I came across this video today as I was getting bodied by the spirit of Fresh.
If you are at work, or on your mobile phone, or if your high speed internet situation ain't really what's poppin' this month, I'll recap this video as only I can.
So Skorpian, this hot piece of sessual chocolate, this young man heard that Keri Hilson would be signing copies of her CD in between her shifts at the record store. So he put on his durag, hitched his titties up, put gloss on his lips and squeezed into his good pair of Dereon jeans. Then him, his mom, his little sister, his Aunt James, and Uncle Shirley drove all the way across town to meet Miss Hilson.
When he gets to the record store, he is informed by management that if you buy the album you get to go in the special VIP, Diva Deluxe line and meet Keri Hilson quicker (That's some Matthew Knowles Business School **** right there). So since the album was only $1.49 he bought the album so that Keri could sign it.
So he's standing in the line waiting to meet Keri Hilson, and when he gets up there Keri's personal assistant says "Miss Hilson is not speaking today she is resting her voice for a performance.
Let's keep it 100. "Turning Me On" is not exactly "Dangerously in Love Parts 3, 4, and 5", and there is NO song in Keri Hilson's catalogue that requires more than a screech or a moan, so I'm not sure exactly what Keri was saving her vocal chords for, but Tangmaster Jay up there was starting to get annoyed by Miss Hilson's diva behavior.
What finally overcooked Waymon's neckbones was when Keri would not personalize the CD. She only signed "Love, Keri", and then told him to slide to the left.
First of all let me say I can relate to Holiday's anger towards Keri. The time and hair gel he spent to go meet Keri Hilson cannot be replaced, not to mention the money he spent on her CD and then after all of that drama he leaves the store feeling like a groupie who was wasting Keri's precious time. But let's look at this another way.
There are 4 levels of fame in 2009.
LEVEL 1 - Myspace/YouTube famous
LEVEL 2 - BET Famous
LEVEL 3 - MTV Famous
LEVEL 4 - Old White People Know Who You Are
Beyonce of course is on Level 4, and so many of you [s]hoes[/s], people act like you don't know that. Beyonce is Beyonce anywhere in the world whether you're at the Gucci store in Paris or $5 Indian Hair and Check Cashing store in Decatur, Georgia. Keri Hilson is barely BET famous, so you may not understand what gives her the right to act in such a way, but in defense of Keri and the other Beyonceitis victims, let me just say it is not easy being a C or D list celebrity. From my personal experience C and D list celebrities are more self-centered than A-list celebrities because there's always the question of "Do you know who I am?". Beyonce and other A-listers rarely have to ask "Do you know who I am" because people already know.
I am going to give Keri the benefit of the doubt and assume that either she was sick or was just not having a fierce day, but I can imagine Beyonce stans are gloating about this. We should all remember that everybody has a bad day, even semi-celebrities, so here are examples of incidents when Beyonce was a little rude to her fans:
From ImmaADivo:
"I met Beyonce in December 2008, right after "I Am..Sasha Fierce" came out. She was trying to shop in New York City and she had her wig pulled low and she had on her sunglasses so I knew that she didn't want to be seen or bothered, so being the kind and considerate fan that I am I screamed "EVERYBODY LOOK! IT'S BEYONCE" So I went over to meet her and she was nice and sweet and gave me a hug. She signed my "I Am..Sasha Fierce" CD, she signed my "B'Day" CD, my "Live from Wembley" DVD, my "Writings on the Wall" CD, she signed my copy of LeToya's first CD, and she co-signed on my car lease. I explained to her that my grandma was a big fan of hers and was in the hospital and I asked her if she would go visit my grandmother in the hospital and she said yes. Then she asked me where in New York City my grandmother was and I said my grandma lives in Nigeria. So Beyonce flew to Nigeria and visited my grandmother in the hospital. Then my grandmother asked her to sing a song for her, and Beyonce said "Sure, what song do you want me to sing?" Then my grandmother said "Could you perform the whole damn Beyonce Experience for me?" So Beyonce performed the entire Beyonce Experience in my grandmother's hospital room, and did a good job except for one thing. She cut the Destiny's Child medley short. I think it was very rude and inconsiderate of Beyonce to cut the Destiny's Child medley, I mean Destiny's child is what made her and now that she got a little fame she act like she too good to do her old songs. I love Beyonce, but I don't think I'll ever look at her the same way.
