Discussion: ATRL: When will Dating go back to normal ? - Page 2

Can't_M!ss_This

Quote:

Originally posted by Enne Driver.

I agree, the biggest problem with applications like Grindr it's not the wanting just sex and move on, you know, not everyone cares or want a relationship the problem it's everything based on just a photo and a description, I realized I was falling too in that trap of judging just from the photos, it's like you don't have time to waste to discover someone or just talk, but that's a huge problem of our society in general, we don't allow ourselves patience and we don't allow ourselves the chance of making mistakes , we have to get everything fast.

But it's not all bad, it's actually useful, you have the chance to meet people, it's hard for homosexuals/bisexuals to have the chance to hook up with someone irl, so.

I've been so much happier since I got rid of Grindr. I'm not a fan of shallow chat and on Grindr you run into the stupidest men. You'll rarely find someone who can conversate so it just goes in a circle.

"Hey what's up"

"Nothing much. What are you doing"

"Same. What are you up to?"

"I just told your dumb ass I'm not doing anything"

"You horny? Top? Bottom?"

"Neither. You disgust me"

"Hey what's up?

SpaceJam

Quote:

Originally posted by Enne Driver.

I agree, the biggest problem with applications like Grindr it's not the wanting just sex and move on, you know, not everyone cares or want a relationship the problem it's everything based on just a photo and a description, I realized I was falling too in that trap of judging just from the photos, it's like you don't have time to waste to discover someone or just talk, but that's a huge problem of our society in general, we don't allow ourselves patience and we don't allow ourselves the chance of making mistakes , we have to get everything fast.

But it's not all bad, it's actually useful, you have the chance to meet people, it's hard for homosexuals/bisexuals to have the chance to hook up with someone irl, so.

Everyone lies

jonasha

Never, it's gonna be messier and messier. Just imagine the SYG level messiness in the dating world.

SpaceJam

Here is the thing. I genuinely belive sites like OKCUPID,POF,TINDER wanted
to create these sites for users to find love. As people have stated on this topic
PEOPLE GIVE IN TO BASIC URGES. IN A WAY WE ARE BRAINWASHED BY
WHAT WE PERCEIVE TO BE ACCEPTABLE NORMAL BEHAVIOR.
People will set up dates with you SO FAST just to have sex with you.
THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON.

Now don't get me wrong, there is a 33% of people that use these things
that really are looking for love. Not everyone just wants sex. But a good portion
of these people do. What me to give you an example?

Go to an Ockupid profile that says only looking for NEW FRIENDS.
On His or her profile it will probally say ( I DONT WANT TO RUSH THINGS JUST LET IT HAPPEN)
or ( NOT SURE WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR) or DONT KNOW WHY I EVEN SIGNED UP FOR THIS.

PLEASE YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHY U SIGNED UP FOR A DATING WEBSITE.

Now go to their % questions that they answered.

Would you enjoy a rape fantasy? : YES
Would you sleep with someone on first date? : YES
Did you sign up for okc just for sex: YES

SO LET ME GUESS U DIDNT LIST CAUSAL SEX BECAUSE IT WOULD MAKE U SEEM BAD>

The novelty of using these sites will wear off maybe in 2 years. For now tho people
are infatuated with being able to have sex whenever they want. People who look
UGLY AS SIN now get EGO boosts. GUYS OR GIRLs who are a 3.0 think they are
a 7.0 8.0 because they are getting sex requests. Its a false sense if Identity

TRUST ME BUZZFEED STEALS ALL OF MY THREADS THIS WILL BLOW UP.
THIS IS A TOPIC THAT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED.

I hope these sites pull the rug from everyone and make it a pay only site.
Then where will all these sex addicts go?

Maiko

OkCupid is fine. If you're having problems on that site then you either have a crappy pool of members in your area, or you're black.

If someone wants to cheat, they will cheat. Find you someone that isn't about that life because dating will never go back to "normal", it is only going to spiral into making it easier for people to find what they want. For men, this is usually sex.

