Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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REVIEWS part 2
The songs are in alphabetical order
 A Hug Positive : I absolutely loved the concept. It was very touching and you made it feel effortless and genuine. I also absolutely loved the repetition of "how could this be", it was very well thought and made the verse come together beautifully.
Negative : There isn't any rhyming in the song. The rhythm is good, so it does feel like a song even without rhyming lyrics, but I'd love to see some rhymes from you in round 2 
Baby We re Through
Positive : You definitely know how to write a song. The rhythm is on point, the concept is specific and well executed and there were no mistakes. I'm also a big fan of the final 3 lines of the verse
Negative : I feel like the chorus could have hit much harder. The highlights of the song are all in the verse for me. ]
Beep Beep
Positive : I love the verse, it's perfectly executed. Every single line is awesome, the rhyming is flawless and the word choices are on point. I also love how the chorus mostly includes short lines, cause that gives me the feeling of speed and excitement. This is as good as a song about sneakers can get
Negative : It's a song about sneakers 
Boy Blue
Positive : There are many wonderful phrases and word choices in there. "Does he know... soul" (I won't post the full lyric  ) is my favorite, really beautiful. I also love the imagery you used, it's pretty vivid and well selected to describe a crush
Negative : Out of all songs I received, this is the one with the most mistakes. I already said I wouldn't take points off for spelling and stuff like that, but this song has about 11 mistakes, including missing words or words that shouldn't be there. That ruined your rhythm and, ultimately, your song. I also feel like some parts don't make as much sense as I'd like them to.
Box
Positive : I LOVE the concept and you definitely painted a pretty good image there. I can feel the frustration, the desperation and the struggle. 
Negative : I'm going to need a little more attention to rhyming cause there are only 2 rhymes throughout the song. Also, I'm not a big fan of the second line of the pre-chorus.
Breaking
Positive : There are some nice phrases in there, like the first one. And the little imagery with the water and the earth was a good choice
Negative : The song lacks a lot of fundamental things, like rhythm, meter and a logical connection between the verses and the chorus. There are also quite a lot of mistakes and the 4th line of the chorus does not fit with the vibe the rest had created.
Breath
Positive : You did a good job with the rhyming and the pace, you paid attention to syllabes which is already more than anyone could ask for from a round 1 entry 
Negative : I feel like the song is so short that the topic doesn't become fully clear. Also, I wish the chorus was either longer or more powerful or clearer or maybe all 3, if possible.
Cant Let You Go
Positive : It's fun, well executed and I loved some of the vocabulary of the verse ("enticing" and "indecisive" added a lot to the level of the song)
Negative : I have nothing against basicness. I've written it, listened to it, stanned for it, paid money to download it, bought tickets to see it live etc. But when you submit something this simplistic, in terms of both topic and execution, to a competition about lyrics with 60+ other participants, you need to find a way to spice it up a bit or at least make up for the lack of originality with very accurate meter or some catchy punchlines. I hope you make it to round 2 so that I can see you do one of the aforementioned .
Ceiling Of Fate
Positive : Conceptually, this song is superior to most other entries for the title and topic alone. Making a song called Celing Of Fate is a brilliant idea and a perfect way to express the feeling of trying your best to rise and fly but being restricted, like you weren't meant to go any higher
Negative : There is literally no logical connection between the lines. It's like you brainstormed a lot of beautiful imagery and fancy phrases and forced them together. Also, I read it 4 times and there are a few lines that still don't make any sense to me. There are also plenty of meter issues
Clouds
Positive : Aww, it's a really cute and relatable concept. I liked the final 3 lines and the first 2 lines, so it started and ended well, which is good. I also got a pretty good sense of pace in the chorus.
Negative : Lines 6 and 12 let the song down... way down. I'd also love to see more attention in a specific topic, cause the song feels a little too general, which is fine for round 1.
Dancing Stripper
Positive : It's really fun and really catchy. I can imagine it being played on radio. I also envision Flo Rida singing it and making a World Star Hip Hop exclusive video for it, but maybe my imagination ran too far with this one
Negative : I'm a fan of simplicity, but the verse was too simple even for me. The topic you chose also limited you, cause it's not easy to write a quality song about a stripper. If you make it to round 2, I'd love to see you tackle a more intriguing topic in a more intriguing way
Deadly Crime
Positive : It's a very well written song. The rhyming is on point and the topic is specific. You get the point across. Also, the chorus is really strong and perfectly completes the verse
Negative : Not a big fan of the second half of the verse. Also, given the topic you chose, I'd love to see some more intriguing and unusual word choices.
Dear God
Positive : I loved the pre-chorus, I think it's one of the best I read in this round. Every line of it is perfect and I love how you handled the rhythm of it with the number of syllabes. I also love the end of the chorus cause it gives me a feeling of urgency and passion. I also loved the last line of the verse, cause it was raw, unfiltered and just brutally honest.
Negative : I wasn't really into the third line of the verse and the third line of the chorus, especially the former.
Empty Thoughts
Positive : It feels very spontaneous and effortless. It's not overdone or overthought and it flows very well. I loved the last 4 lines of the verse and how nonchalant and at the same time frustrated the chorus sounded in comparison
Negative : I'd love to have a few more standout lines in the verse. Some lines that could really be memorable among all these entries and elevate the song to a new level.
Good Girl
Positive : I like how you handled the subject and I like that you wrote the song from the guy's perspective, cause we usually get the heartbroken girl's perspective in this type of songs
Negative : Not a big fan of the final 2 lines of the verse. I think the chorus could also use some tweaking here and there
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