Only during the end of semesters

Sort of.

In 2010, I had a massive row with my mum after 6 years of building up tension.negativity/hatred between each other it finally erupted. She was saying some hateful things so I responded with more hateful stuff. On top of that I was unhappy with my job. I was unhappy with my life. I had no friends. I just felt so low. Completely low. That night I emptied my wardrobe and sat in there rocking back and forth with a knife in my hand. I couldn't even cry. I felt nothing. I was empty. Numb. Then miraculously my iTunes randomly started playing Smile by MJ. I must have left it playing because I don't remember music playing before that so I must have completely zoned out. Yet that song somehow reached out to me and I started crying. I listened to the words and vowed to never put myself in this place again. That wardrobe was comfy as hell though.

I had a few smaller breakdowns after. Anyway 4 years later I finally built up the courage to go to the doctor and I was diagnosed with depression.

Do you think that there might be people who are members on Atrl but aren't here now talk about their breakdowns and how they almost took their lives because they actually did? I'll probably be one of them soon but it makes me sad thinking about so many beautiful people gone.

:c

Don't do it. I say this to EVERYONE on this site. Suicide is not the answer. Nothing remains the same forever. Believe it or not you do have the power to change whatever situation you're going through. It might not seem like that but trust me...you can. Hope is always there even when it seems bleak. I've been there and I survived. I got through the rain. That thought inside - that thought that says you should end it is just that...it's a thought. It's not a fact. Please don't act on that.

I don't know your situation (and if you want to share it then you can confide in me via PM if you want to) but I do know that humans are stronger than they may think You are stronger than you may think. When I was in that place...I took steps to never go back there. I said to myself...what would be the ideal thing to stop feeling like this? Moving out? Travelling? Getting a new job? etc. I set myself a goal and I worked towards it. Whilst working through it all my negative feelings went away. Had I ended it...I wouldn't be in such a great place today. I wouldn't have seen somany great things that I've seen. Trust me - there's always hope tat thing will improve...and they can improve if you allow yourself to work towards improving them. No one will do it for you - that's true...you need to do it yourself but trust me it's so much better than suicide.

Pff that is so common I don't know why

NX sis be safe.

Yeah, when I got drunk like 2 times

I had a 3 month period almost 2 years ago where the physical and emotional stress finally broke me and I didn't do anything with my life but cry plot how I was going to kill myself.

Yeah, I ended up in the hospital.
Not doing that again.

wish it worked like that. i have been bullied for 8 years and i have social anxiety + ocd. i have been humiliated lots of times infront of big crowds. nobody is interested in talking to me. and whenever i open up to someone, they start ignoring me. its way too difficult being alone everyday. i just cant handle it anymore. im living because i know how it feels to be sad. i dont want anyone to feel that because of my death...

The comments

But its nice to know am not alone
i don't know why either but its quite stress relieving for me. i once tried to just pull my hair off, i went as far i could till i realised how painful it was. My coward ass always gets the better of me

Yes. But it was a very for a small period, thankfully!

I'm so close to one atm and I've got no one to vent to