Quote:
Originally posted by cloudinthesky
This.
Also this. I don't see why he thinks it's okay for him to use the word to "defuse the power behind it" when he's not even part of the LGBT community.  It's literally equivalent to a white person saying the n-word and rationalizing it by saying "I'm using it to defuse the power behind it. I swear I'm not racist, I have black friends!". It doesn't work that way.
If you're not part of the marginalized group then you don't get to use the words that have been used by their oppressors to dehumanize them. Period. End of story. There is no other side to it.  Some people need to just accept that there are certain words that you don't get to use. 
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Basically this.
If anyone wants some context behind why the f-word is dehumanizing, watch this
clip. I won't embed because playback has been disabled. Start at 5:00 or watch the whole scene.