Adam4Adam, Grindr, Jackd and most other location based services are hook up centric. If you don't want to hookup, stay away from them. Furthermore, if you don't want a cheater, I'd advise you stay away from them as well. I couldn't talk to anyone that uses those things. I try not to judge but being perched on Grindr all day for the next hookup is a red flag for me.

I don't know about you, but I've worked to hard too hard to maintain my health to risk it in a hookup with some common carnal gay.

Rian.

Are you trying to say that people didn't cheat back in the day?
Giiirl

Cheating isn't anything new, it has been done for ages.

SpaceJam

Quote:

Originally posted by Maiko

OkCupid is fine. If you're having problems on that site then you either have a crappy pool of members in your area, or you're black.

If someone wants to cheat, they will cheat. Find you someone that isn't about that life because dating will never go back to "normal", it is only going to spiral into making it easier for people to find what they want. For men, this is usually sex.

Adam4Adam, Grindr, Jackd and most other location based services are hook up centric. If you don't want to hookup, stay away from them. Furthermore, if you don't want a cheater, I'd advise you stay away from them as well. I couldn't talk to anyone that uses those things. I try not to judge but being perched on Grindr all day for the next hookup is a red flag for me.

I don't know about you, but I've worked to hard too hard to maintain my health to risk it in a hookup with some common carnal gay.

For New England these sites have some of the worst people ever.
Even when dating someone normally on there, They still have their
profile up and running. I have been on enough dates to see the patterns.

At least in CT & Boston.

BGXKB

Quote:

Originally posted by Can't_M!ss_This

I spend maybe 45 minutes on this site in two days. My friends and life aren't affected by ATRL.net. However, my dating life is next to nothing since if I use Grindr I'm going to find nothing but guys who want a hook up. If they're open to dating they'll also have "or fun too" in their profile. I used Grindr for 3 years before I deleted it for good a few months ago. I've seen it all on their. I did find two boyfriends in that time but those boyfriends just didn't want to be alone. So that was a bust.

I'm sure it varies by area but where I'm at the gays want the sex and just that, if you meet them on the apps. I've had friends that would literally spend hours swiping left and right on Tinder looking for someone. The only thing that broke up that habit was the occasional check of Grindr to see if the guy they're after on that app messaged them back.

The problem isn't the technology. It's how it is being used. People are giving in to their base urges and the worst part of themselves because they can and because it is easy. Why work towards getting to know someone when you can have sex with them and move on? While I'm attractive, if my profile is next to somebody who is like a model or an adonis, I'm going to get looked over even if my profile makes me seem like a perfect match to whatever guy is looking. I'll get messaged after the hotter guys get taken or turn them down. It's a cycle really. The hottest get picked first and the closer you get to 3 am while still alone, the more desperate pick you become.

I think it's things like that which will lead to dating going back to normal

Incredible accuracy

Maiko

Quote:

Originally posted by SpaceJam

For New England these sites have some of the worst people ever.
Even when dating someone normally on there, They still have their
profile up and running. I have been on enough dates to see the patterns.

At least in CT & Boston.

If you're just DATING them, they don't have to remove their profile. You guys are just dating. But if you enter a full on mutual relationship then its up to you to stand your ground and enforce that, even though morally your partner should know better. If a person let's their partner keep their dating profile while they are in a relationship with them, then that's on them. I would never.

Delete it fat.

SpaceJam

Quote:

Originally posted by Maiko

If you're just DATING them, they don't have to remove their profile. You guys are just dating. But if you enter a full on mutual relationship then its up to you to stand your ground and enforce that, even though morally your partner should know better. If a person let's their partner keep their dating profile while they are in a relationship with them, then that's on them. I would never.

Delete it fat.

Maybe its just me but when I date someone I only date 1 person.
I dont date 5 people in the same week.

Enne Driver.

