point of your song, what’s happening in them has to be more important than anything else. Also, just make sure there’s no filler, because every single line is important. I could feel some lines that could’ve been cut in the bridge. The idea behind the song was interesting and different from what I’ve read so brownie points to you.

Window Pane (Musickid203) : Holy ****, the line “I'm black and blue like a work of art” is amazing. That was a great way to reel me in. So powerful. Really the fact that you had that one line made me feel emotion right away and thus I felt in or the rest of the song. I’m kind of confused by some lines though, like the “food to my soul” part. Why is the house food to your soul?

Untitled (moijejoue): The first verse didn’t really feel like lyrics. They felt more like a poem. The distinction is something I’m bad at explaining (sorry) so try looking at some poems and then looking at some lyrics and find the distinction for yourself. The major drawback was that this song felt bipolar. The tone in the first verse is just flipped on its head. The rest of the song was ratchet, yes, but it wasn’t clever and the cursing honestly took away from the experience.

swiftie13

Quote:

Originally posted by Jezang Looz

I know the acclaim just won't let up

I'm jealous

It's my first really acclaimed track

Era

TT post the next batch sooner

swiftie13

Quote:

Originally posted by Era

loved your song

you deserve it

thank you so much

Truth Teller

Quote:

Originally posted by swiftie13

It's my first really acclaimed track

You better NOT pull an Eros next week

Tymps.

WAIT

WHEN l GAVE MY SCORE BREAKDOWN, I FORGOT THAT I GAVE TWO TENS

SO TWO PEOPLE HAVE TENS FROM ME

SORRY

minho

I need to catch up!

Thank you Tymps so much for the positive review

Truth Teller

Quote:

Originally posted by Era

TT post the next batch sooner

Look 2 posts above yours

Temporal

Quote:

Ocean Lips (ClarksonSlays): I get your less-is-more tactic for the chorus but I felt like it didn’t work very well. It didn’t feel strong enough to be a chorus. I did like how you used your picture and really went in with the whole water thing. I liked the rest of the song for the most part but the chorus really did drag it down for me. My score might seem a little harsh (by my standards which are very high scores) but the chorus is the most important part of the song and thus should be weighted the most.

Mess at him dragging the chorus and FeFe absolutely praising it

BlueM

Quote:

Originally posted by Truth Teller

Roses (BlueM) : Similar slightly to my comment for Sam , this felt odd because it didn’t feel like a song anyone would sing. I can only picture someone reading this. The lines didn’t feel special in any way, they just felt like you were telling me what happened without anything else. A storyline can be good but without anything else it’s like a Christmas tree with no ornaments.

I give it up at this very point

conatus

Oh, mess at me and Jorge no longer being Tymps.' highest scores.

Truth Teller

Quote:

Originally posted by BlueM

I give it up at this very point

Don't give up

Temporal

Quote:

Originally posted by Golden

Predicted Top 6 of this competition:
1. Conatus
2. GotSkill
3. ClarksonSlays
4. Eros
5. Pecinta Mariah
6. EuphorianSea

I'd be okay with 3rd tbh

Era

Quote:

Dreaming of You (Era) : You had some nice poetic images but it wasn’t very memorable. I’ve read so many songs using the four seasons and so many songs about saying goodbye and so many songs about crying. It definitely was not bad at all, and I would’ve given it a higher score if there were less contestants, but since there’s so many right now you really have to work to stand out otherwise you will be forgotten. Lines like “curtain of insecurity” were definitely your highlights.

I totally understand

Thank you for the feedback

conatus

Quote:

Originally posted by BlueM

I give it up at this very point

Don't do that!

UFO

I was expecting more lashings tbh

Musickid203

Quote:

This Candle is Our Love (Keshafied): This was a really uncreative approach. doc_smiely.png.

This made me scream

minho

And your review is actually really helpful. I think the biggest problem I have is that I need to be more meticulous with fine details.