“We only carry sizes one, three and five. You could try Sears.”
“It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain. Well… they can tell when it’s raining.”
“Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.”
“I don’t hate you ‘cause your fat. You’re fat ‘cause I hate you!
“One time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome.”
“Regina George is not sweet! She’s a scum-sucking road *****, she ruined my life!”
“Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!”
“You smell like a baby prostitute.”
“I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re so gap-toothed.”
“Everyone in Africa can read Swedish.”
“If you’re from Africa, why are you white?”
“Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles. And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it. And I’m sorry for repeating it now.
