Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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 Batch #1#OTF (Hugamari) : It’s obvious from this song that this isn’t your usual style. It felt like you were trying really hard to switch your style. As a result, some lines felt strange and rather awkward. “I stay on that fly like wings” doesn’t even make sense in a rap song imo, and the bingo thing was just a little much. I appreciate the initiative to try new things but this does not work with how you write.
Break the Skyline (Jezang Looz) : Nothing in this song really stopped me in my tracks. Maybe you could reply to this comment and give me a breakdown on what each stanza of this song means in relation to the song’s whole context? Why did his/her heart stop beating? If he/she is dead, what does that have to do with breaking the skyline?
Claustrophobia (EuphorianSea) : As usual, I can commend you for your incredulous creativity even in a song that you’ve obviously dumbed down a little for us. However, the use of “claustrophobia” still doesn’t make sense. The protagonist does not seem to be scared of small spaces, the song even says he/she is willing to go anywhere. Also I want you to read your songs aloud before you submit them. The cat thing is just comic in the middle of the song.
Crystalline (dwuw) : I enjoyed this! Crystalline is just such a great word. You were able to work the beach into a song completely unrelated to the beach otherwise. I can recognize that some of the lines aren’t 100% perfect but for some reason I feel like the whole thing really just works.
Far Away From This (YoungCalifornia) : I hate to be nitpicky right away in your comment but the last line of the first verse is weird, and it’s because when two words rhymed they’re both emphasized because of it, so having the “cold and damp” part emphasized rather than the dying part was weird. Anyhow the lack of subtlety surprisingly didn’t bother me that much. I just felt like the chorus was lacking a kind of line that would make your song special.
Fix (conatus) : Bathroom lines? Hunty what? I’m guessing you were trying to say doing lines of cocaine without outright saying doing lines of cocaine but it literally sounds like you’re standing in the line of the bathroom which is pretty funny lol. Besides that I thought was a cute, fun song! I like that you’re showing versatility. Although “put things in perspective or you'll lose who you are” felt like you were trying to put a philosophical message in the middle of this fun sex song which was weird.
Flowers (Sam) : While I appreciate that you utilized a story-telling style, I don’t think you needed to outright just plainly state everything that happened. I felt like I was reading a kid’s book and not a song. I think that’s this song’s fatal flaw, I wish you did more showing and less telling.
Into You (Eros) : Honestly this song just kind of bored me. There wasn’t anything wrong with things like rhyme scheme and meter, but in terms of content I felt like there wasn’t anything happening. you definitely didn’t take this anywhere I thought it wouldn’t go, every turn was expected. Surprise us! That being said I didn’t dislike it, it just didn’t interest me. It just got lost in the shuffle of all the other sex songs.
Melt (Nait Phoenix) : Cute. I’m picturing this as a slow R&B song. It was so sexual, I could totally picture this coming on the radio in the car with my parents and feeling super awkward as you make references to your dick size. That being said, the second verse just felt empty, like it was there because you needed a second verse.
Rest // Repose (inuborg) : This was a great, great use of the word repose. It felt very natural but also added a lot of flavour. Some lines were just weird, though, like “cultivate the spoil” felt strangely enigmatic in this otherwise straightforward song. Also “your body’s my asylum, I suppose”. That last part just weakens it a lot.
Roses (BlueM) : Similar slightly to my comment for Sam , this felt odd because it didn’t feel like a song anyone would sing. I can only picture someone reading this. The lines didn’t feel special in any way, they just felt like you were telling me what happened without anything else. A storyline can be good but without anything else it’s like a Christmas tree with no ornaments.
Tidal Wave (Obsession) : I liked how you interpreted your picture and didn’t just go for the literal. That first line is a great example of a first line that grabs you and forces you to pay attention. (For those who are reading other people’s comments, the line is “Since we first met, I’ve been afraid of your power”.) There’s a certain charm to this song, the more times I read it the more I like it. The best I’ve seen from you so far!
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I have two finals due next Friday and one due on Saturday, so I'm not sure if reviews will happen next week 
I'll def try to give scores even if I can't give reviews.