From HaloHomo1981:
I needed a kidney, and Beyonce agreed to let me have one of hers. When the doctor's removed her kidney I asked her to autograph the kidney for me and she said, she wasn't sure if it was safe to sign a kidney. See this is what's wrong with celebrities these days. They are so stuck up they can't take 2 seconds of their time to sign the kidneys they give to their fans. You need to come back down to reality Beyonce and realize that it's the fans who make you who you are. I'm never buying another one of yours albums, but thanks for the kidney.
From Noelle:
[i]I have been a Beyonce fan since 1981. I even camped outside the hospital when I heard she was born. I have every CD, DVD, and Cassette, I've gone to every tour, I seen all of her movies at least 8 times, I have spent thousands of dollars on L'Oreal, Samsung Phones, Direct TV satellite dishes, Japanese bottled water, Pepsi, McDonalds, Nintendo Games, American Express cards, Audemars Piguet watches, Hermmes briefcases, Cartier tie clips, Silk-lined blazers, diamond cream facials, VVS cuff links, and six star pentsuites because Beyonce told me that I should buy it, knowing my broke ass couldn't afford it. I was a little hurt by her Beyonce's behavior when first met her. First of all I spent 3 weeks doing a painting of Beyonce breastfeeding her future child LaDereon Caprice Carter while sitting on a globe. The painting symbolizes that although Beyonce is sitting on top of the world, she is still a regular woman, who I would like to see naked. So I spent all this time on this painting and go give it her.
So I let myself in Beyonce's apartment, make myself a snack, and waited for Beyonce in her bed. I figured we could have a slumber party and do each other's hair and talk about boys and practice French kissing and all that stuff, but "Miss Diva" had other plans. When she came in a saw me naked in her bed eating up all her Hot Pockets, she started acting all very rude and stuck up and called the police and stuff. As the police dragged me out of her apartment I realized how much of a stuck-up diva Beyonce has become.
The Beyonce from back in the day would have found time to kick it with one of her fans, but Negroes these days crossover to the pop charts and they think they too good to cuddle butt naked with their stalker fans. The nerve of some people...
I'll still buy her albums and support her, I can't buy a ticket to her concert because I'm not allowed within 600 feet of her. I will always support her, but I think all this fame has started to her head.
So Skorpian, this hot piece of sessual chocolate, this young man heard that Keri Hilson would be signing copies of her CD in between her shifts at the record store. So he put on his durag, hitched his titties up, put gloss on his lips and squeezed into his good pair of Dereon jeans. Then him, his mom, his little sister, his Aunt James, and Uncle Shirley drove all the way across town to meet Miss Hilson.
Quote:
So I let myself in Beyonce's apartment, make myself a snack, and waited for Beyonce in her bed. I figured we could have a slumber party and do each other's hair and talk about boys and practice French kissing and all that stuff, but "Miss Diva" had other plans. When she came in a saw me naked in her bed eating up all her Hot Pockets, she started acting all very rude and stuck up and called the police and stuff. As the police dragged me out of her apartment I realized how much of a stuck-up diva Beyonce has become.
I swear whoever writes this stuff needs a medal....They always have me in snitches
So I let myself in Beyonce's apartment, make myself a snack, and waited for Beyonce in her bed. I figured we could have a slumber party and do each other's hair and talk about boys and practice French kissing and all that stuff, but "Miss Diva" had other plans. When she came in a saw me naked in her bed eating up all her Hot Pockets, she started acting all very rude and stuck up and called the police and stuff. As the police dragged me out of her apartment I realized how much of a stuck-up diva Beyonce has become.
ugh, imagine if Keri wrote this herself... {{stalker}}
she wouldnt sign the kidney
she signed letoya's first album co-sign car lease
she made me buy Audemars Piguet watches, Hermmes briefcases, Cartier tie clips, Silk-lined blazers, diamond cream facials, VVS cuff links, and six star pentsuites because Beyonce told me that I should buy it, knowing my broke ass couldn't afford it.
OMG this had me going for awhile
I needed a kidney, and Beyonce agreed to let me have one of hers. When the doctor's removed her kidney I asked her to autograph the kidney for me and she said, she wasn't sure if it was safe to sign a kidney. See this is what's wrong with celebrities these days. They are so stuck up they can't take 2 seconds of their time to sign the kidneys they give to their fans. You need to come back down to reality Beyonce and realize that it's the fans who make you who you are. I'm never buying another one of yours albums, but thanks for the kidney.
