Yeah & I identify with a lot of you guys said here already. It's really scary sometimes when u just HAVE to cry without any important reason... just because u strart overthinking yourself, realize that you are lonely as ****, worry about the future and what others think of you, have a bad day or get disappointed or irritated by something which is not even important.
For example a few days ago, one cute boy randomly started talking to me in a shop, that he saw me in my school and wanted to get to know me more, but I kinda freaked out and ended the dialogue before it even started. I felt so horrible about myself for not even smiling at him & wasting this possible chance like that
![eli's_rhythm](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/korn0818/ATRL_Smilies_All/atrlers/eli_zps0932edf9.gif)
Like yeah, it's really funny and now I laugh about it, but it really ultimately ruined my day
Also the worst thing is when someone is wrongfully screaming at me or I embarrass myself. That can be really hurtful.
It's weird cos I was never really in love with nobody and I don't feel several important emotions like happiness, love, care, the feeling of looking forward to something & pleasure from success, pleasure in general....however I always act polite and kind. I still think I'm a good person.
But some days I feel just so empty and careless. I literally have no feelings to anyone and will say ugly things to people who don't even deserve it. The day after I regret it and blame myself which makes me even more down.
Then there is my social isolation. I'm really talkative but somehow I am afraid of people, especially uncomfortable in bigger groups in which I don't know 100% of the people. That led to me having no real friends.