Quote:

Originally posted by SpaceJam

PEOPLE GIVE IN TO BASIC URGES. IN A WAY WE ARE BRAINWASHED BY
WHAT WE PERCEIVE TO BE ACCEPTABLE NORMAL BEHAVIOR.
People will set up dates with you SO FAST just to have sex with you.
THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON.

This is so true.

Maiko

Quote:

Originally posted by SpaceJam

Maybe its just me but when I date someone I only date 1 person.
I dont date 5 people in the same week.

Nah you gotta date these ****** like you hosting a tournament and

narrow them down to bae.

SpaceJam

Quote:

Originally posted by Maiko

Nah you gotta date these ****** like you hosting a tournament and

narrow them down to bae.

Why, I would not want that done 2 me

Thats why I only talk to one persona at a time

Maiko

Quote:

Originally posted by SpaceJam

Why, I would not want that done 2 me

Thats why I only talk to one persona at a time

Because the purpose of dating is so that you can get to know someone and see if you're compatible before you take the next step. Dating by no means implies exclusive.

Do you think you take the dating stage too seriously?

judaskills

While those apps make it easier to be a shady person or hookup with tons of people, it's not their fault. It's the users fault. I always see people saying grindr is for hookups etc, no you dirty h*es, you make it that way. Some people actually use it to meet guys in the area. I don't know... I really don't know how to meet other guys any other way. I don't like going out to bars So... But could someone please bring the damn romance back? /end rant

SpaceJam

Quote:

Originally posted by Maiko

Because the purpose of dating is so that you can get to know someone and see if you're compatible before you take the next step. Dating by no means implies exclusive.

Do you think you take the dating stage too seriously?

IF you are seeing someone for 4 months
and they still seeing other ppl thats messed up

judaskills

Quote:

Originally posted by SpaceJam

Maybe its just me but when I date someone I only date 1 person.
I dont date 5 people in the same week.

Don't worry. I completely agree with you. If we're seeing each other and getting along good and you're still browsing on a dating app, nah you're not for me. Its weird, I'm like an old fashioned gay apparently lol.

judaskills

Quote:

Originally posted by Can't_M!ss_This

I spend maybe 45 minutes on this site in two days. My friends and life aren't affected by ATRL.net. However, my dating life is next to nothing since if I use Grindr I'm going to find nothing but guys who want a hook up. If they're open to dating they'll also have "or fun too" in their profile. I used Grindr for 3 years before I deleted it for good a few months ago. I've seen it all on their. I did find two boyfriends in that time but those boyfriends just didn't want to be alone. So that was a bust.

I'm sure it varies by area but where I'm at the gays want the sex and just that, if you meet them on the apps. I've had friends that would literally spend hours swiping left and right on Tinder looking for someone. The only thing that broke up that habit was the occasional check of Grindr to see if the guy they're after on that app messaged them back.

The problem isn't the technology. It's how it is being used. People are giving in to their base urges and the worst part of themselves because they can and because it is easy. Why work towards getting to know someone when you can have sex with them and move on? While I'm attractive, if my profile is next to somebody who is like a model or an adonis, I'm going to get looked over even if my profile makes me seem like a perfect match to whatever guy is looking. I'll get messaged after the hotter guys get taken or turn them down. It's a cycle really. The hottest get picked first and the closer you get to 3 am while still alone, the more desperate pick you become.

I think it's things like that which will lead to dating going back to normal

Completely agree. Very well said

Tsuko

It's never going to go back to how it was before. It's got to be up to individual people how they want their sex life to be, but the majority of people are going to want to be promiscuous, especially when they're young and especially since it's so easy today and there are practically no draw-backs anymore.

Maiko

Quote:

Originally posted by SpaceJam

IF you are seeing someone for 4 months
and they still seeing other ppl thats messed up

If you guys are not just dating then yes. Other than that you can only blame yourself for being to invested with someone that you're not even in an relationship with.

I'm very traditional but dating is just dating, if you tend to get too attached before you even enter a relationship then you're setting yourself up.