Quote:
Originally posted by Guernica
what's wrong booboo
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me and my friend have this schtick where i jokingly insult/mess with him and he gets back at me by like hitting me or something similar
and about an hour ago he got angry at me and it was serious and he yelled at me and said i needed to stop doing it, and that's upsetting but not the real problem
then after he said that a few people at a table of people i thought were my friends started talking about how annoying i was and how much i bothered them right in front of my face
it was mortifying and i ran from the table and cried in the bathroom and left my stuff right in the dining hall
the thing is that i'm not smart, funny, interesting, or anything like that so that kind of humor is the only way i have to interest people and make them actually want to be around me. i have to act like an idiot all the time because that's what makes people like me and it seems like it actually annoys people and that's really upsetting
and not only that but i thought they were my friend group, i thought i was finally catching on and starting to make friends at college but the truth is i don't fit in with anyone, i never have, and i feel like i'm never going to have any friends like i haven't for most of my entire life
when i try my very best to be a fun person and finally appeal to people i'm annoying and the rest of the time i can't ever make anyone want to be my friend, and this group was the only one that's shown signs of liking me and being similar to me and it looks like even they don't want me around
i'm so ashamed i don't want to talk to any of them ever again even though i like them a lot and i thought i was really getting close to the one that initially yelled at me, but the truth is i'm not and in fact more people dislike me now than ever before
