Discussion: Being Gay in a small town..

Jay Fenty

Growing up Gay in a small rural town, Im hoping that there are at least a few members that can relate to this experience and we can discuss.

With my situation its not exactly that the town I live in has a backwards opinion on LGBT people, there are actually a lot of openly gay people that I know. Its just that I've known these other gay people for almost my entire childhood, so there isnt really anyone new or exciting to meet. We all know each other and we arent here for each other basically.

Im moving soon to a place that will be a lot more LGBT-centric, but right now im anxious. Its just frustrating to have my love life be at such a stand still all because of where I live, I feel like there is no one to meet and that Ill be single forever. Whenever I check Grindr its literally all old ugly men. Its really frustrating when I think about this hence why I just made this thread.

Discuss.

Rihinvention

Download Scruff and change your location to where you want to live/where you plan on moving to.

Scruff >>>>>>>>>>>>> Grindr

Nemo

I grew up in a very small town (which I still live in) I graduated with like 60-70 people. From what I know, I was the only "out" boy in my graduating class (I never really "came out" because I never liked the concept of that, but yeah) But meeting other people can be pretty easy. With all of those apps out now, you just have to set your settings to match what you're looking for. I met a couple people from them and it wasn't too hard to do. Turns out, almost every guy on them wants to hook up and/or have sex aka something I don't want at all lol. My attempts at finding a possible love interest from them have always failed, so I stopped using apps and now I'll just let whatever happens, happen... But if you're looking for some D, it won't be hard at all, even if you're not out

hellocory

Grew up in a town of 6000 and went to a private school. Graduated with 72 people. My mom was always cool with gays though Since she has a gay brother.

Now I live in Cincinnati which is one of the biggest cities in Ohio

LaNathan

Well, let me just mosey on in here.

I've grown up in a very rural area all my life and I totally understand what you are talking about. My graduating class is only 89 people and there are literally NO gay boys here. I'm not out publicly yet (I don't really find the need to do it in school but I have to tell my family soon), but I've talked to several people from different school districts and there are little to no gay boys here. My whole region only consists of lesbians and bisexual girls. There's only one rumored bisexual guy and that's who I'm crushing on.

But it's really hard to talk to people, all my relationships have been in different states or around 100 miles away. Those dating apps always suck ass as well, I want a love interest that could turn into a relationship, not some hookup underneath a damn bridge. I'm slowly deleting myself off of all those apps since I never find anything that lasts or anything of value relationship-wise. It's just really hard to do because I always second-guess myself and think that my "dream" guy might be there and I'm not going to find him

That's why I'm planning on moving to either California or New York for college so I can be happier and live a better life where I'm accepted. Also, there's a plethora of gay men there so I can have a greater diversity of friends that understand me. Finally, I can do whatever the hell I want with my body such as get skinny (my family believes that being bigger is better, I however do not) , workout, dye my hair, etc.

Haunter

Move to a major city.

Jezang Looz

Eh. My HS had 4000 students and my graduating class had like 980 people.

Then I moved to an even bigger city (Philly) and it doesn't feel like anything changed. You start to see the same people around and my love life isn't any better than it was before. I guess for you your options are REALLY limited, but even when you have a lot of options, honestly a lot of them just aren't good enough.

Never sell yourself out for less than what you deserve when you do finally move 'cuz I've met so many entitled rich kids at uni that started experimenting but they think they're the **** so be prepared for a lot of power struggles + potential unfaithfulness from your partner.

Ferrer

I bet in those towns there are more gay guys but they just aren't open about it...

Jay Fenty

Thanks for the feedback, I understand what you all are saying about wanting a real relationship and not just a Grindr hook up. The first guy i was ever with I met him through grindr and i was hoping for a real relationship but of course he just wanted a physical relationship, we did see each other for 3 months so it was a first taste of being in somewhat of a relationship with a guy. The whole situation left me really f*cked up and i just want to have a real emotional relationship with a guy who can make me forget about all that happened in the past.

At this point I would just be satisfied with a gay friend, just another person like me who I can talk to about things that all the straight people around me dont understand, someone i can have fun and totally be myself around. No physical relationship necessary..