Member Since: 1/25/2012
Posts: 6,215
|
Was this a rude dating advice?
I was called out for telling an acquaintance complaining about her string of failed relationships and bad experiences with men, that she should work on herself before dating again. She claimed i was being dismissive of men mistreating her and blaming her for their actions.
This is when i had to pause and actually reflect on what I meant by my advice vs how she interpreted it.
Look, we aren't responsible for other people's actions. You and I cannot change as*hole dude. What we do have control over, however, is what kind of treatment we accept from others and how it affect us. That asshole doesn't have to be your boyfriend. You don't have to allow him into your life. You don't have to be hurt.
The problem is that a lot of women would rather be with assholes than be single. When i say, girl, maybe you should take some time to work on yourself, i don't mean, change who you are so (better) men will be attracted to you. I'm saying, if you loved and respected yourself just a little more, you'd be able to recognize toxic behaviour and have the emotional strength to exit that situation before you get hurt. It means having the self-worth to understand that you don't have to accept the bare minimum from men who barely like you, just to feel connected to somebody.
People need to be happy by their own nature first if they want their relationships to work. And if you find happiness and security within yourself, paying them dust will be effortless. I'm just suggesting something that can help you make healthier choices and to be happier with your life and the people in it.
It's not something everybody wants to hear. Maybe that means she won't come to me with her problems next time But I won't be the reason a bish thinks it's okay to continue on those self-destructive paths.
|
|
|
|
