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News: Daughter of Two Moms Comes Out Against Gay Marriage: Update
Member Since: 10/19/2010
Posts: 3,941
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Quote:
Originally posted by OnlyXtina
I'm strongly against gay parenting aka gay people who have kids, but not gay marriage or being gay itself. My believes are that a child needs both sexes as parenting figures, two men can never replace having a mom or two women can never replace having a dad.
The child might be brought up well, but they always feel they have a missing part in their life, a hole, because they never had one of their parents sexes in their life.
Its the same as being brought up by a single parent, the child always said how they had suffer not having the other parent with them and finding it difficult not having a father or a mother figure in their life.
Thats why there are two sexes in the first place, thats why they can make babies and not gay parents. Because both sexes have important value in the child and the person growing up.
How would a girl feel not having a mother, something thats so important for a woman itself, to look up to your mother, her teaching her daughter everything about being a girl and someday that girl will also be a mother. A second father can never replace that.
Just look at Madonna how she has sufferen not having a mother, and how it was a challenge for her becoming a mother because she didnt have one growing up.
It isnt about that they can give the child a loving life, because no matter what, that child will always feel something is missing. Because nothing can replace each other.
I dont think gay people should be allowed to have children unless there is an opposite sex acting as the childs third parent.
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Literally ALL the psychological research on gay parenting contradicts this point. And I'm not talking about mainstream fluff pieces, but actual scientific journal articles have indicated a child raised by two same-sex parents are often fulfilled, more open-minded, and at times more intelligent than children raised by opposite-sex parents.
There is no literature to date supporting what you and other closed-minded individuals believe.
Those of you preaching that gay parenting is wrong should take some and educate yourself because you will quickly find out how mistaken you are.
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 5,639
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Does she not realize that anybody that has a deadbeat father that leaves feels ache? Disgusting that she blames it on her mom and step mom even though they actually raised her. How ungrateful.
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Member Since: 5/7/2012
Posts: 41,067
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Quote:
Originally posted by Qwerty1234
I do honestly think that a girl growing up with two dads, might miss out on having a mom. Especially if her close friends and family do have moms. I couldn't imagine imagine not having a mom. A dad just isn't the same.
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I'm a girl and I grew up with a mother and a father, but my mother was emotionally unavailable and I always felt much closer and connected to my father. I really feel like my mom did little to nothing when it came to me becoming who I am today and that most if not all of my views were shaped from my dad. People assume that all moms or all dads are the same, but they're not. Not all girls feel close to their mom, or feel like they're missing something with their father. My dad was a much better parent to me than my mom despite us being opposite genders so I feel like a good parent doesn't have much to do with being the same gender as their child or being more masculine/feminine, because a child being a girl doesn't automatically mean they're feminine and crave feminine influences, and a child being a boy doesn't automatically mean they're masculine and crave masculine influences.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 7,726
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Quote:
Originally posted by theoyella jukebox
The biological mom or dad is their real parent? Not the people who raised them, took care of them, fed them, clothed them, bathed them?  |
Where did I say that the biological mom or dad is their "real parent". I didn't even type the word "real" in my comment.
I'm saying, when two men bet together and say "okay, we're going to create a child and have a baby", they are purposely making the choice to deny the child "a live in mother". The same goes if two women would do that to a child.
I am not sure I'm comfortable with that. You're denying a child something I find essential to fill in a personal void.
Some say gay parents want to fill in the void of having a child.. Ever think that maybe the children also feel voids that need to be filled? Unlike in a single parent case where there's no other choice. Same sex couples knowingly make the choice to deny the child something.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 7,726
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Quote:
Originally posted by Guernica
I'm a girl and I grew up with a mother and a father, but my mother was emotionally unavailable and I always felt much closer and connected to my father. I really feel like my mom did little to nothing when it came to me becoming who I am today and that most if not all of my views were shaped from my dad. People assume that all moms or all dads are the same, but they're not. Not all girls feel close to their mom, or feel like they're missing something with their father. My dad was a much better parent to me than my mom despite us being opposite genders so I feel like a good parent doesn't have much to do with being the same gender as their child or being more masculine/feminine, because a child being a girl doesn't automatically mean they're feminine and crave feminine influences, and a child being a boy doesn't automatically mean they're masculine and crave masculine influences.
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Your mom doesn't sound too great. But you never felt like you would have LOVED to have a GOOD mom?
Quote:
Originally posted by Kali.
