NEW YORK, NY - "Just Dance" pop singer, fashionista, and tastemaker Lady GaGa is reported to have defecated the single longest mass of excrement ever recorded in the history of time. This unforseen achievements shatters decades, rather, centuries of defecation and Stefani Germanotta, 23, is speculated to share fecal traits similar to those of chimpanzees and bonobos. This would imply that Lady GaGa, er,
caca'd the largest mound of feces since the dawn of the Paleolithic era and the introduction of the homo erectus to the world. Lady GaGa, whether crass or simply modest admitted, "I knew all that triple penetration would come to good use someday!"
While not entirely official, scientists who congregated at the Sciences Building of Maine State college were hard at work, close to certifying whether the excrement's volume, was indeed, the biggest ever on Earth. The scientists, out of traditional scientist garb, can be seen here:
. What's next? "Lady Gaga is a man" ?? .... oh 
One is enough, three must hurt.
