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Poll: Which song has the best lyrics? see results live at 11 EST!
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View Poll Results: Best song?
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Surrender
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21 |
35.59% |
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Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye
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14 |
23.73% |
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Scarlet Bitch
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24 |
40.68% |
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
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Which song has the best lyrics? see results live at 11 EST!
This week is the finale of the ATRL hit game Platinum Hit, a songwriting competition in its 6th season on ATRL. I decided to bring back something we did in an older season and have you guys vote on the best lyrics. These are the final 3 contestants, and these are songs they've submitted in past rounds. This public vote will count for 25% of their finale score. The finalists are Truth Teller, Sam (Jay), and MattyTacos, but their songs will remain without an identity.
Quote:
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Originally posted by Surrender
Verse 1
I’m caught in the crossfire of a self-sustaining war
But ignorance and courage keep me coming back for more
Hiding in the trenches filled with lies I tell myself
A shallow ditch of pity that destroys my mental health
Chorus
And so I run, into the no man’s land
Surrounded by the fallen, faceless souls
Won’t ever be that man
I’ll soldier on ‘til I’m forever known
You thought I’d forfeit fighting, I thought you knew me better
Because I’m a defender; and I’ll never surrender
Verse 2
Watch me raise the white flag just so you can see it burn
You’ve struck me down too many times; it’s finally my turn
Now armed with my undeterred desire to survive
Know when I dance with death is when I truly feel alive
Chorus
And so I run, into the no man’s land
Surrounded by the fallen, faceless souls
Won’t ever be that man
I’ll soldier on ‘til I’m forever known
You thought I’d forfeit fighting, I thought you knew me better
Because I’m a defender; and I’ll never surrender
Bridge
When I forget the past, I know forever I will last
Chorus
And so I run, into the no man’s land
Surrounded by the fallen, faceless souls
Won’t ever be that man
I’ll soldier on ‘til I’m forever known
You thought I’d forfeit fighting, I thought you knew me better
Because I’m a defender; and I’ll never surrender
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye
 Color explanation
Blue represents the man
Light Purple represents the woman
Dark Purple represents both of them, the bits where both sing
1ST VERSE
This is the last time I'm facing the sun
last time I feel the wind
This is the last time I'll gaze at your eyes
reach out and touch your skin
I'll hold your hand till I'm taken away
until my world turns white
You're here to see me off to my last trip
like you've been all my life
CHORUS
We'll be in the fire's invincible vengeance
We'll be in the water's unstoppable flow
We'll be in the earth's menacing shatter
We'll be in the air, whistling our love
Eternally we'll be bonded together
One on the ground and one in the sky
The power of us will live on forever
Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye.
Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye
2ND VERSE
I still remember the day we first met
cornfield under sunlight
You pulled me close and gently approached
until your lips met mine
Love you proclaimed and under oath you swore
you'd never leave my side
Now you drift away, to heaven you stroll
you're leaving me behind
CHORUS
We'll be in the fire's invincible vengeance
We'll be in the water's unstoppable flow
We'll be in the earth's menacing shatter
We'll be in the air, whistling our love
Eternally we'll be bonded together
One on the ground and one in the sky
The power of us will live on forever
Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye.
Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye
BRIDGE
Now I'll rise like the sun does at dawn
How can I let you travel alone?
linger to venture an abyss unknown?
When you need me, I will always be home
If I hold onto your hand as you soar
they might let you stay or dislodge us both
from our fate we could never withdraw
But I'll be here even after I go
CHORUS
We'll be in the fire's invincible vengeance
We'll be in the water's unstoppable flow
We'll be in the earth's menacing shatter
We'll be in the air, whistling our love
Eternally we'll be bonded together
One on the ground and one in the sky
The power of us will live on forever
Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye.
Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye
OUTRO
My love, it's time
Just wait a while
Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye
Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye
Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye |
Quote:
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Originally posted by Scarlet Bitch
Chorus 1
Her hands on the trigger, look fast or you’ll miss her
She bangs him twice, one in bed, and one in the head
Boys wanna kiss her, cause her lips taste like sweet cherry liquor
Verse 1
Echoes scream from the black and white tv screen
Guns and boys, the perfect dream
Sirens behind her howling of red and blue, baby can’t you tell she’s bad for you?
But of course, as you always do
You don’t have a clue, no honey you never do
Chorus 2
Her hands on the trigger, look fast or you’ll miss her
She bangs him twice, one in bed, and one in the head
Boys wanna kiss her, cause her lips taste like sweet cherry liquor
She’s a Scarlet Bitch
Oh, she’s a Scarlet Bitch
Yeah, she’s a Scarlet Bitch
Bridge 1
All the boys sip their cola, they feel like they know her
They remember her now, from Susie who lives downtown
Till her man said, “Oh you know it all now?”
“But you don’t know this,” and she didn’t
She got shot in the head, fell down in her bed
Funny cause the other day she said she was better off dead
Verse 2
Scarlet and her mustang Sweet Roman, come rolling
She says she’s from out of town, just roaming
Don’t love her, her heart is broken
Don’t love her, she has chosen
Bridge 2
She uses her bullets and boys to escape her life
But what happens when she runs out of ammo
And there’s no boys to be found partying tonight?
