Member Since: 8/30/2011
Posts: 21,667
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Is 'twink' the new n-word?
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There’s a mini-brouhaha in my part of the world over a Bravo TV executive, Andy Cohen, being forced to apologize for calling members of the boy band One Direction “twinks.”
I had no idea who or what One Direction was, but just had a look, and they are twinks.
As the article about the matter explained:
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The term “twinks” is said to be a slang word for young gay men and is deemed to be offensive and derogatory.
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A number of us, myself and Dan Savage included, balked when we heard the Bravo exec felt compelled to apologize for using the term. Here’s one of the things Dan tweeted:
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“Twink” is a hate term. It oppresses young, skinny, and pretty gay boys. And, really, haven’t those boys suffered enough?
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Which raises me to a larger question. Having been on the receiving end of hate speech, or let’s just call it bigoted words, I try not to be entirely dismissive when others feel they’ve been hated on. For example, when some trans people said they didn’t like the word “tranny,” and felt it was bigoted, I think that in the end we have to take them at their word, even if many in the community, including some trans people, used the word “tranny” in a friendly and positive way.
But that does raise the question of, just like with the word twink, when does a word go from being negative or pejorative, but teasing, to full blown hate? And when should you be forced to apologize for it?
In the case of tranny, if it wasn’t used in a hateful way, and the trans community is really that upset about it, then you say “sorry, I didn’t realize, it won’t happen again,” and that should be the end of it. Same thing with a remark that we might take as being anti-gay. If it wasn’t intended, if the spirit of the comment was positive, not negative, then you simply inform the person that we prefer they not use that term (such as my concern about people who use the word “homosexual”), and if they agree, that’s that.
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not even close