Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 7,225
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During sex my White BF wants to role play with me as a slave
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Dear Bossip,
I’m in a bit of a situation and am hoping you will be able to provide some insight.
So, let me give you the context. I am currently in my first interracial relationship (me: black, him: white) for about 6 months. It first started while we were intimate and he asked, “Who’s your master?” To which I stopped what I was doing and he stated he had gone too far.
The thing is it didn’t stop there. I am not one to censor people’s fantasies and we have even participated in a rape fantasy. I am okay that he likes to dominate during sex, but he isn’t that way during our day to day life. He’s always quick to stop what he’s doing if I use our “safe word.”
Lately, though, he has been saying he wants to role play where I am a slave and he is the master, and I am just not cool with it. He feels like I’m overreacting. He wants to put me in chains, and when I said my peace, he joked and said, “You shouldn’t be ashamed of your heritage. LOL”
He even once quietly said to me in jest when a guy was looking at me, “Stop looking, that’s my slave.” Like WTF?!? He keeps saying it’s a fantasy and nothing else to it. I just don’t find it cute nor do I think I’m overreacting. It’s not as if his family is a stranger to interracial dating as his sister is in an interracial relationship and they have a child together. My question is how do I move forward in this situation? Should I be concerned? – Not Feeling The Role Play
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Dear Ms. Not Feeling The Role Play,
Get out of this relationship. He’s showing and telling you who he really is. And, yes, you should be concerned. His statements are racist, sexist, and vile. Ma’am, it’s been all of six months, and he’s already showing you who he is and what he’s about. GET OUT!
You’re in a relationship with a white man who’s fantasy is really to sleep with black women and treat you like the exotic fetishized other and to live out his fantasies of treating you like a slave with him dominating you like some master, and to berate, belittle, and demean you. Girl, this fool will be in public calling you a slave, and treating you like you’re less than human and he will embarrass you.
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Full Article
Interesting.  Now there's nothing wrong with role-playing during sex. But I totally agree that him calling her a slave in public is unacceptable, and she should break up with him based on that alone. He was taking the slave-master thing too far.
What do you think of all of this? Should she break up with him?
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Love yoself.