Will she finally realize the true emptiness inside
Will she put on her lipstick and eyeshadow and try again tomorrow night?
Chorus 2
Her hands on the trigger, look fast or you’ll miss her
She bangs him twice, one in bed, and one in the head
Boys wanna kiss her, cause her lips taste like sweet cherry liquor
She’s a Scarlet Bitch
Oh, she’s a Scarlet Bitch
Yeah, she’s a Scarlet Bitch
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 2,955
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I feel like the first 2 are ballads, and the last is a pop punk kinda thing.
I've read over them 3 times but I'm gonna look once more before I vote. I like them all, but I think they're all excellent in one way, and flawed in another. I'll read over and post again then I'll post what I think the flaws are.
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 2,955
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Can't believe I was .2 of a point away from this finale. Wait for the Ausdaniel revival.... 
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 2,955
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Ok so I love Surrender. I feel that it is flaw-free. I would give it my vote, but the bridge is too short. I feel like this song could really benefit with a heart-wrenching bridge. Could've been easily achieved with a little more writing.
With Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye, I don't think it's very original. I mean, this could easily been any love song, sung by any male and female singer. I don't see hit. I think the outro is unnecessary and I also feel it could've benefit with a triumphant 2 person sung together bridge.
Scarlet Bitch is really interesting. It drags you in, you wanna read over a couple more times to really understand what is going on. FINALLY, A SONG WITH A DECENT BRIDGE. I just feel like the theme and language is a bit repellant, too isolating to a particular audience. It's not gonna be an easy reading/listening song, it's really in your face with all of it's power. This is not a bad thing, but it's not excellent...
I'm gonna have to vote for Surrender, and I have a slight suspicion as to whose it is 
Btw don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to bash all of your songs. They're all excellent, I just have to pick at them a little to decide which to vote for. You all began at 100 when I read them, I just had to find things to deduct points on to really choose who to give my vote for.
If I was ranking:
1. Surrender
2. Scarlet Bitch
3. Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye.
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Member Since: 2/5/2014
Posts: 29,111
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They're all great, but Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye got to me.
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Member Since: 10/5/2009
Posts: 137,162
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Surrender's first verse is a little preachy, I think. It actually gets better as it goes on, though. The chorus is absolutely fantastic and all the lyrics are very well-done either way.
Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye. didn't really do anything for me, I feel like it's cute but not good enough for a finale, really. Not bad, just not up to the level that it should be.
Scarlet Bitch is cool, I also envisioned it as pop-punk song like ausdaniel said. It was starting off great but the other verses as well as the bridge are pretty hit-or-miss, basically having the reverse reaction of Surrender (getting unfortunately weaker as the song went on rather than stronger.) Wish that all that strength could've flowed through the whole thing.
Rank:
1. Surrender
2. Scarlet Bitch
3. Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye.
Congrats and good luck to all. 
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
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 None.
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Lol flop
I voted for Euphoressay's song, Eurphoessay4tehWIN
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 40,803
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Surrender
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 23,128
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You should make the font all the same (default text) so it's easier to read  less distracting too
Um I'm gonna vote for Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye.
It's pretty cheesy but I could see this actually being a duet. Scarlet is my second choice, I like the idea but some of the wording felt off/forced to me (but overall that is probably the best song).
But for delivery TYILYG has me rolling so  gonna give it my vote
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Member Since: 2/5/2014
Posts: 29,111
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I realized I didn't actually vote in the poll last time I was here.
Surrender had some cool imagery and has a kind of power behind it.
Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye just feels so carefully thought out. Every word just feels like it was chosen deliberately for a specific connotation and I like the use of earth and the elements in the chorus.
Scarlet Bitch
Quote:
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She bangs him twice, one in bed, and one in the head
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 That line is pretty great. The whole song is fun, but the other seemed to take a more substantive approach.
1) Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye
2) Surrender
3) Scarlet Bitch
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 3,201
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Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
None. |
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
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Not all the judges trashing the contestants 
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Member Since: 4/14/2011
Posts: 48,397
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Can't believe Surrender is winning it's my least favorite out of the three, if it were a poem sure but if someone actually sang it it would be hard
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
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I see you lurking Cheetah (what's new  )
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Member Since: 5/6/2011
Posts: 26,891
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Scarlet Bitch slays. The other two are cheesy
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 5,500
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Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
I see you lurking Cheetah (what's new ) |
you caught me.
All three are great but I've gotta go with Scarlet Bitch 
My Ranking:
1. Scarlett Bitch
2. Thank You. I Love You. Goodbye
3. Surrender
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Member Since: 10/18/2010
Posts: 29,224
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Member Since: 3/14/2013
Posts: 37,294
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I think I know who wrote Surrender, but don't wanna influence the votes 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
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When did Scarlet Bitch suddenly get 5 votes out of nowhere 
The competition is close
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