You can say that you disagree with what she has to say and I do understand that this forum is pretty one-sided. However, telling someone they should die, kill themselves, etc. is classless and low. People are allowed to have different opinions and not be treated like that for them. Unless they are Westboro Baptist Church or something, but this woman is clearly not. As a conservative, I never said or even THOUGHT something like this about a gay person, or a liberal in general, unless they openly stated that they wished me death or w/e. I think this woman has the right to voice her opinion on this matter, especially given her family background.
Also, from what I got from this article, she isn't saying that she is against gay marriage because her dad left her. She just said that her mother's partner couldn't replace a father-figure, which she felt that she needed. I haven't read her entire essay but I kind of feel like the same logic could be applied if her mom got herself a different man? Unless she didn't miss her dad and she just wanted a male figure in her family life... idk. I would have to read the whole thing.
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I agree.
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Member Since: 1/6/2014
Posts: 6,717
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I actually just did a research paper on this and found some interesting facts. Gay males are 1/3 as likely to divorce as a straight couple and two women are 40% less likely to divorce compared to a heterosexual partnership. This gives children of same-sex parents the odds of a more stable household. In addition to this, children with gay or lesbian parents actually score higher on overall happiness and family unity than children with straight parents.
Those are just a couple bits of information but that enough shows me that the whole "kids deserve a female AND male parent" argument is based on nothing but traditional, outdated opinions.
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Member Since: 5/7/2012
Posts: 41,067
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Quote:
Originally posted by Qwerty1234
Your mom doesn't sound too great. But you never felt like you would have LOVED to have a GOOD mom?
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I don't miss what I didn't have. All I know is what it's like to have a good dad, and I feel whole with just him. I know people want to believe in this "every child craves a mom and dad, every girl wants a mom/every boy wants a dad" but in my personal experience I don't agree with it, sometimes I feel like I actually would have been better off being raised by just my dad, having my mom in my life the way she was (which was negative) actually caused me more harm tbh.
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Member Since: 10/12/2010
Posts: 9,881
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Quote:
Originally posted by Guernica
I'm a girl and I grew up with a mother and a father, but my mother was emotionally unavailable and I always felt much closer and connected to my father. I really feel like my mom did little to nothing when it came to me becoming who I am today and that most if not all of my views were shaped from my dad. People assume that all moms or all dads are the same, but they're not. Not all girls feel close to their mom, or feel like they're missing something with their father. My dad was a much better parent to me than my mom despite us being opposite genders so I feel like a good parent doesn't have much to do with being the same gender as their child or being more masculine/feminine, because a child being a girl doesn't automatically mean they're feminine and crave feminine influences, and a child being a boy doesn't automatically mean they're masculine and crave masculine influences.
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!!!!
Thank you.
Some people here are acting as if having straight parents is all rainbows and cupcakes. 
While having same sex parents is some kind of narcissistic joke. 
Not everything always works out in straight marriages like they told you in kindergarten, **** happens and you deal with it.
This woman obv. hasn't dealt with her pathetic excuse of a father.
Once it kicks in that he left her behind, she'll finally see how lucky she was to have her mother and her partner.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 7,726
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Quote:
Originally posted by Guernica
I don't miss what I didn't have. All I know is what it's like to have a good dad, and I feel whole with just him. I know people want to believe in this "every child craves a mom and dad, every girl wants a mom/every boy wants a dad" but in my personal experience I don't agree with it, sometimes I feel like I actually would have been better off being raised by just my dad, having my mom in my life the way she was (which was negative) actually caused me more harm tbh.
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Ok. You know your own thoughts and feelings best, of course.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/31/2012
Posts: 12,510
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Quote:
Originally posted by Qwerty1234
Where did I say that the biological mom or dad is their "real parent". I didn't even type the word "real" in my comment.
I'm saying, when two men bet together and say "okay, we're going to create a child and have a baby", they are purposely making the choice to deny the child "a live in mother". The same goes if two women would do that to a child.
I am not sure I'm comfortable with that. You're denying a child something I find essential to fill in a personal void.
Some say gay parents want to fill in the void of having a child.. Ever think that maybe the children also feel voids that need to be filled? Unlike in a single parent case where there's no other choice. Same sex couples knowingly make the choice to deny the child something.
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Well, you're wrong either way. Children who have two gay parents don't feel any void, nor do kids born from IVF necessarily care who their biological parents are. All you're doing is assuming, and falling into that homophobic stereotyping mindset. Not a good look.
