It was about a year ago when I had noticed how I was losing relationship with many of my friends including my best friend and worst of all they didn't seem to even notice or care. I had tried desperately to regain what we once had.I poured myself into and tried to nourish our friendship yet no matter what I did it was still neglected and dry. I simply wasn't important enough, I had been replaced, still In between waves of spite I tried to salvage what was left. Finally when things started looking brighter a series of events left me selfishly betrayed and abandoned. I decided to something drastic, stop fighting the current and cut my ties; "if this ship is gonna keep taking in water I might as well sink it". I stopped talking to them, stopped thinking about them and tried to let my memories erode. Listening to Clean ten months later was like art imitating life, I had realized just how toxic my reliance was and how destructive and crippling it was to let how they felt about and treated me or how I precieved them to, dictate how I felt about myself.
In amist those moments soaking in numbing devastation when the loneliness suffocated me is when I learned true independance, the strength of my character and ultimately, freedom. Even though the method was probably unessacarily painful and ironically destructive, it allowed me to grow exponentially and for that I am grateful.

Lastly, this song embodies Self-worth, Self-love and Self-respect.
You just can't live your whole life trying to please everyone around you. You don't have to conceal what you feel, what you want to say or what you want to do just to avoid being judged. If you do, then you're no longer yourself. You can't be someone everyone else wants you to be.

In It Takes Two, Katy apologizes to her lover after realizing that she was partly responsible for the downfall of their relationship. She admits she's "not that innocent" and wants to be the first one to say sorry. Knowing that her lover was at fault too, Katy wishes that he can own up to his mistakes as well.

"I can only be the change I want to see."

This song is a special song to me because it has allowed me to reflect upon myself. I discovered that I have been very immature in handling my relationships. This song has made me open up and understand that a healthy relationship needs to be maintained by both parties. Previously, I was a very self-centered person who always takes my family and friends' love and concern for granted. Upon realizing that such an act was a very selfish one, I decided I had to face reality and make a change in myself. I need to take responsibility in my relationships and not harm my loved ones anymore.

"Not The Doctor" is quintessential Alanis - crafty worded, rawly vocalized, poetic and metaphorical expressions of emotion set to a chugging acoustic guitar. The song lists off things Alanis no longer wants to deal with in life, or more specifically, a bad relationship ("I don't want to be the sweeper of the egg shells that you walk upon"). She stands up, powerfully, and puts her foot down after what sounds like a period of being mistreated. For me, the feeling of "change" is evident in this song. She's shaking herself out of a bad situation, clearly expressing what she no longer wants, and moving on - therefore changing for the better. The challenge itself this week asked how I personally relate to this song with regards to changing. While I'm not in a bad relationship, I do relate to how Alanis is using her voice to demand change. As I get older, I move away from the way I used to think: I can be timid and often don't like confrontation - as a result I sometimes avoid speaking up for myself simply because I didn't want to rock the boat. With age, I'm now in a place where I'm starting to understand that I can, in fact, speak my mind, share my thoughts, and demand respect, whether personally or professionally. For me, this song is inspiration in finding my backbone, and making a change towards being someone, like Alanis, who isn't afraid to make a point and have their voice fearlessly heard.