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Member Since: 10/19/2010
Posts: 3,941
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Quote:
Originally posted by Qwerty1234
Where did I say that the biological mom or dad is their "real parent". I didn't even type the word "real" in my comment.
I'm saying, when two men bet together and say "okay, we're going to create a child and have a baby", they are purposely making the choice to deny the child "a live in mother". The same goes if two women would do that to a child.
I am not sure I'm comfortable with that. You're denying a child something I find essential to fill in a personal void.
Some say gay parents want to fill in the void of having a child.. Ever think that maybe the children also feel voids that need to be filled? Unlike in a single parent case where there's no other choice. Same sex couples knowingly make the choice to deny the child something.
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You're basing your opinion based on the experiences you've had. You can't imagine not having a father and a mother, and the thought of not having one of them troubles you.
HOWEVER. That isn't what it's like to be raised as a child of same-sex parents. You aren't longing for a dad in a two mom household or vice versa because the environment you're in is all you've ever known. You cannot deny something to a child that actually doesn't benefit their development. If a mother willingly denies her child a relationship with her father who is a raging alcoholic, would that make you uncomfortable?
Like I said earlier, children of same-sex parents actually grow up to be healthy, functioning adults with fulfilling relationships of their own. They aren't wandering the Earth wondering why they were "denied" an opposite sex parent because their norm was healthy, and supportive.
YOU feel uncomfortable with this situation because you're applying the situation to the one you're currently in. How could you miss your father if you grew up with two moms? You wouldn't have anything tangible to miss. The girl in the article on the other hand actually had a father but he disappeared after her mom left him. Hence why she can miss him, and feel like something in her is missing.
You cannot apply your situation as being raised by two opposite-sex parents and then imaging one of them disappearing to being raised by two same-sex parents who are there forever. The comparison doesn't make sense.
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Member Since: 4/7/2009
Posts: 34,961
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Good read n stuff
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Member Since: 10/12/2010
Posts: 9,881
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Quote:
Originally posted by Qwerty1234
Where did I say that the biological mom or dad is their "real parent". I didn't even type the word "real" in my comment.
I'm saying, when two men bet together and say "okay, we're going to create a child and have a baby", they are purposely making the choice to deny the child "a live in mother". The same goes if two women would do that to a child.
I am not sure I'm comfortable with that. You're denying a child something I find essential to fill in a personal void.
Some say gay parents want to fill in the void of having a child.. Ever think that maybe the children also feel voids that need to be filled? Unlike in a single parent case where there's no other choice. Same sex couples knowingly make the choice to deny the child something.
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This is really disgusting tbh.
What are you even saying... a new born baby will love those who love him back, no matter what.
As if it comes into this world knowing what a mother and a father even is.
That's what get's learned in his/her life, now obviously the child will see his friends' parents being different than his/hers.
At that moment when the child starts asking questions it's simply time for the same sex parents to try and explain how love works.
That it's all the same but that the child itself also has a choice to choose whatever he/she wants.
You're really acting like same sex parents get a child purely because they want to make his or her life miserable, that's some ugly behavior right there.
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Member Since: 5/7/2012
Posts: 41,067
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Anyways I find it odd that people that are so against gay parenting were majority of the time raised by opposite sex parents. How can you judge whether kids raised by gay parents were missing out? You didn't personally experience it. Like I said I had a really good dad and I can't imagine my life without him, but I know many people out there had **** dads or absent dads and were raised by single moms and got along just fine. Just because I grew up one way, I know that isn't the way for everyone. Just because you grew up with a mom and a dad and that worked for you, that doesn't mean that's the way to happiness for everyone.
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Member Since: 9/2/2011
Posts: 14,788
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Typical idiot trying to find a scapegoat to justify their foolishness...
GTFO
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 7,726
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Quote:
Originally posted by theoyella jukebox
Well, you're wrong either way. Children who have two gay parents don't feel any void, nor do kids born from IVF necessarily care who their biological parents are. All you're doing is assuming, and falling into that homophobic stereotyping mindset. Not a good look.
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You're assuming things just as I am, since it's impossible to speak for every child from same-sex marriages out there or to analyze every case.
Research is a tiny bit out of a population. A lot of children of same sex marriages have written letters to the Supreme Court in which they state they are AGAINST gay marriage. There must be a reason for that.
To pretend there is not. Or that they have a "homophobic stereotyping mindset" does them and the conversation a disservice.
Unlike you though, I never type as if I KNEW what children of same sex marriages feel or not. I said that based on my personal experiences and those around me, I WONDER if the children also have voids that are left unfilled.
You're saying "They don't feel any void". You don't know that. So again; you're assuming just as I am. So your OPINION is just as valid/invalid as mine then.
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Member Since: 5/18/2011
Posts: 4,192
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Quote:
Originally posted by Qwerty1234
Where did I say that the biological mom or dad is their "real parent". I didn't even type the word "real" in my comment.
I'm saying, when two men bet together and say "okay, we're going to create a child and have a baby", they are purposely making the choice to deny the child "a live in mother". The same goes if two women would do that to a child.
I am not sure I'm comfortable with that. You're denying a child something I find essential to fill in a personal void.
Some say gay parents want to fill in the void of having a child.. Ever think that maybe the children also feel voids that need to be filled? Unlike in a single parent case where there's no other choice. Same sex couples knowingly make the choice to deny the child something.
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So by your logic, I would feel an essential personal void because I grew up with a single mother and my father has never been a factor in my life? You have no idea what you're talking about and I find your logic offensive, regardless of your views on same-sex couples raising kids.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/31/2012
Posts: 12,510
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Quote:
Originally posted by Qwerty1234
You're assuming things just as I am, since it's impossible to speak for every child from same-sex marriages out there or to analyze every case.
Research is a tiny bit out of a population. A lot of children of same sex marriages have written letters to the Supreme Court in which they state they are AGAINST gay marriage. There must be a reason for that.
To pretend there is not. Or that they have a "homophobic stereotyping mindset" does them and the conversation a disservice.
Unlike you though, I never type as if I KNEW what children of same sex marriages feel or not. I said that based on my personal experiences and those around me, I WONDER if the children also have voids that are left unfilled.
You're saying "They don't feel any void". You don't know that. So again; you're assuming just as I am. So your OPINION is just as valid/invalid as mine then.
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Could you please link me to where you found these letters?
And you didn't say you WONDERED  you flat out said they did, don't backtrack.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 7,726
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ammer
You're basing your opinion based on the experiences you've had. You can't imagine not having a father and a mother, and the thought of not having one of them troubles you.
HOWEVER. That isn't what it's like to be raised as a child of same-sex parents. You aren't longing for a dad in a two mom household or vice versa because the environment you're in is all you've ever known. You cannot deny something to a child that actually doesn't benefit their development. If a mother willingly denies her child a relationship with her father who is a raging alcoholic, would that make you uncomfortable?
Like I said earlier, children of same-sex parents actually grow up to be healthy, functioning adults with fulfilling relationships of their own. They aren't wandering the Earth wondering why they were "denied" an opposite sex parent because their norm was healthy, and supportive.
YOU feel uncomfortable with this situation because you're applying the situation to the one you're currently in. How could you miss your father if you grew up with two moms? You wouldn't have anything tangible to miss. The girl in the article on the other hand actually had a father but he disappeared after her mom left him. Hence why she can miss him, and feel like something in her is missing.
You cannot apply your situation as being raised by two opposite-sex parents and then imaging one of them disappearing to being raised by two same-sex parents who are there forever. The comparison doesn't make sense.
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Children of same sex marriages don't live in a bubble though. They live in a society in which the standard is a "mom and a dad". I have friends who were raised in single parents either because one of their parents died or wasn't in their lives and although they ARE great well rounded human beings, they've all felt the "loss" of not having a mom or a dad. We live in a society, we see and compare what we have with what others have.
I know if I grew up in a home with an abusive mom (not comparing gay parents as abusive) and a normal dad, I might look at a mom who was a great mom, and wish that my mom would be like that. The same would apply here if I had two dads/two moms and felt I was missing out (which I could feel by comparing my situation to others.)
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 3,830
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Quote:
Originally posted by theoyella jukebox
Well, you're wrong either way. Children who have two gay parents don't feel any void, nor do kids born from IVF necessarily care who their biological parents are. All you're doing is assuming, and falling into that homophobic stereotyping mindset. Not a good look.
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Well some clearly do as we are here discussing this article... Idk. I feel like most children would prefer to have a mom and a dad. I'm also saying this in the context of single parents either adopting or doing ivf. I don't feel like that person should deny a child the right to have a mom and a dad. Yes, having two same sex parents or a single parent is better than spending your life in an orphanage but there are also many straight couples willing to adopt.
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